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Female Fashion Evolutions | Men Struggling In Skinny Jeans

Updated on July 7, 2009

Russel Brand, Fashion Rogue...

Skinny jeans, which have been plaguing the teenie fashion scene for the last year or so are making their way into men's fashion as well. Unfortunately, there are some minor problems with implementation, the largest problem being that they're almost impossible to move in.

Source

Women don't need to move of course, so the issue has never really arisen as the skinny jean has made its way through the echelons of female fashion. As everyone knows, women simply glide through life, moving their legs occasionally as a passing nod to Newton's laws. Men, on the other hand are tightly bound to the real world and the laws of physics and are therefore less prepared to slip themselves into an immobilizing denim prison.

Men tend to be more interested in practicality and comfort than in looking good because men have to fight fires and rescue kittens from trees, so this makes total sense to me at least.

Fashion equality is happening, we can see it on the catwalks, in the music videos and now, on the streets. As men begin to experience more of the fashion world once reserved for women, they begin to appreciate the challenges and indeed, the sheer amount of effort some women go to in order to embody the essence of fashion. The plucking, the waxing, the trimming. The creams, the lotions, the powders. The careful selection of clothing that pinches, squeezes, cuts off blood supply and restricts oxygen absorption.

This increased understanding could go one of two ways. It could lead to a swing in fashion, a swing towards men and women both enjoying an increased level of comfort in their clothing. Or, it could lead to a separate class of men and women, fashion masochists ready and willing to wear whatever it takes to look good. They could breed with one another, over time creating a strain of human being able to contort itself into any shape necessary for beauty with chameleon skin able to change tone and hue to suit the occasion. Sparkles for the night time, bronze tones for the day time. No hair growing anywhere on the body aside from the eyebrows, which grow in already plucked, and hair which is rich, glossy and able to withstand never ending coloring. A beautiful class of human unable to function in day to day life, but kept pampered in fashion zoos, where they can be misted down with rose water twice daily and observed by the general public as they groom one another.

I can't wait for the future.

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    • Komara profile image

      Komara 

      9 years ago

      I lOVE skinny jeans!

    • Misha profile image

      Misha 

      9 years ago from DC Area

      Bummer! Well, till next time then :)

    • Hope Alexander profile imageAUTHOR

      Hope Alexander 

      9 years ago

      Thank you Misha, you are too kind, unfortunately my boyfriend and I don't have an open relationship... foiled again!

    • Misha profile image

      Misha 

      9 years ago from DC Area

      Rilly? Umm, guess I forgot about that. ;) Though we have open relationship, so you can always join for a while ;)

    • Hope Alexander profile imageAUTHOR

      Hope Alexander 

      9 years ago

      Misha, need I remind you, once again, that you are a married man? >:) *head shake*

    • Misha profile image

      Misha 

      9 years ago from DC Area

      Umm, chasing around sound like fun, at least when it ends in a foreplay. Would you, Hope? ;)

    • fortunerep profile image

      fortunerep 

      9 years ago from North Carolina

      Men in skinny jean, what a scary thought actually! lol

      dori

    • Hope Alexander profile imageAUTHOR

      Hope Alexander 

      9 years ago

      Hm, maybe we need to organize some people to chase you around with a stick for a bit.. or maybe some panties?

    • Misha profile image

      Misha 

      9 years ago from DC Area

      With my tummy? :O :D

      Thank you Hope, but i can't see my appendage without a mirror any more... :(

    • Hope Alexander profile imageAUTHOR

      Hope Alexander 

      9 years ago

      But you'd look so dapper, Misha :)

    • Misha profile image

      Misha 

      9 years ago from DC Area

      Nooo, you don't force me to wear those :D

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