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Hilary Swank's Athleisure Fashion Line

Updated on December 25, 2010
This is Hilary Swank.
This is Hilary Swank.

Studios should just start handing out fashion lines with contracts for lead roles in major motion pictures, it would cut out the middle man and guarantee a steady celebrity inspired series of aspirational clothing lines for the paupers of the world to buy. If I sound cynical and bitter, it's because I am. Clothes will do that to a woman eventually you know. They're like the one ring, except there's more of them and cosmetics hide the fact that you turned into Smeagol five years ago.

Swank will be working with DMA developing athletic apparel, no, more than that, they're creating an entirely new form of clothing entirely. It's not athletic clothing, it's not leisure clothing, it's a combination of the two. That is to say, apparel that looks vaguely athletic, but which will pass muster in your day to day life, and not in the way that you think sweatpants are okay either. This will probably be clothing that you won't be thrown out of Wal Mart for wearing, but it won't be clothing you can go to a nice restaurant in. It will probably be worn by people who severely overestimate their athletic ability and believe that elastic waistbands are the way forward.

The idea for the fashion line grew out of Hilary Swank's desire to create motivational t shirts for sports people. Seriously. As if there weren't enough latent motivational cheese in the world already.

To be fair to Swank however, this project isn't exactly a bolt from the proverbial blue. Before becoming an exceptional actress, she was a gymnast given to hurling herself through the air with the greatest of ease.

The fashion designer who will work with Swank on the project is yet to be named, which is interesting because the fashion designer who works on this project will define it entirely. If you left Hilary Swank in a room with some paper and pens she'd probably just spend the whole time drawing kitties. Kitties wearing sports shoes maybe.

Anyway, I think there should be a new rule when it comes to fashion. If you're not capable of actually designing a fashion line yourself, you shouldn't be putting out a fashion line. It's a slippery slope to other careers that celebrities think they'll be really good at even though they have no idea how to actually do it. What's next, celebrity brain surgeons? Celebrity airline pilots? Are we going to see Paris Hilton scrubbing up and declaring someone's innards 'hot'? Dear god I hope so.


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