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Pantyhose For Stylish Men

Updated on October 16, 2009
This fine chap demonstrates the total class of a well chosen pair of hose...
This fine chap demonstrates the total class of a well chosen pair of hose...

I don't know about you, but when I think hosiery, I think style. I think class. I think tiny pieces of cheese and glasses of wine that make your head spin to the horse like sounds of other people laughing at obscure Russian jokes.

Unless we're talking about ripped fishnets, in which case I think of ways to recycle trampy clothing into a soap holder that will collect those little slivers of soap into one big ball of reused soapy weirdness. But I digress.

This is a little guide for men to aid in the choosing of stylish hosiery

Simplicity Rules

Sometimes style means playing it safe with dark opaque stockings that hide the hairy reality of your legs to the world. Women love opaque stockings for this reason, on days where the shaving stubble has started to rage out of control on our calves, a pair of opaque stockings can have us looking as well groomed as a Virgin Air Hostess. (They always look pretty damn well groomed to me.)

If you go with a dark enough pair of opaque stockings or pantyhose you will probably be able to get away with wearing them in public.

Go Mute

Fishnet stockings might make you look like a lady of the night, but equally revealing paisley patterned stockings make you look like an accountant's super efficient assistant. See how that works? Neither. But it does, and we shouldn't fight it. If you must show some flair and choose some patterned stockings, ensure that the pattern would look good as wall paper in your grandmother's house. If it passes the grandma's wall paper test, it is good to go on your legs.

Fresh is Best

Is there anything better than a pair of stockings pulled carefully from the cardboardy embrace of their packaging? I think not. For that truly classy effect, put on a pair of new stockings. Old hosiery can be prone to pilling and running and a whole host of other sins that will bring your classyness down. Roll those pantyhose or stockings down to the toes and carefully, gradually ease the fresh nylon up your leg for that classy look and that perfect feel.

Avoid The Traps

Wearing hosiery can be perilous. Stay away from pets, pet hair, and other similar forces of anti hosiery which can ruin a new pair of pantyhose in seconds. Fences, pieces of metal, splinters, even bushes can conspire to penetrate your nylon shield, so it pays to be vigilant at all times.

The power of nylon is at your fingertips. Weild it wisely, chaps.

Did you like this article? Why not steal it and put it on your own interwebblagsitedevice! It would be super if you'd link back to this original though. Better still, just link to it right here, or link to the He Wears Panties site, or demand that your local paper starts running columns like this one. Or nominate me for president of something. I'd like that. The power is yours!

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    • profile image

      GoneLycra 

      9 years ago

      Oops! Hit "Post" before I finished. Sorry.

      The upshot (upskirt?) is that once a man gets over all the hung-up hurdles and recognizes clothing qua clothing, nothing is "forbidden." A sports bra beats the dickens out of having one's Guymaries bouncing all over. Silk, satan and lace feel much nicer next to the skin than cotton or bunchy boxers.

      Eventually, we'll see those fabrics brought to market cut for men. The only downside right now with shopping for panties is the close attention we need to pay to gusset width. Flopping's downright uncomfortable, no matter how cute the panties.

    • profile image

      GoneLycra 

      9 years ago

      Hope,

      I've read a number of your hubs and found them most informative. In regard to this particular topic, the simple fact is that, in winter at least, tights and hose are a decidedly rational approach to underdressing in menswear. Much less bulk than long underwear and not nearly as stifling for someone who has to be both in- and outside.

      Additionally, you just can't get them on over boxers. Panties are almost de rigeur. Same for shaving the legs. Once one

    • profile image

      GoneLycra 

      9 years ago

      Hope,

      I've read a number of your hubs and found them most informative. In regard to this particular topic, the simple fact is that, in winter at least, tights and hose are a decidedly rational approach to underdressing in menswear. Much less bulk than long underwear and not nearly as stifling for someone who has to be both in- and outside.

      Additionally, you just can't get them on over boxers. Panties are almost de rigeur. Same for shaving the legs. Once

    • profile image

      mike 

      9 years ago

      while there is nothing like shaveing my legs then slipping on a fine pair of thigh highs on. the feel of my legs being massage along with the feel of my panties plus being hug gently by my bra. i love it. they my call us sissy men but they have no ideal what they are missing ouy on.

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