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Helping Men In Lingerie: Your Comments Count

Updated on October 13, 2009

A great deal of the men who read these articles are quite comfortable with the fact that they like to wear women's lingerie, and a great deal of those men make comments and share tips and secrets, and that's really great. I'm betting that most men who wear lingerie who leave comments here with their experiences with wearing women's lingerie, good or bad, don't really stop to think about what those comments do.

Believe it or not, you commenters are very helpful in aiding other men who want to wear women's lingerie come to terms with it. Being a female, I can write from my perspective and be encouraging about the subject of men in panties and bras and what not, but there is much to be gained when men with experience in the field add their voices to the mix.

Some men who like to wear women's panties never realize that there are other men out there who feel the same way. I would even go so far as to say that before the inception and widespread use of the Internet, many men spent lifetimes in isolation, thinking that they were freaks for wanting to put on a bra. Nowadays it is easy to use a search engine and very quickly find communities and articles on the subject.

In spite of this fact, it can still be pretty difficult for a man to come to terms with his desire to wear lingerie. Men are subjected to some pretty heavy expectations associated with their gender. They are expected to be strong, and brave, to run into burning buildings when needed, and to be able to hunt and kill their own game. Men should be martial arts experts, and be ready with a witty riposte when evil terrorists tie them up and lower them slowly into a vat of acid. Being a man living up to society's expectations of manliness a la Hollywood especially is almost impossible.

For a man to want to wear women's lingerie breaks all the molds that society has imposed on men. There has yet to be an action hero who wore a pink satin thong whilst blasting through evil doers with an oversized penile replacement gun.

Of course, real people are not two dimensional characters, but still, for a man, the realization that he wants to wear a pair of panties, or some stockings, or some other item of lingerie can be quite a blow to his masculine identity. It can often lead to him trying to reject the desires, which, of course, only makes them stronger. In extreme cases it can even lead to a kind of self loathing, which is sad, because there is no need for it. There are plenty of strong, honorable, masculine and entirely heterosexual men who enjoy wearing women's lingerie.

Some men who wear lingerie also go on to wear dresses and shoes and things of that nature, but many men don't. For many men the fascination begins and ends with panties or bras or stockings, whatever their penchant is. So keep sharing your stories guys, because hearing that other men are happily married and living full and normal lives as well as occasionally wearing lingerie can make all the difference for those struggling with their lingerie desires.


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      tactilicious 8 years ago

      Lots af good comments.

      It's mostly panties, pantyhose, and tights for me, with the odd nightgown. It took me a while to get into lace, now I prefer panties with lace sides. I find the women's lingerie goes well with my tactility, gosh, it just feels wonderful to wear! Men have somehow evolved into being encouraged to wear such utilitarian clothing, surely it is okay for your clothes to feel great.

      Liked Gr8legs tale, especially his mantra. It is so hard to get people past theirfaulty assumptions.

    • Hope Alexander profile image

      Hope Alexander 8 years ago

      That's great to hear, Gr8 legs! I'm glad you're finding happiness in your panties :D

    • Gr8legs profile image

      Gr8legs 8 years ago

      Hope, you and your articles are a great source of both hope & inspiration for all of the men out there who, like myself have felt guilt and shame about our penchants and proclivities.

      Having split from my wife of nearly fifteen years (who at first embraced then merely tolerated my love of silky slips & stockings/tights) at her behest, I recently began dating a lady whom I really liked and, having been inspired and strengthened by your articles, I decided to tell her about my lingerie love during our fourth date. I was nervous as hell and she sensed that I had something on my mind, so kept asking me what was wrong. When I got myself pulled together enough to tell her "D******, there'ssomething I need to tell you, I am a man who likes wearing lingerie". Her reaction was "Oh, is that all? I thought you were going to tell me you were seeing someone else". I then showed her the following statement I had put together a few weeks ago (a kind of mantra for myself to try & stop the guilt I felt for my love of lingerie).

      This I wrote as a result of reading your Hub articles:

      ABOUT ME

      • I am a 100% straight man, who has never entertained a homosexual thought in his life.

      • I have gay and straight friends of both sexes.

      • I like wearing silky lingerie, I love the way it feels against my body.

      • I have no sense of gender dysphoria; I am a masculine man who loves being a man and engages in “manly” activities (watching/playing football, drinking beer, working out in the gym, admiring the female form in all its many glorious manifestations)

      • I also like wearing soft, silky lingerie. Does this make me any less of a man? Does this make me a danger to society? Is this a reason for me to be ostracised by society and classified as a “weirdo”?

      • Historically, both skirts and hosiery were everyday items of male attire. Indeed, the Pope’s personal Bodyguards – The Swiss Guard – wear both and no-one questions it.

