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Men, It's Not A Big Deal If You Wear A Dress

Updated on October 19, 2009

So we're back here again, in a situation where I've written something which tells men who wear women's clothing to stop hiding mutely in dark corners and a few men reply to me telling me I don't understand how horrible it is to be a man who wears women's clothing and how their family's lives would be ruined by the public revelation.

To be blunt, get over yourselves. Men who wear women's clothes in public comment here all the time. If you go through the related articles, especially the ones about men wearing skirts, you'll see that there are numerous men who wear skirts as part of their daily attire. Overwhelmingly, most of them report that the people around them are supportive and friendly about it.

I understand fear of exposure, especially if you're really still somewhat ashamed and judging yourself for wearing women's clothing, but don't lead yourself to believe that your fears are based on reality, because in all likelihood, nobody cares that you want to wear women's clothing. A few idiots may laugh about it for a little bit, but these are the same idiots who would laugh at you no matter what you do.

The community of men who wear women's clothing is among the best I have seen at making excuses for itself. Seriously. Many men who wear dresses and skirts in private honestly think that their businesses, livelihoods and families will be destroyed if they wear women's clothing out in public. The notion that there might be a halfway point, a way that they can begin to incorporate women's attire into their normal male dress is beyond them. They wear heels and dresses at home and they skulk about in society, resenting the fact that they're not 'allowed' to wear women's clothing when the only people stopping them are themselves.

People are beginning to accept that men like to wear feminine things too. There are numerous articles popping up in the mainstream news about hose for men and skirts for men are all over the catwalks. It's now easier to wear women's clothing than ever before. If you don't want to go out in 'full dress' you can always wear a few choice items. Or you can resign yourself to being a closeted freak, hiding out in your house and dying slowly of the self imposed shame that you seem to relish.

If you live in some redneck backwater where you know for certain people would not accept you wearing a dress or any form of women's clothing, how about making plans to move? How about not supporting a status quo that represses you as a person and actually helping it to stay in place by meekly bowing down to it every day of your life until you eventually expire of misery and boredom?

It's a big world out there, and most people are far too busy worrying about their own affairs to worry about what you're doing. But, as Richard Bach once wrote, “Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours.”


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    • Tom Cornett profile image

      Tom Cornett 

      8 years ago from Ohio

      If they could make a maternity fleece dress and a purse that would hold a six pack...I'm in! :)

    • Hope Alexander profile imageAUTHOR

      Hope Alexander 

      8 years ago

      'Pushing the envelope off the cliff' - my new favorite saying!

    • Mortgagestar1 profile image


      8 years ago from Weirton,West Virginia

      Being of Scottish decent, a kilt is one thing. However, I am old school and subscribe to the traditional gender dress code. There are gender benders and there are people with dignity and self respect. The androgenous movement of the 1970's and since has cause many identity confusion from children to adults. We are a tolerant nation of lifestyles but pushing the envolope off the cliff isn't wise. There are peolple in Oregon pushing for an all nude rights, including at playgraounds and grade schools. Call me a prude or close minded, but I draw the line here. What was unaccepted decades ago is now pase' and the future may raise even more of an unihibited Ameraica.

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      Women's clothing comprises at least 3/4's of my everyday wardrobe. I don't own any men's underware so it's panties day in and out. In the summer, all of my shorts are from the ladies side of the store as are all of my shirts and tops. I wear women's slacks, blouses and sweaters as much as possible. . .and during the colder months pantyhose is a staple under my "right fit" pants and denim jeans. A stylish ladies jacket or coat completes the ensemble. To top it off, from time to time I'll even add a touch of makeup, lipstick and some stylish accessories. Nobody says a word and I don't try to hide the fact I'm a 6' 3" man dressed in stylish ladies clothing.

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      Society as a whole, has a lot of things to overcome and this is merely one of them. While I wouldn't say anything to the man wearing a skirt, etc., my first thought would probably be, "Oh, that's weird and a little odd. Wonder why he did that?" BUT, I then have to remember that it is THEIR choice, THEY are NOT hurting anyone, and THEY are not being destructive in anyway, shape, or form. The person is merely expressing themselves the best way they know how.

    • David H profile image

      David H 

      9 years ago from England

      I don't understand what the fear is exactly?

      Afraid of what? A piece of cotton that is shaped differently to pants?

      I personally found it easier when not attempting to pass as female but as a man in a skirt. I have done this several times in the summer, when the weather is warm enough.

      I am certainly NOT a closeted freak, as I have no shame in what I wear.

      I do not dictate what clothes others can wear. Neither do I let anyone dictate to me. The western world is supposed to be a free society right?

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      I enjoy the sneakier side of crossdressing, wearing women's jeans and slacks, shoes and T-shirts.

      I want to purchase a woman's shirt to match the left opening zipper on my slacks, but am a bit stymied about sizing ...

    • Hope Alexander profile imageAUTHOR

      Hope Alexander 

      9 years ago

      I was about to say that I certainly did not write the words 'closeted freak', but then I read the article again, and there they are. I meant this to refer to a man's self image, not the reality of men who wear women's clothing :D

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      well said hope i aggrea that the only ones stoping men from wearing skirts and dresses are the men themself's i use to think the same i use to be self employed and worked on large construction sites repairing mobile work platforms and when i decided to grow my hair i thought that i would get some rearly bad coments i use to just have it in a pony tail and no one ever said a thing later i use to have it in a braid then in a french braid and still no one ever said anything about it i have to admit i never turned upp in a skirt as it would not be allowed even for women who worked on the sites i did so i could not complain.

      a couple of times when i was working in office blocks i went in a skirt andno one ever said a thing.

      it was myself who use to stop me from wearing skirts ect not other people now i wear skirts as much as i like and now and then even a dress with no problems except for a couple of times in wallmart when the sales girl has tried to put me in the ladies changing rooms to try on a skirt and when i have told them i want the other side then they suddenly take a real look at me and try to appologise for the mistake.

      we need more men who will go out in skirts who are not affraid of wearing them and dont care what people say to them.

      with enough men wearing skirts or dresses it will become mainstream clothing for men again.

      regards paul

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      "Closeted Freak" is a bit harsh, don't ya think?

      I did almost fall out of the chair from laughing, though.

      Although the pink dress pictured might be a little much (I do live in the redneck backwater where that would not be accepted), probably 60% of my wardrobe comes from the ladies' side of the stores. I only wear women's jeans. Many of the tops I buy were made for women. I wear panties, stockings, ladies' socks and belts. I stay warm with women's scarves and hats in cold weather. I don't wear heels in public but I have a few pair of flats that I wear frequently. My most recent purchase was a pair of UGG Mafaire boots that I simply adore. My wife and I tend to shop together and if there seems to be an issue about me trying things on, I make a best guess. If it doesn't fit quite right when I get it home, it can simply be returned or exchanged. Usually though, most people are too wrapped up in their own world to care what you are doing so we shop and I dress they way I am most comfortable.

      Hope, Love Ya.


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