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Dissecting The Disheveled Man

Updated on April 1, 2010


I’ve always wanted to be one of those men who just tumble out of bed with my tousled hair, throw on my jeans with no underwear underneath, a wrinkled t-shirt and some flip flops and then off for the day. But I’ve never been that guy. It’s probably because I’m too prissy or care too much what people think I look like or a thousand other reasons I can think of which include that when I wake up in the morning I look more like the bride of Frankenstein than some devil may care dude so at the risk of not wanting to frighten children and adults alike, I go through the process of showering, shaving and placing every hair left on my remaining head just so. But when you run into one of the disheveled you just can’t help but be a little jealous that either they don’t care how they look or that they can pull that look off. Dissecting the disheveled man – Don’t Get Me Started!

I don’t know what it is about a five o’clock shadow but I’ve always been jealous of guys who get one and who work it. I remember as a kid thinking that Barney Rubble was hot. As I got older it shifted to the likes of George Michael and well, the list goes on and on. Having never been one of those men blessed with those kinds of beards, I get stubble but not in that dark way that helps make you look as though you’ve got great cheekbones and chiseled features that can normally only be achieved by cosmetic surgery or a great makeup artist. My five o’clock shadow is just some unsightly stubble looking something akin to a woman’s underarms that haven’t been shaved in a week.

It was at a Starbucks (where else) that I noticed him. I had all ready ordered my beverage and was waiting for it to be concocted when I noticed him step up to the counter. He ran a Columbo-type hand through his curly black and thinning in the front hair. You could tell by the way the hair was jutting into several different directions that he had woken up and thought that by just wetting it down that it would look presentable enough. It may have been okay from the front but he had obviously not checked out the back which gave the appearance of something between someone with wet bed head or what we used to lovingly refer to as the “just fucked look.” As he lifted his arm to pay for his coffee I noticed that the unbuttoned cuff of his shirt stuck out a good six or more inches from his suit jacket sleeve. A scan of his clothes proved that not only did the black of the jacket not exactly match the black of his pants (either because the pants had been washed or cleaned more than the jacket or that he had never really cared that they weren’t the same blacks to begin with, something I can’t even imagine but I guess good for him). His pants were also “pooling” over his unpolished black shoes, almost covering them so no need to have them polished I guess. As he struggled to order (he seemed to be ordering for someone else because he kept asking, “Is that even a drink?” after he gave each drink order) I couldn’t help but be a little jealous of this guy. He had none of the hang-ups I have of being accepted, presentable or crisp. He seemed completely comfortable in his wrinkled state and guess what? It worked for him. Now I’m not sure how well it would work if he had a big presentation that day but from a spotting him at Starbucks standpoint it worked.

The thing about the disheveled look is that for me, it’s only attractive, sexy, what have you if it comes in the form of the guy at Starbucks, it’s happening on its own, not because some stylist created it on some celebrity or some celebrity is doing it just to look cool or hot. Then it’s anything but cool or hot to me. No, if you’re using Bed Head products in your hair to created the unkempt day old hair look on your freshly washed hair placing every clump of hair just so or you’re purposely and purposefully tucking part of your t-shirt in your pants and letting the rest of it hang out then you won’t warrant anything but an eye roll from me. The disheveled look only works when like Barney Rubble, you don’t try to make it happen, it happens all on its own. The true disheveled look works in other ways too, by making gay men and straight women want to do one thing, take the guy home, clean him up, get him clothes that fit and take him under their wing like a Mama bird. The only problem with that is that sometimes when you clean them up you strip them of the original charm and hotness. On the other hand, if you don’t clean them up you can’t take them to any weddings or dressy functions. Maybe that’s why disheveled guys are a life accessory best worn in bed and for weekends, not for holiday dinners and corporate functions. But alas, like a good sunrise they’re beautiful to look at. Dissecting the disheveled man – Don’t Get Me Started!

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    • somelikeitscott profile image

      somelikeitscott 7 years ago from Las Vegas

      De Greek - thank you for your continued and vocal support. Maybe I'll become a real author someday after all with support from people like you! Thanks.

    • George J Hardy profile image

      George J Hardy 7 years ago from Southern New Jersey

      Makes me wonder if the outside package resembles the inside package despite the looks before or after.

    • De Greek profile image

      De Greek 7 years ago from UK

      I have left a reply to the comment you made at Website Examiner's but as it does not come up for general viewing, I am copying it here:


      Scott, thank you for commenting here so generously. Quite frankly, if anyone deserves praise from Examiner, it is you and it should have been you that he researched. I came across your hubs just recently, but I am already a devoted fun.

      Mutatis mutantis, as we beneficiaries of expensive educations like to put it, just as in the case of Examiner, thankfully you also hold no attractions for me and if you are a gay man it is none of my business. You are still a great talent in my book, so sexual preferences are no concern of mine.

      And I shall close before examiner obtains an injunction against me to evict me from his site..:-))


    • De Greek profile image

      De Greek 7 years ago from UK

      How funny and tallented you are. I am jealous of your tallent as you camnnot imagine and I have added you to my list of REAL authors in my last story. Well done :-)