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Goatees Are Sexy

Updated on August 19, 2009

Facial hair styles can actually be somewhat confusing. When you hear the word goatee, most of you will probably picture one of the styles listed in this article. In reality, these are combination styles; the goatee is just that bearded part of the chin (um, think goat) and then here you see it combined with a stache. And maybe a soul patch, or something else. Therefore, if you're a goatee/facial hair expert, don't get your knickers in a twist over the terminology! We're using modern lingo here, and most of the world considers the whole thing to be the goatee these days.

Speaking of which, the goatee is a pretty sexy thing on most men, as long as it's a well-groomed goatee. Certainly, there are some cases where a goatee doesn't look as good as it could, but, for the most part, the average man looks pretty hawt with one. Which is why I have to wonder why more men don't wear them. Or at least try them out for period of time. Today we're going to look at a few styles on various celeb hotties and discuss which look best.

Orlando Bloom

I'd imagine most of you have seen pics of him with a goatee, since he seems to favor one. He also happens to look absolutely fabulous with it -- this kid should be the poster boy for goatees. I mean, does that not remind of you Errol Flynn... but even sexier? Notice the style he wears isn't fully connected and is rather thin in places. The stache doesn't touch the chin-fuzz, and that soul-patch stripe between his lower lip and chin just makes a girl tingle all over. Honestly, Orlando Bloom has the best looking goatee I have ever seen. Also notice that the hair is long enough to be SOFT, as opposed to jutting out like a prickly pear. Sooooo important when it comes to certain skills in the bedroom, gentleman.

Christian Bale

This man can whisk me away to the bat cave any time he likes. Gorgeous Christian Bale often sports a goatee as well, and the style isn't all that dissimilar to Bloom's. As you can see, the stache doesn't touch the part around his chin, but Bale's chin fuzz does creep up more than Bloom's does. You'll also notice he doesn't have the stripe, and I think that's probably for the best, as not everyone could pull that off. He does appear to have a small soul patch, though. Regardless, the man looks perfect. I'm not really sure how long the fuzz is... it just might be painful at that length. But I can't really say that I care in this case -- that's Christian Bale, for God's sake!

Gary Oldman

If you remember him as Dracula, you know how sexy this man can be. I have been crushing on Gary Oldman since I was a teenager, and he looks pretty hot for 50, doesn't he? It's rumored that he intends to retire from acting very soon, if you can believe it. I will be very sad indeed, if that happens -- he's just too brilliant! And sexy, too; take a look at that pic.

Here you see the goatee with stache and beard fully connected, and little or nothing else to be seen. The hair is a bit scruffier and less manicured, but it works on him.

Edward Norton

Ed Norton, one of the gorgeous men on my Sexiest American Men list, has a baby face. Even in his late 30s, he still looks quite young. This is a very good example of a man whose sex appeal increases exponentially when he sports a goatee. Not the kind he wore in the Illusionist; I'm talking more like that photo you see below. Notice how his eyes stand out? Notice how your attention is drawn to his mouth -- which happens to look extremely kissable? That's all thanks to the goatee. Of course, he's hot sans facial fair too.. I just love to see him like this.

Brad Pitt

Lastly.... here's my example of a man who doesn't look so hot with a goatee. Brad Pitt is ridiculously beautiful without facial hair; why he felt the need to grow this thing is beyond me. When you look that good naturally, you should just let things be. I've seen a lot of gossip rags praising him for it and I have no idea why. Hopefully the goatee is just for a movie role, and hopefully he'll be getting rid of it soon. Personally, I think it ages him a good decade.

And, is it just me, or does he somehow look like Patch Johnson's long lost brother??


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