High Heel Shoes & The Women (and Men) Who Love Them
Pretty woman, walking down the street
Pretty woman, the kind I like to meet
I don't believe you, you're not the truth
No one could look as good as you
Just for sheer speculatory purposes...what do you think that woman was wearing on her feet? Do you think she was wearing a pair of Converse Allstars? How about a pair of overpriced Rainbow flipflops? Plug ugly Birkenstocks? Ballet flats? Dr. Scholl's? Neon green Crocs?
BEEEEP! Time's up! Ten to one, that woman was wearing a pair of sky scraping, eye popping, bring a man to his knees pair of high heels, at least three inchers I'm guessing, maybe more.
They're Only Shoes, Right?
As a woman who shot up to 5'9" tall by the time I was 13, I can tell you I spent a lot of my high school years slumping. The closest I got to wearing high heels was the buffalo sandal fad that swept through my high school. Those weren't really high heels, though, not in the true sense of the word.
I didn't really discover high heels until my 5'8'''' college boyfriend told me he adored tall, blonde women and I should wear heels as often as possible. You look like a model in them, he said. Well, heck, bring on the freakin' high heels then! And he did, he bought me lovely macrame 5 inch heels that laced around the ankle, chocolate brown suede pumps with 4 inch heels, black satin Candies with a very sexy ankle strap. Ahhh...the fun I had in those shoes!
Bringing Sexy Back?
A lot of people credit the show "Sex & The City" for bringing back the high heel...bringing it back?? When did it ever leave? Oh sure, those snooty chicks in their expensive Jimmy Choo's didn't hurt the high heel industry by any means, but just the same, the high heel has never left. A little history if you will...
Not so shockingly, those trend-setting Egyptians were credited with wearing the first known high heels in 3500 B.C. I'd put money on it being Cleopatra, that was one stylin' babe. She was also way ahead of her time with the kohl she used to line her eyes and those sheer dresses she hung around the pyramid in...the forebearer of the see-through blouse. Those sexy high heels made her "Walk Like An Egyptian" so much better, don't you think? Or at least Caesar thought so.
Shoes For The Idle Rich
Throughout history, high heels have been associated with the upper class. Where do you think the term "well heeled" came from? However, high heels have also been associated with folks a little less well heeled. As early as Roman times, prostitutes wore high heels as their calling card. Had to do something to liven up that toga dress, I guess. Evidently Rome was the Vegas of early civilization, since prostitution was legal.
I Wanna Put On My, My, My Boogie Shoes (and boogie with you)
But why would high heels be linked with prostitution? Well, duh, have you ever seen a woman, that is one who's capable of actually walking properly in a pair of high heels, striding down the street, confident, hair blowing in the breeze. Notice her steps, her stride is shorter, her tummy is tucked in, her legs look longer and leaner, her rear end is higher and juts out because of the angle in which her body is thrown by the high heels. Can any man alive, correction, any straight man alive, not look at a woman in a pair of heels and not instantly think of sex? Hey, don't be ashamed, it's part of your DNA, we get that. And don't blame us as women if we take full advantage of that knowledge.
A Little Rain Must Fall
Like everything wonderful in life, there's always a drawback. With high heels, it's foot pain and back pain. Orthopedists and podiatrists preach the evils of high heels, but I'll bet the males in these two professions heads swivel whenever a woman in heels walks by just like the rest of the male population's. Those grumpy old fun spoilers say heels can lead to bunions, falls, knee problems, and ...gasp...the dreaded hammertoe.
I say, what happens, happens. If I want to break my hip in my old age, let me do it in a fabulous pair of Guccis or Fendis. I hear they don't put shoes on people when they dress them for burial. I guess they figure where you're walking, you won't need shoes. I'm gonna leave strict instructions that I'm buried with shoes on, pedicure intact.
And make sure to bury me with those peep toes facing up. I feel closer to heaven that way.