ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Holding Your Girls Purse In Public

Updated on April 30, 2013

Anything But That Honey!

Guys, we'll do anything for our girls. Hold doors for them. Pull out chairs so the can sit. We'll defend them from harm. We will even go buy sanitary products for them. Why? We love them that is why. However, how do we feel when our women ask us to hold their purse in public? We all say the same thing, Anything But That Honey!

We always end up doing it. So I've come up with a way of making it less painful. I suggest you buy your girl one of these purses.

Chicken Feet Purse

Should you get stuck holding this, you have an easy explanation. First off it's not a purse, it's a chicken carrier. Your girl has a chicken fetish and it's going to be your lucky night.

Guys will admire you for hooking up with such a kinky girl. Watch as word spreads and guys give you the thumbs up where ever you go in the mall.

Gun Purse

Trust me no one will even look at you funny holding this purse. There's a gun in it. Sure it's not real, but no one is willing to take a chance that it is real. To make it more convincing roll a couple fake bullets in you other hand.

Of course if someone calls your bluff, you will be outed to the rest of the males as a wimp. Personally, I'd take the chance.

Warning.........Beware the anti gun people. They want it to be real so they can lecture you.

Beer Mug Purse

Again, what man wouldn't want to hold this? A giant mug of beer! You will be the envy of all the homeless alcoholics that roam the mall. To make it even more realistic, occasionally take a sip. Just don't let you girl catch you. She may question your sanity.

For even more laughs, when guys ask where you got the beer, send them on a wild goose chase.  Makes holding this purse enjoyable

Chinese Takeout

This one is obvious. You aren't holding a purse, it's dinner. Chances are guys will not even bother to give you a second glance. No one will pay any attention to you holding this.

Again, this comes with a warning. One of those homeless guys may try to steal it. You think holding a purse in public is bad? Tell you girl you don't have it anymore. R I P dude.

The Hand Purse

This is a different approach to holding a purse. The others try to disguise the fact it's a purse you are holding. This announces it. However, you will get a laugh.

Just pull on the hand and yell, "Help the purse is eating my girl!". People should be to busy laughing to notice anything. Don't let anyone help you or the joke is over.

Your goal is to keep them laughing until your girl returns. Then just give her the purse and quickly walk away.

My Favorite

It's the Mummy Head Bag. Trust me no one will bother you holding this. Anybody even glances at you just give them the finger across the throat gesture. They will back off.

You can even take it a step further. Give the head a name and talk to it. Guys talking to objects in public really aren't bothered that much. You should discover that people will take the long way around you.

We Can't Win

Guys, we will never win. We will always have to hold a purse in public sometime. At least if it's one of these the pain will be a little more bearable. The days of putting the purse on the bench next to you are over. Every guy knows that's a cheap trick to avoid embarrassment.

My advice is to do some research. Find a bag that is the least uncomfortable to be seen with. Go ahead and purchase it and give it to your girl.

Ladies, should you receive one of these purses, or something similar, realize it is an attempt to meet you half way. Please realize our embarrassment and work with us.

Can You Digg It?


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • mrpooper profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago

      @kimh039 Glad you laughed. Thanks for the shout out to us guys!

    • kimh039 profile image

      Kim Harris 

      7 years ago

      Thanks for the laugh, mr pooper and to all the guys who do hideous things for their girls:)

    • mrpooper profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago

      @ ExoticHippieQueen Glad you enjoyed and totally glad I didn't disappoint.

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      OMG! You really are too funny, Mr. Pooper. With a name like that, I just had to come see what you were all about..........and you didnt disappoint me! Up and funny!

    • Pamela N Red profile image

      Pamela N Red 

      7 years ago from Oklahoma

      These are great. I haven't seen most of them. I have seen the Chinese take out purse and thought it looked kind of neat.

      Have you seen the ones that look like a football without the insides? There's also some that look like antique lunch boxes.

    • mrpooper profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago

      Thanks for the kind words MyMastiffPuppies.

    • MyMastiffPuppies profile image


      7 years ago

      Very funny! Great job on finding all of the unusual purses and you were excellent at coming up with a scenario to match! Voted up, useful, funny and awesome...

    • Emily40 profile image


      7 years ago

      Lol this so funny. Enjoyed reading it.

    • profile image

      Fay Paxton 

      7 years ago

      You're so funny. I have a ridiculous assortments of purses and shoes, but I gotta get me one of those chicken feet purses.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)