      So, why should I have to fear the derision of narrow-minded bigots who need to overcome their own sense of inadequacy by belittling others for having proclivities and tastes that they perceive to be “abnormal”?

      She gave me a huge hug, called me a big softy and said that it didn't bother her one little bit. I took off my T-shirt to reveal the silky cami top I was wearing underneath (we were in my apartment) and later that evening we made love with me wearing the same cami with soft, gloss Italia tights and a silky "cammo" thong.

      Later that night she learned that one advantage of dating a "panty boy" is that, when your own panties are not wearable, you can borrow a pair of his :)

      Shs has said that on her next visit, she wants a full tour of my lingerie drawer. As someone who has felt guilty and ashamed bout this for nearly forty years, you really can't ask for more than that.

      Hope, for giving to all of those "Lingerie Wearing Men" out there support, reassurance, optimism, encouragement and a sense of belief, may I offer you the sincerest thanks.

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      Erika 8 years ago

      I have been wearing lingere for about 3 years, this is the first time i have seen this post and its great!!!! I still don't have the courage to get fitted for a bra but this is starting to change that.I feel good wearing panties to work and all day longi wore a bra once, felt good but got scared about peoples reaction so i hav'nt wore one to work since, i wear bra's when i get home and i love it!!! Panties all the time . What about to the doctors? anyone have a problem with that?

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      charles 8 years ago

      i wear pantys 24/7 and also like te wear womens jeans and shirts. I constantly wear these items to work and wear panty hose also. i also have long hair and wear it in a pony tail.

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      SteveH 8 years ago

      If 1/3 of lingerie is bought by men for spouse/GF, then wouldn't it be correct to assume that women have 1/3 of their lingerie bought for them. If a poll was conducted asking all women how much lingerie they receive as a gift vs buy themselves,I feel that the percentage would be a very small percentage of lingerie purchased by men end up as a womans gift...Makes you think just how big this may really be!!!

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      Sara 8 years ago

      When I discovered my husband liked to wear women's clothes, I was very upset. That was 12 years ago. I've grown to accept it and even enjoy it. At first I felt a little lesbianish reaching my hand under his skirt but now it's just normal. I wouldn't trade him or his wardrobe for anyone.

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      iwhcpanties 8 years ago

      I love it, I am not alone in this world of panties!

    • Mary Mac profile image

      Mary Mac 8 years ago from Victoria Australia

      I loved wearing my mothers panties and slips since time began and thought as I got older I would turn into a girl and thought I was the only one. However, as time went by and many upsets and seeing an add about a society who helped crossdressers, then with computers there are many sites to enlighten one. However, you Hope, a woman explaiming your feelings help explain why women love lingerie too.

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      Bashful 8 years ago

      I just discovered these blogs in the past two days and have been reading all of them. I've been wearing lingerie off and on for years. I started wearing lingerie when I was about 12. I'd wear lingerie, mainly panties, garters and stockings for a while and then get to feeling like I was a freak stop. I'm now 55 and in one of those "on" times. I've been wearing lingerie for two years now. I started shaving my legs and my wife doesn't like it. She doesn't know about the lingerie, just that I've been shaving my legs and underarms. She doesn't mind me shaving my underarms and will even remind me to shave it I let it go too long. I've expanded to wearing skirts, bras and pumps which I would never do in the past. I wish that I could tell my wife without her freaking out which I know she would do. I guess I'll just keep "in the closet" with it for now.

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      Robert c.c. mass 8 years ago

      Wear panties 7/24, wife buys them for me, she does not want me buying my own. ok with me, every morning she passes her warm, worn silky's to me. this has been for maybe 15 years, just recently I bought a couple of bras (for me) 40 n/b which I wear every day, for an hour or two. I change before going to work part time. love wearing my bras. and of course my panties, Once you wear them your hooked

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      Jeknowme 8 years ago

      I too have found great satisfaction in wearing 'womens' lingerie and clothing and it has been a part of me all my life. Outwardly very masculine with an a very feminine inner self. Starting in the womb at conception the gender transformation to maleness was incomplete/interrupted and the female percentage remains and as such demands recognition which 'she' does through the clothes I wear, 'she' will not change. Neither will any of us in a similar situation, it's good to hear I am not alone/a freak, really we are very normal and understandable under the circumstances, there is still much to learn.

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      Michael 8 years ago

      Those articles are really great! I have read a few of them and find out that I'm not the only man who likes to wear women's lengerie. My favorite lengerie as in now is the stockings. I love the way it feels on my legs, it's just wonderful! I'm wearing an Opaque Lacey Back Stay Up Stockings right now and it's very comfortable and very sexy.

      I think men should wear women's lengerie, I'm straight and there are thousands of straight men who likes to wear women's lengerie, so, why not wear a pair of stockings with a garter belt and a thong?

