ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Hot Facist Fashions | The Tiananmen Umbrella-Men

Updated on June 4, 2009

Pretty!

On June 4, 1989, in Tiananmen Square, Beijing, China, nothing happened. Nothing at all. The happy citizens of China went about their business, loyal to the government and revelling in the greatness of their nation. Nobody was in Tiananmen square at all, because the entire population of China was out in the green fields rolling around amidst the grasses and wildflowers, sunning their bellies and playing tickling games with one another.

Unfortunately, China is not alone in the world. There are evil capitalist nations such as America and the UK which insist on spreading filthy lies about poor innocent China. According to these capitalist countries, Tiananmen Square was the site of the brutal massacre of thousands of young Chinese students who had gathered there to mourn the passing of pro-democracy official Hu Yaobang. Allegedly, many thousands of students and filthy intellectuals blocked the great square, forcing the Chinese government's hand. Allegedly. There's only one thing to do with people intent on book learning and democracy, and that's mow them down with tanks. Allegedly.

Please open an umbrella in front of your face as you scroll down the page, nothing to see here...

Now, twenty years after the date where absolutely nothing happened, foreign journalists insist on showing up to Tiananmen square to try and film it. Clearly this is unacceptable to the Chinese government. Journalists filming nothing much happening at a place where nothing much has ever happened is a threat to national security and an insult to all that is good and right in the world. Do they not realize that all free speech and wild ideas should be confined strictly to free speech zones?

Free speech is a dangerous animal that needs to be caged and kept away from innocent civilians. Fortunately for those sneaky foreign journos, the Chinese are now eschewing tanks for far more effective weapons – Umbrellas.

See how they artfully block the cameras of the media, preventing them from filming what is most definitely not happening.

If you've been inspired by this video, why not start carrying an umbrella with you at all times? Think of all the good you could do for your government if you were a good citizen prepared to censor the media with 26 inches of thin nylon. Think of all the lives you could save.

If only the Chinese had been aware of the power of the umbrella twenty years ago, perhaps what didn't happen in Tiananmen square could have been avoided. That is to say, what didn't happen, wouldn't couldn't have not happened. You see what I mean?

More scintillating footage of Chinese umbrellas...

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Hope Alexander profile imageAUTHOR

      Hope Alexander 

      9 years ago

      It's awfully hard to be upbeat and positive about the deaths of thousands and the ongoing repression of millions by a totalitarian regime, don't you think?

    • Tomgeekery profile image

      Tomgeekery 

      9 years ago

      Delightfully cynical!

    • Teresa McGurk profile image

      Sheila 

      9 years ago from The Other Bangor

      Excellent -- really excellent. Thank you.

    • Gypsy Willow profile image

      Gypsy Willow 

      9 years ago from Lake Tahoe Nevada USA , Wales UK and Taupo New Zealand

      Unbelievable in this day and age. Words fail me. Pass the umbrella.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)