Eating Your Makeup

When will I learn? Once again, I thought I was making up something in my head. I was thinking of sweet sticky rainbow makeup. I was thinking of makeup that would be like candy. I was thinking of edible makeup. How silly, I thought. Then I looked it up. Someone actually created some edible makeup decades ago.

I thought there would be lawsuit problems due to the someone biting off someone’s ear—ala Mike Tyson. I was wrong. The lawsuits were over money. Celebrity Jessica Simpson associated herself with galaxy of delectable sounding cosmetics and was apparently not doing too badly when the lawsuits struck. Some of the names of companies and individuals involved in the various legal actions are quite colorful. Desert Beauty, Cosmojet, Mara Fox, Sephora, and Jessica Simpson. The lawsuits concerned the usual suspects: Accusations of non payment, non performance and goods not up to standard. You might think that cosmetics with names like love potion, creamy, juicy and luscious, the idea of edible makeup was a can’t miss. But in the case of the Jessica Simpson associated venture, it was not to be. Rumor has it that you can still find some of the products if you look hard enough. On Ebay I see something that looks like the icing you would put on top of a cake. However either the icing is shaped into objects that look like makeup and cosmetics or objects that look like the elements of a woman’s makeup kit are embedded in cake icing. I think you would have to be a teenager to love this.

As fascinating as Jessica Simpson’s fabulous edible toiletries were, there are still somethings in your kitchen cabinets and in your refrigerator we haven’t tried on your face yet. Thank God no has resorted to looking under the sink for cosmetics yet. Draino, Liquid Plumr and those aluminum scrubby thingies can’t be good for your complexion.

If you are going to consider putting something on your face, you need to do a lot of research and testing before doing so. Also, you have to go into it with a plan and a clear direction. Are you looking for moisturizers, exfoliants, astringents or some other product? What does your dermatologist say about putting whatever it is you are thinking about on your face? There are plenty of stories around about women who went to a third world country or to a friend of a friend of a friend down the street to get cheap cosmetic or even surgical improvements who spent the rest of their lives and all of their money trying to reverse the effects of something horrifying. Cheap isn’t always good. Fast and cheap does not work in many, many areas. Taking your time, asking a lot of questions, asking your doctor and testing on areas of skin that are not visible to others are generally prudent behaviors. A rule of thumb with experimenting with your own body is: If you are not sure don’t do it. And the old maxim that if it sounds too good to be true it probably is.

Some women say that eating avocados is good for you. Other prefer to mash up avocados and put the goop on their faces. You can find yummy sounding recipes for avocado and oatmeal or avocado and honey or even avocado and extra virgin olive oil masques for your face all over the web.

I did run across the very useful advise that everyone should be aware that if it turns out you are allergic to putting food on your face you will likely not like the results of putting food on your face so be sure to test the masques out on a portion of your body that the whole world cannot see.

Say what? Yes, there are some people who are recommending not only that you eat apples and even drink apple cider vinegar but also put in your face. I am not recommending this since vinegar contains a weak acid called acetic acid. If you aren’t particularly careful you could definitely have results that you don’t like. But while I cannot recommend it I have no problem talking about it!

People who recommend apple cider vinegar will often speak of diluting it and mixing with other substances such as honey or aloe.

I have seen at least one tasty looking face mask recipe that involved green apples, yogurt and honey. Not sure why you would put that on your face. I think I will eat it.

Some folks recommend smashing a ripe banana in your face. I think I prefer eating banana nut bread but to each his own. At least one website recommended that you not put a banana in your eyes. Oh and they also recommended mashing up the banana before you put it on your face but where’s the fun in that?

I have even seen where folks recommend you wear smashed bananas your head if you have a dry scalp and you want moisturize.

Depending on what you are trying to do to your scalp or skin, you may get recommendations to add lemon juice or eggs or honey. I think I would rather eat a lemon meringue pie.

Many of us have heard of pharmaceuticals that supposedly contain vitamin A. It should come as no surprise then that some grocery store face masques would contain rabbit food.

One recipe contains carrots, olive oil and honey. That reminds me, I love carrot cake!

Again the recipes vary widely according to what you are trying to do. The usual suspects put in an appearance. Yogurt, lemon juice, etc. You know, I think yogurt sprinkled with carrot shavings would not taste half bad. I kind of like the recipe that called for cooked carrots, oatmeal and honey. Sounds like breakfast!

Eggs come up a lot in recipes for food facials. Some folks recommend that you smear raw eggs all over your face.

Eggs go with just about everything else you will see in this hub depending on what you are trying to do. I think I saw one article that said use egg with oatmeal as an exfoliant.

One of the more exotic recipes spoke of using corn or wheat flour with an egg. Sounds more like bread to me.

Naturally some folks want you to eat grapes and use grape seed oil in cooking. So of course, somebody wants you to rub that stuff on your face as well.

Mint comes up now and then as a food facial ingredient. Some grape recipes mention mint with grape juice.

Given that we are using the grape juice, lemon juice comes along for the ride. Olive oil, milk and honey make an appearance in some recipes. Have you heard of grape pie? Sounds like we might be getting there. Not sure I would want raw grape pie on my face though. Sounds like a comedy sketch or, to some on the left, a political statement.

In the resource below the article entitled in part “ 30 benefits of grapes…” combines, in different combinations, at different times, almost any fruit you can think of with grapes.

As for grape seed oil, some recommend applying it directly to the skin as a moisturizer. Check with your dermatologist before trying this.

As though you weren’t sweet enough everybody wants to put honey on your face. I saw one recipe with honey and cinnamon. You can never get a good oatmeal when you need one!

Please use caution when you even think about using lemon juice on your face but there are some who claim to make a honey mask out of honey, sugar and lemon juice.

