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Hospital Gowns A Comical Look at Designer Hospital Gowns

Updated on April 22, 2011

A Temps New Day At Work

Add a little comic relief to your day, with the story of a temp assigned to a designer hospital gown show. That’s right designer hospital gowns. Who knew? Beware, the spelling and grammar mishaps are intentional, and don’t take anything personal, this ones just for fun.

Upon arriving at that there hospital for my temp job they structed me to go to the fifth floor and see that there charge nurse. When I went to the elevator someone was pushing a lady in a wheelchair off and said, “Just push the button.” I thought that was a fine how do ya do, siderin I wadn’t born yesterday, and know how to push a button. I mean it might be my first time in a hospital, but not in one of these here elevators. So since I was running late and all and didn’t have no time to be arguing wit nobody, I pushed the button. I waited and waited, so I pushed it again, nuttin happened. Darn found it, so I pushed that there number 5 again and still nothing. Finally, this here doctor walks in and says “Could you press 4 please?” I said, “OK but I’m telling ya I think this here elevator needs some repair, it’s broke”. He then looked at me as if I were some alien or somethin and reached over and pushed the red button and said now we can go. I thought to myself , well if she would a said push the red button I ain‘t color blind and would a done it. It don’t take no Havard educate to know that.

Arrival On the Fifth Floor

Whelp I made it to the fifth floor and asked fur the charge nurse but her being busy,  the other nurse said go to room 312 and help them get ready for the designer gown show  So off I went to the room.  I walked inside and couldn’t near help myself cause them there models were in the bed sleeping. So I went over to be nice and all to wake um up, and this one she was white as a ghost and I could see the whites of her eyes.  I thought oh me lord she’s dead! So I rushed to the hall and screamed code red, or purple, or black what ever that color is when somebody done died. You all better hurry up cause this one is done stiff as a board and I ain’t got proper doctor schoolin and all, but I’m a thinin your to late. Everybody came a running and I thought to myself well my first trip to the hospital and I done saved some bodies life.  I was kind a disappointed after all them came a running and then told me about them manikins.  How was I supposed to know.  How was they supposed to walk that red carpet for Oscar’s party if they can’t move or nothing. 

They Don't Even Appreciate Me

Oh well, I walked back down to the station where all the nurses and stuff is, to ask um where the gowns were supposed to be they’d be a wearing. Then this here nurse, she done told me they already had them on them manikins and to help set up when they bring up more.  I thought well ok, it ain’t my show but them are some poor looking designer gowns there a wearing.  So back to the room I went.  Then I took to looking and somebody had done brought me breakfast, coffee and everything.  So I pushed the manikin over sat down on the bed and went to eating it.  They had actually put a little make up on this manikin which was fine with me it being less work and all.  I was bout half way done with my grub and all the sudden something grabbed me from behind and took to screaming like the cows hadn’t come home.  I was tryin to fight back and all with my legs a kickin  but there weren’t much I could do from behind. So again all them educated hospital people came a running like there was a fire or something. I was glad they came to help and all, cause I didn’t know how them there mechanical manikins worked and everything. 

Well, they weren’t very appreciaten my work and all cause come to find out I had just been in the wrong room, and this lady she thought I was trying to mole test her.  I didn’t want to be rude or anything so I didn’t tell that lady she would have been needing to a puttin on a lot more make up than that, to be getting me away from Mary Lou, my girlfriend.  Then the nurse she went to telling me to stay out of these patients rooms cause I was on the 5th floor.  I said lady what has that got to do with anything, do they have a better view?  She looked at me like I was plum crazy, saying no their here because they have mental health disorders. You know the fifth floor always has the crazies we just didn’t have room for the show on another floor. Well I didn’t know what was wrong with them but her attacking me was in very disorder She told me to get back to 312 cause there was some more manikins that needed to be dressed and displayed so everyone could see them. Then she handed me this bag of gowns and away I went.

Maybe Now I Could Get To Working

Well, maybe now I could be getting some work done. I need this here job so I could be paying for Mary Lou’s engagement ring ya see for when I porposed. So I went back to the right room and proceeded to be taking the gowns out of the bag. There was pink gowns and ones with um cowboys and all on it n everything. There was even sum for them pegnated women. They were all folded up like some newspaper or something with a bow around them. I thought that was kind of nice and all but shouldn’t they be ironed for the show. So I asked one of them there cleaning ladies for an iron cause the gowns needed ironin. She told me to put them on just like they was and she would go look fur an iron. So that’s what I did, and started to figuring on how they could be seen real well since I wanted to do a good job and all. So I figured I could put some up high by standing them on a few of them tables and found some sheets to help tie them in place. Then the cleanin lady she come back with an iron telling me to be careful and not iron the disposalable ones. I thought she was just trying to make me look stupid cause she was wantin my job and I didn’t care what designer made em, so I just set to ironing

Well I got to displaying them gowns real good and was just bout done when I heard them callin my name. Gopher, Gopher come here we need you for a minute. Ya see my ma she changed my name to Gopher cause after my teeth came in they kind a looked like a gopher’s and she’d be able to tell me from from her other chillins. I had near 14 brothers and sisters. I would a had more but the girls kept to running off to get hitched.

Well when I got to the nurse that’d been calling me n she went to introducing these fine women and I couldn’t help thinking they’d be selling a lot more gowns if they were to be the models. Well half way to introducing these loud bells started ringing and a buzzing that I thought were for the show to start so everyone would be on time. But that wasn’t the case at tall, you see I forgot to put the iron up and I guess it was on one of them there disposal designer gowns they made of paper. So it proceeded to catch fire and when we got to the room and they seen them manikins hanging from the curtain rods liken a pig when we get em ready for fiddles I found out the gowns weren’t the only thin fired.

They Made My Name In the Paper

So I don’t know how all the showin went but that was my first trip bein to the hospital and I’m a thinnin they won’t be having me back. So I cut out the pictures in the newspaper (had to take it outta Mary Lou’s engagement ring savins to buy it) but hey, I made the paper and cut out the pictures of them there gowns so you could see. I gotta say I’d be buying sum for my ma if I wasn’t saving cause there’d be some you’d be payin three dollars and fifty cent fur and I was thinking that was pretty cheap

So get to lookin and ya’ll come back now ya here.


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    • Charlu profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago from Florida

      Thanks Eiddwen I still can't stop laughing when I think about designer hospital gowns, again who knew? Thanks for stopping by and your wonderful comments Have a great day.

    • Eiddwen profile image


      7 years ago from Wales

      What an unique and brilliant hub.

      This is what I love about Hp. As well as being able to publish our own work we can also read many hubs on such varied topics.

      I loved this one, so different !!! Thanks for sharing and making me laugh.

      Take care


    • Charlu profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago from Florida

      Sometimes you just gotta have a good laugh Thanks

    • Peggy W profile image

      Peggy Woods 

      7 years ago from Houston, Texas

      Hahaha! Hope that there Gopher fella stays far away from any more of dem hospital jobs. At least he showed us some of dem horspital gowns. Cute and funny. Thanks!


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