A Little Too Comfy with Frumpy?
As an over-40 woman, I am at that point in my life were I am very comfortable with who I am. I'm not afraid to express myself and I feel comfortable in my skin. But, am I too comfortable?
I've started to notice that I take less time to get dressed or ready for work. When did that happen?
I have taken less interest in style or fashion. Why?
I feel that if you dress frumpy, you begin to feel frumpy. If you feel frumpy, you start to act frumpy. When you act frumpy, it will show in your attitude, your work, your writing, and your relationships.
I think I've gotten way too comfy with frumpy and I think it's time to stop. I thought I'd share my observations with you in hopes that you might avoid becoming frumpy.
Let's Assess the Situation
What is 'frumpy'? According to the Urban Dictionary, "frumpy" is defined as:
1)A female with lack of concern for appearance. Often characterized by sweatpants, frizzy hair, gramma panties and a pasty complexion
2)clothing style that usually consists of bagging, careless slothing i.e. sweatpants, large baggy t-shirts, sweatshirts, etc.
If you're like me, you have several really comfy big t-shirts to choose from that you slip into when you get home. Maybe you round it off with some baggy shorts or sweatpants. I know, we convince ourselves that we should consider comfort over fashion especially behind the confines of our own home. Perhaps that's true.
For me, I think the big shirts and baggie shorts keep me a prisoner in a frumpy attitude of unmotivated, unkempt sluggishness that keeps me from performing at my best. I can't imagine it turns my husband on much either.
Time to go through all my clothes.
First, I'm going through all my dresser drawers and closets and clean out m clothes, shoes and accessories. This is the criteria I'm using:
- Keep only what is comfortable, up-to-date, and makes me feel good to wear it.
- If something needs mending decide if it's worth mending. If it is, put it in a box to set aside for mending later. If it's not, then donate it or throw it away
- For work clothes, how would I feel if I were to be introduced to someone important while wearing it? Would I be embarrassed? If so, can it be transferred to casual at-home wear?
- For at-home wear, how would I feel it some one knocked at the door unannounced while I was wearing it? Would I answer the door in it?
- Shoes-do they fit? Are the soles still good? Are they in style? Are they comfortable?
- Purses-would I tote this purse while wearing a new outfit? If not, donate it or discard it.
- Scarves, belts, etc. Are they still in style?
In evaluating my make-up:
- I'm throwing out anything that has been around for more than 6 months.
- I'm steering away from glittery or shimmering eye-shadows such as frosts.
- I'm throwing out powder foundations since liquid or cream foundations are better able to fill in the small wrinkle lines.
As a kid, my hair never seemed to grow. It wasn't until I hit 40 that I could suddenly grow long hair. I enjoyed being able to do that for the first time. But, I soon realized it was a lot of work and I hate hair in my face. In 2007, I opted for a hairstyle makeover and shortened the length a good 6-8 inches. In the last couple of months I've shortened it some more and colored my hair for the first time in my life.
I had always put off coloring my hair because I knew that once you started that, you have to keep it up. I just wasn't ready for that kind of commitment. I've really been pleased with how long this coloring has lasted.
My advice is to look around online for style you like. I cut and pasted photos onto one sheet and carried that in to the hairdresser to give them a better idea of the look I was after. Don't be afraid to try something new and daring.
As I take this time to upgrade my look, I hope I have encouraged you to take a look at what areas you might be able to improve upon. I don't we realize how it affects other aspects of our self-esteem and our reactions to the world around us.
I have located a number of excellent resources I'd love for you to check out. The links below contain so much good information. I hope you enjoy them.
UPDATE : This hub really has surpised me. I didn't expect this to be as big a topic as it has turned out to be. I'm very pleased with that. At this point I feel the need to clarify one of the reasons I personally want to improve the way I look that I haven't previously included. I will place a comment below and you'll know that any comments above that one did not have a chance to read this portion at the time they commented.
In October 2008, when I joined HubPages, I really didn't see myself as a serious writer. I wanted to be a writer. I had started a book even. But, at the urging of a creative writing teacher, I joined HubPages to practice my writing skills. Right at 100 hubs later (some I deleted along the way), I finally see myself as a writer. I ask myself if the way I dress is how a writer would dress. If I were a published writer (and I know many of you already are, but I'm not) would I still wear what I wear? Would I continue to go out the way I go out now? Would I want people to recognize me and see me dressed the way I'm dressed. For me, I think I need to think more highly of myself and start dressing the part. This is my opinion of what I should do. I'm not talking about becoming someone I'm not. I'm talking about becoming someone I know I am and have yet to express it properly.
In a nutshell, it's all in how you feel. If you feel good in whatever you're wearing, then you're wearing the right thing, and I would never recommend you stop.
- Women over 40 - Fashion
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- Fashion Over 40
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