How To Take Off a Bra
How to unhook a bra
This guide is primarily aimed at men, who, for whatever reason (a sudden back ache?) are intent on unfastening those medieval contraptions we fondly call bras. Which happens to be no mean feat when, in most cases, we are either facing the wrong way or rendered blind by low key lighting (or alternatively by a face a couple of inches from our own).
I will attempt to guide you through the numerous pitfalls and practical jokes women like to play on men, including the dreaded sports bra and the handy but unpredictable variant which is unhooked from the front of the body. There is a fairly good chance you will never be laughed at again. Well -- a fairly good chance.
How To Undo A Bra
Take a good, long look to the right because you need to fully visualize the nature of the evil you are facing. Also note, with satisfaction, how the hooks are not fastened linearly, another common sight (because women are not as painstaking and systematic as they would have you know).
Traditional models such as these are usually relatively easy to remove. You can often unlatch them with a nifty little trick that will leave your counterpart wondering what you've been up to the last few years.
Press your thumb firmly over the hooks and place two other fingers on the other side of the latch and find the eyes, then simply roll your thumb over your fingers (to the right). Note: This is a sleek and stylish one-handed approach, failing repeatedly will make you look like a poseur. Practice first or lower your ambitions.
On the other hand (please forgive the pun) you'll able to use your other hand for other purposes. Tips on hand usage are not covered in this guide!
With enough practice you can get this technique to work almost instantly, leading to startled yelp and a cocky, winning smile from you.
Technique #2 Courtesy of Mr. Magicpants
For those of you worried about looking like amateurs, but afraid of using the alpha male one handed approach, Mr Magicpants (above) shows you how another more conventional one-handed approach can be both smooth and stylish.
Just because the clasp is facing you, doesn't mean its easier -- unless you want to kill the romance by looking like an electrician wielding a soldering iron.
The important thing to realize with front hook bras is that it's going to take awhile, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. Unhooking the eyes is usually done up or down. Make it slow and make it sexy, simply because going quickly is going to make you look like a troglodyte.
In the introduction I mentioned the fact that in most cases sports bras were hellish to remove. I'm aware that in reality, they are technically the easiest to remove.
To the right is a popular Under armor sports bra, the presence of a zip makes it almost too easy (where's the fun in that?). But be warned that some models have no mechanism at all and are designed to be taken off much like a t-shirt would. In theory, this is all fun and games. In practice however, it can be awkward. Especially when you aren't sure what kind of sports bra you're dealing with or whether it's a practical joke of some sort.
If you are sure there are no fastening mechanisms, its time to take the initiate and delicately pull it off. In my humble experience, however, women tend to look pretty good doing this themselves.
When all else fails...
Why not make a bold statement by presenting the object of your frustration a sports bra made from your own underwear!