Some rub honey on the skin directly. You can find people recommending honey as a treatment for some skin problems because raw honey is reputed to have some antiseptic, antibiotic, anti-fugal and antibacterial powers.

Some say the seed of the jackfruit can be used on the skin. Preparation is required however. Apparently you are supposed to soak them in milk and honey and then grind the concoction before putting the paste on your face. Sounds a little adventurous to me. I won’t be eating this and I cannot seriously recommend that you put it on your face. Do a lot of research because this sounds exotic to me.

Apparently you may use kiwi fruit in facial of scrubs. Given the amount of vitamin C it contains the juice may be mildly acidic. As per usual recipes contain yogurt as well. As you peruse the kiwi recipes you will see all the usual suspects taken one by one depending on what it is you are trying to accomplish. Lemon juice, egg, avocado, banana, honey and olive oil.

Given the acidic nature of lemons it will surprise no one that some recommend lemon juice as an ingredient in facial scrubs and cleansers.

If you want to get a little sweet and sour action going on your face then some recommend a honey and lemon masque.

By the way, I saw at least one website that said you should run screaming in terror if anyone suggests you put lemon on your skin. As a male I don’t run around putting exotic stuff on my skin. However, given how acidic things like lemon juice and vinegar are I would not use them even if I did do kitchen facials. But to each his own. It’s easy to find tons of websites that rave about the many uses of lemon juice and apple cider vinegar. But then there are folks who do lots of stuff I would never do. Like running from the bulls in Pamplona for instance

I think mangoes are tasty and there is at least one hubster who wants to tell you how to put it on your face. Listed in the resources below.

Almond oil comes up pretty frequently in food facials and you can take a step without tripping over honey. And so it should surprise none that there are mango facials that include both. Sounds tasty!

It’s breakfast time again because I just saw various mango facials that involved milk and oatmeal.

People all over the internet are just dying to push your face down deep into the oatmeal. But don’t panic. It’s not a whole bowl full of oatmeal.

Applesauce, honey and oatmeal. Breakfast! No? Put in on your face?

At various times you are going to see yogurt, honey, lemon juice and even baking soda. Some of these exfoliants seem a little rough to me.

And again you will see the egg, almond and banana, depending on what part of breakfast you are trying to put on your face.

If you bring a papaya to the land of milk and honey you can get a facial out of it!

Depending on what you are trying to do you can use lime juice and even something called sandalwood powder. I am used to sandalwood in incense. I am not sure about putting it on your face and I ain't eating sandalwood neither.

Come to think of it, I will probably pass on the papaya altogether

http://www.bustle.com/articles/37714-whatever-happened-to-jessica-simpsons-dessert-beauty-line-a-bunch-of-lawsuits-apparently

http://www.wikihow.com/Make-a-Green-Apple-Face-Mask

http://www.stylecraze.com/articles/amazing-benefits-and-uses-of-using-banana-for-skin-and-hair/

http://www.wikihow.com/Nourish-Your-Face-Using-a-Banana

http://www.rd.com/slideshows/9-foods-to-smear-all-over-your-face/#slideshow=slidead8

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/09/24/beauty-benefits-of-bananas_n_3978471.html

http://greenlivingideas.com/2011/11/21/use-bananas-for-healthy-skin/

http://www.carrotmuseum.co.uk/skinbody.html

http://www.stylecraze.com/articles/benefits-of-carrots-for-skin-hair-and-health/

http://www.naturalities.com/blogs/naturalbeauty/7477698-diy-carrot-facial-masks-from-my-carrot-spa-day

http://makeupandbeauty.com/vitamin-a-carrot-and-honey-anti-ageing-face-mask-do-it-yourself/

http://nutankumarisinha.expertscolumn.com/article/30-beauty-benefits-grapes-how-use-grapes-your-beauty-applications

http://www.newhealthguide.org/Grapeseed-Oil-For-Skin.html

http://www.stylecraze.com/articles/benefits-of-jackfruit-seeds-for-skin-hair-and-health/

http://www.boldsky.com/health/nutrition/2014/amazing-health-benefits-of-jackfruit-seeds-039781-039786.html#slide38410

http://www.stylecraze.com/articles/face-packs-using-fuzzy-berry-kiwi-fruit/

http://healthmunsta.hubpages.com/hub/kiwi-face-mask

http://www.wikihow.com/Make-a-Lemon-Face-Cleanser

http://theeverygirl.com/feature/homemade-honey-lemon-face-mask

http://www.xovain.com/skin/4-diy-beauty-ingredients-to-avoid

http://healthmunsta.hubpages.com/hub/Mango-Face-Mask-Recipes

http://www.mnn.com/lifestyle/natural-beauty-fashion/blogs/3-mango-facemask-recipes

http://www.stylecraze.com/articles/mango-face-packs-that-work-wonders-for-your-skin/

http://www.wikihow.com/Make-an-Egg-Facial-Mask

http://www.livingthenourishedlife.com/2013/04/4-honey-face-masks

http://www.xovain.com/skin/3-ingredient-honey-face-mask-and-scrub

http://www.laurelofleaves.com/2011/09/honey-face-mask-for-clear-glowing-skin/

http://www.wikihow.com/Make-an-Egg-Facial-Mask

http://homemademasks.net/6-effective-skin-care-face-mask-egg-whites/

http://www.beautyandtips.com/masks/5-natural-facial-masks-with-the-use-of-an-egg/

http://multiculturalbeauty.about.com/od/Skincare/a/10-Oatmeal-Facial-Masks.htm

http://www.stylecraze.com/articles/4-papaya-face-pack-tutorials-with-pictures-and-steps/

http://www.webmd.com/beauty/face/papaya-double-mask-treatment

http://www.livestrong.com/article/87445-homemade-papaya-face-masks/