    • profile image

      KT 8 years ago

      I wear panties all the time and love the feeling. I feel why should not men wear panties after all females have been wear mans clothes for a long time and no one says anything

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      ed 8 years ago

      i wear panties all the time. they are so comfortable. i like to wear the ones with lace. it makes me feel so good. my wife gave me some of hers to wear and i got hooked into wearing them i never wear mens anymore.

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      satinpanties 9 years ago

      I have been wearing panties for about 25 years and am much more comfortable in panties than in "mens underwear" The fit and feel is great and I feel very sexy all day long. Recently, I started to wear some stockings (once in a while) with a garter of some sort. I cannot believe the sexy feeling wearing panties, stockings, and a garter out in public and having nobody really know. Mostly I order through victorias secret online but called yesterday to place an order and the sales woman and I had about a 20 minute conversation about men wearing lingerie! It is much more common than one might think.

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      Straight Male 9 years ago

      Love panties and tights for years now. Wife does not seem to mind. I just don't over do it.

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      tight thongs 9 years ago

      I saw a thong for sale at Wmart with the most amazing design, I bought it. That night getting undressed for bed I said to the wife, "look", as I removed my jeans. She sqealed with delight and it's been several years of lingerie loving in our house ever since.

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      jeff 9 years ago

      well i have been wearing panties for over a year and a half and wife does not mind at all i have pink, white, blue so some good colors. i consider myself to be a lucky guy wife also does not care i wear babydoll nighties i sleep so good in nighties and they feel fantastic and she does not mind so iam a happy man. guys if your wife is open to this go for it you will feel fantastic in a camisole or in my case a babydoll nightie. looks great and feels fantastic.

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      Petrana 9 years ago

      I started with my baby sitter trying her panties on me when I was 10-12. I used to cringe when I bought panties at the store--60 years ago!! now I let the clerk know that theyare for me--older ones look scornfully at me and the younger ones smile!!

      I wear 24/7--wife tolerates it.

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      david 9 years ago

      I just went and bought some more panties today. I bought some from Victorias Secret and everyone there was nice and very helpful. I then went to Sears (since they're the only ones who sell Olga panties) and the women working in that department saw me and were trying not to laugh out loud. Didn't matter to me though.

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      pete45 9 years ago

      I've been wearing panties full time for the last ywo years (the desire goes way back). Hipsters are my favorite. Used to buy them for my wife, but wore them whenever I could. Vanity fair used to have a great line, but have discontinued it. A couple of years ago I discovered adonna by JC Penny. Not as nice as VF but I was happy with them. Now they are discontinued. Any sugestions?

    • robin48 profile image

      robin48 9 years ago

      I love wearing a half slip with cami.

      pantiesare so comfy...

      I also enjoy a short skirt..

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      lingerielover 9 years ago

      Wemiva, I know what you mean. Although almost one third of all lingerie is bought by men (usually for their women or girlfriends) as one saleslady in a lingerie shop told me, a man in a lingerie shop still gets some looks from female customers. When I bought some pairs of pantyhose in different sizes (for me and my wife) the saleslady told me about the sizes. When I told her the bigger ones are for me she only said that a lot of men do that. It took me some time to find the courage to buy an obg for me. It was completely natural that I could try it on after the saleslady had taken my measurements. I think they know that a lot of men wear lingerie.

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      steve 9 years ago

      wife has dressed me in a bodystocking many times. we both enjoy

    • Wemiva profile image

      Wemiva 9 years ago

      I love to go to the department stores and shop for nylon panties and nylons. Every woman I have run into, in the Lingerie Department, usually smiles at me and looks at my selection of assorted undergarments. Either they are impressed with a man shopping for lingerie or they are on to me. When i first started buying my own panties and what-nots, it was a little scary, but the more I did it, the easier it got. Now, it doesn't even bother me. I love it. If a salesperson asks if I need help, I have become completly comfortable with discussing what I am looking for. No one has asked me if the panties or pantyhose are for me, but the day they do, I will answer with a resounding, "Yes!"

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      lingerielover 9 years ago

      Charlie, couldn´t agree more. For me too, girdles and allinones are very comfortable. After a long day at the desk or in the car I feel the support my girdle give me. I mostly wear an obg because I love the feeling of stockings on my legs. I don´t know why I tried a bra as a young boy for the first time. But I´m faszinated ever since. Even if I get some curious looks sometimes I love to wear my bra.

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      lingerielover 9 years ago

      Charlie, you are right. I´m wearing girdles - mostly obg with stockings - for more than 20 years. I feel well in it and my clothes fit much better. And during long days at the desk or in the car I appreciate the support a proper girdle gives to my back.

      Buying a girdle as a male is no problem. I prefer small oldfashioned stores where you get proper counseling and I can try. The sales people are very helpfull. They know that a lot of man buy lingerie and girdles for themselves.

