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Could the Cape Fly in Modern Fashion?

Updated on February 28, 2014
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Starlight is an evil genius whose neither evil nor dominating the world. But he's a good Dad who supports his family working from home.

The Cape - Why Not?
The Cape - Why Not?

The Incredibles' tailor Edna Mose - NO CAPES!

It's not the Iditerod. It's busy side of Wal-Mart's parking lot. It's the idiot-erod.

In this modern world where we go outside momentarily from the heated car to the heated store, we are exposed to the cold for the time it takes to walk past some parked cars and a bunch of empty handicapped spaces. So why do we have to mess around with a bunch of ever-loving buttons, zippers, snaps, ties, and even velcro?

We're not scaling a mountain or probing Siberia for oil shale. There's no reason to constantly don an outfit for an epic dogsled race-it's not the Iditerod. It's busy side of Wal-Mart's parking lot. It's the idiot-erod. And it's Zero degrees, but only for the 45-second walk.

Of three average shoppers, two likely have puffy coats partially zipped if at all, and the third, wise to the problem of overheating, brilliantly opts for a T-shirt, PJs, and flip-flops.

So What to Wear, Cape, Cloak, or Coat?

For a moment, forget about vampires, superheroes, magicians, toga-parties, wizards, Sherlock Holmes and Obi-Wan-Kenobi. Pretend you've never seen a cape before and never heard Brad Bird as "Edna Mose" telling Mr. Incredible "No Cape!"

Imagine a warm garment that is nothing like a Snuggie or Animal House Toga. It's more James Bond than Jim Belushi. It looks good. You don't feel like Servius Snape because it doesn't have that Phantom of the Opera vibe, and it isn't even all-black because it doesn't have to be!

I'd like to have an over-garment that's as easy to handle as just taking it off a hook and either sliding the (breakaway) loop over your head or cinching it apart and back together like you're fixing your collar or tie. I live in a warm home, I'd let it drape over my back until everyone's ready to head out the door.

Outside you instinctively wrap it around your body as you walk. Upon entering the warmed vehicle, you throw off the cold literally by throwing off the cold cloth to each side when you take your seat or pass into the warm air. By the time you leave, it is warmed enough to provide comfort when you envelop yourself once again for another minute. Brilliant.

5 Variations in Capeology to Confuse the Kids.

  1. Cloaks are capes with hoods. The tend to be thicker, longer, and comparitively warmer. More useful outdoors, not usually worn indoors. Think Hobbit.
  2. Ferraiolo capes are the kind you see in the Roman Catholic Church. They are long and somewhat thin for mostly indoor use. Think Dracula.
  3. Celtic Capes are more like sleeveless coats. Think bagpipes calling O Danny Boy.
  4. Fashion Capes are very thin, even of mesh for aesthetic purposes. Think Weddings, runways, Gaga Gaga Gaga.
  5. Costume Capes were sported in the 60's, 70's and 80's by performers such as James Brown and Ozzy Ozbourne. Cos-capes surged in popularity since the 90's among renaissance, LARP, and especially Cos-Players for conventions such as Comic-con. Think Thor.

1. Cloaks

2. The Ferrariolo Capes

Cardinall Sarr in a Ferrariolo
Cardinall Sarr in a Ferrariolo

1954 The Cape Still Lived. Sported Well By the Engaging, Humorous, Venerable (and Theatrical) Bishop Sheen

3. The Celtic / Scottish Cape

Modern Version of the Highland Cape
Modern Version of the Highland Cape
Piper's got style. Maybe kilts will be the next big thing. Tom Petty already wrote a song about it called "Freeballin'"
Piper's got style. Maybe kilts will be the next big thing. Tom Petty already wrote a song about it called "Freeballin'"

4. Fashion Capes (Women's)

Subtle style, not a bold statement here but a witty and timely comment from some sharp minds on the cutting edge.
Subtle style, not a bold statement here but a witty and timely comment from some sharp minds on the cutting edge.
A bit bold but formal enough for the boardroom. You'd better own the place to be this bold.
A bit bold but formal enough for the boardroom. You'd better own the place to be this bold.
Runway bold, you'd better own the runway or at least walk like you do. My Spidey Sense tells me this is a no-go. The hat looks like bug eyes, the legs are very insex-ual and the best part of the outfit. The cape / wings sway me from "Mama to Mothra"
Runway bold, you'd better own the runway or at least walk like you do. My Spidey Sense tells me this is a no-go. The hat looks like bug eyes, the legs are very insex-ual and the best part of the outfit. The cape / wings sway me from "Mama to Mothra"
Classy... but hiding something? She looks hot in it but I have to ask, are you smuggling a small housepet back there? Either way, rrrrrrreaow.
Classy... but hiding something? She looks hot in it but I have to ask, are you smuggling a small housepet back there? Either way, rrrrrrreaow.
Now this is the one I think looks so good, for casual dress almost anyone would love to be seen in this trendy take.
Now this is the one I think looks so good, for casual dress almost anyone would love to be seen in this trendy take.
Ahoy Boston! the cape is coming! The cape is coming! Not sure Boston will be ready this minute. Maybe the cape is too revolutionary.
Ahoy Boston! the cape is coming! The cape is coming! Not sure Boston will be ready this minute. Maybe the cape is too revolutionary.

5. Costume Capes

The Hills are alive...
The Hills are alive...
with the sound of Hugo Boss designer wear Nazi boots goostepping... Mr. Von Trapp, however, seems to have given his Austrian Loden Cape to some Texan Lady. What to do about Maria?
with the sound of Hugo Boss designer wear Nazi boots goostepping... Mr. Von Trapp, however, seems to have given his Austrian Loden Cape to some Texan Lady. What to do about Maria?

Men's- Function meets Fashion Cape

This isn't me, but a decent portrayal of what I imagine of myself (a bit older) in a cape. You can tell byt the look on my face my articles are getting thousands of reads a day!
This isn't me, but a decent portrayal of what I imagine of myself (a bit older) in a cape. You can tell byt the look on my face my articles are getting thousands of reads a day!
This is the basic design I favor, I just haven't gotten one yet.
This is the basic design I favor, I just haven't gotten one yet.
Hunters use waterproof ones, more like a poncho. It's a good scent blocker for stealth. The downside is that farts are warm air, which rises, and gets funneled and trapped in the hood. Try to maintain stealth during that!
Hunters use waterproof ones, more like a poncho. It's a good scent blocker for stealth. The downside is that farts are warm air, which rises, and gets funneled and trapped in the hood. Try to maintain stealth during that!
Someone designed this thermally insulated waterproof cape to give to the homeless. I'm sure they use it during a cold snap, even over a winter coat.
Someone designed this thermally insulated waterproof cape to give to the homeless. I'm sure they use it during a cold snap, even over a winter coat.

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