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      PLEASED-N-PANTIES 9 years ago

      I have always loved to be with a women that is wearing intimately feminine nylon.satin and lace bra and panties. It makes her that much more desirable.I found out a long time ago wearing intimately feminine panties in satin and lace not only is extremely comfortable and sensually feeling but it has made me realize the importance and the sensitivity of women wanting to be feminine revealing.In doing it has only increased my natural desire to be with that feminine women and not some plain jane cotton pantie and bra turn off.Once you try it you won't go back to men's wear.Also there are sites on the internet and e-bay that will provide you with a great selection of hand/custom made panties from the vintage style panties to sissy satin and frilly lace panties in all styles.Wearing and enjoying satin and lace panties does not make you a lesser man but the opposite because it takes a real man to take a stand on what he wants. I also can tell you that for me personally I been told more times than not by the women in my life that it is a direct turn on to them knowing that I am wearing feminine revealing panties. Besides why is it that wearing nylon satin or lace underwear is for women only.The terminology of wearing underwear or panties {a femine term used for women's underwear}The bottom line is it is underwear. The type of fabric used is not selective to gender.Neither is the spectrum of colors. My personal favorite for my women or myself is a frilly lace pink satin pantie. Wearing such underwear does not lessen the masculine character of a normal man.

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      charlie 9 years ago

      i love to wear panties and girdles i wear them all the timei feel naked with out a girdle on. i wear a allinone girdle to work.helps the backout.weman stare at me when i shop for lingerie. some will ask if it for me and tell them yes it is. i fined panties and girdles very comforble to wear.

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      Just Me 9 years ago

      Maybe I should have posted this here first:

      I have been wearing bras SO long that I actually feel more self concious "not" wearing one than when I am (little too much jiggle). Fortunately for me, in a manner of speaking I am a full augmentaion. I do feel that since I have been wearing a "good" bra for so long that I have helped shape my breast. (Thanks Bali) My wife highly recomended Bali by the way. As far as panties, well DUH!!! lol

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      nylon panties 9 years ago

      I have to agree with lingerielover....Many years ago while shopping for panties at a Macy's Dept store I noticed that a Hispanic woman kept looking at me as I looked at various panties. She finally approached the panty rack that I was at and said to me "My, you sure are brave". I didn't know what to say so I simply smiled at her and said "Hi". I was the only male in the lingerie dept.

      Most recently, while at a Mervyn's Dept store, I was at a "panty table" looking to add the to the 4 pairs of panties I had collected from various racks and tables, when this gal walks right up to me and starts to look and touch the panties I was looking at. I casually walked over to another table only to have her follow me. She never said a word but all the time she was LOOKING at ME and not the panties that she was touching. Later, after geting home, I had wished that I asked her..."What do you think of guy's that like to wear panties?" Well, maybe next time.

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      lingerielover 9 years ago

      I know what you mean. I tried to give up too, but at the end of the day, I started all over again. Now I wear lingerie fulltime and do feel well in it. And I very much enjoy browsing throught the lingerie department to see new things. I think everyone has to decide for himself whether he wants to wear lingerie or not. In the beginning there are lots of doubts, like: what will others say? How will they react? My answer is simple. Be ashured of yourself. Then you will no longer think about others. And the more often you do it the more easy it becomes. I no longer care if someone might be aware of my brastraps under my shirt. Wearing lingerie, garter belt and stockings make me feel so much better. So go out and enjoy your lingerie.

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      ILoveLingerie 9 years ago

      yeah, I tried to stop my desires for lingerie once and threw my pretty lingerie away, but my desire only grew stronger and now I have more lingerie than ever before^^

      I'm through with guilt and I will never throw my pretty underwear away again.

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      likewhatiam 9 years ago

      All I can say is thank the good Lord for bringing you into this world and for giving you the foresight that men also love the finer things in life and don't always want to be a neanderthals. I speak from a personal point of view as a heterosexual male that I have the rite to wear whatever makes me happy and comfortable.I like my panties and other lingerie with a bit of lace and all nylon or silk.I live for the day when men can wear whatever they want the same as woman do.

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      David 9 years ago

      Yo hope, Your Hubs have helped to break out of my lingerie paradigm. I would always buy panties that weren't lacy or pink. The same with bras , no lace and either white or black. Well, you inspired me to expand my horizons. I got a wonder bra with lace accents and a pair of mating boy shorts. They fit and feel great. I always though lace would be uncomfortable but I was wrong. And yes as Leah and my wife say, "you are a bad influence" but don't change.

    • LatexLeah profile image

      LatexLeah 9 years ago

      You are a bad influence! LOL!

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      Alicia Soprano 9 years ago

      You are the greatest for helping so many boys and men understand that they arn't alone. This is great link you will enjoy on the subject: