ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

How To Secretly Buy Lingerie

Updated on March 15, 2010

There are many reasons why one might want to secretly buy lingerie. Perhaps it is intended to be a present. Perhaps one is living under a cruel, anti-lingerie regime. Perhaps one simply likes to be stealthy in the way that one makes one's purchases. A great deal of emphasis is put on being open and transparent in one's activities these days, so much so that there is little room for the quiet joy of having little secret nooks and crannies in one's home, mind and soul. These are tips for secretly buying lingerie, because not everybody needs to know every time you purchase a pair of panties.


Using Your Credit Card Online

This is an excellent way to have lingerie delivered wherever you want it. Really. If you want, you could have a nice package of lingerie delivered to the Sultan's Palace in Bahrain. It will, however, show up on one's credit card bill. So, if one is perhaps purchasing lingerie without one's significant other finding out about it, then one should probably avoid using joint credit cards, or credit cards the statements of which will find their way into the hands of one's partner.

Cash

If you purchase lingerie with cash, discard the receipt by eating it, and hide the lingerie in a bunker under your greenhouse, nobody will be the wiser. Buying things with cash is an excellent way to keep purchases secret. In fact, it is so good that I'll warrant a time will soon come in which cash will be declared obsolete and removed from circulation and all purchases will be made via EFTPOS (electronic funds transfer at point of sale) or credit card. Take advantage of the freedom of cash whilst you can!

A Crafty Disguise

If you really want to ensure that your purchases are secret, then you should perhaps consider a crafty disguise. A false mustache, a pair of glasses (they worked well for Clark Kent), perhaps a false nose. It is not recommended that you wear a mask, balaclava, or stocking over your head as your intentions may be misread by people not sufficiently broadminded enough to consider the possibility that you wish to conceal your identity for entirely benign reasons.

A Third Party

Though this makes your lingerie purchase something of a non secret, or rather a secret shared between two people, having a third party make your lingerie purchases for you puts distance between you and the aforementioned transaction. It is almost impossible to detect a third party transaction, especially if the third party is not known to the party you wish to keep the lingerie secret from.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • profile image

      Sherman 

      8 years ago

      Or just unabashedly buy the panties in person. Who's to know whether it's a gift or for yourself -- or a gift for yourself? Confidence gentlemen!

    • profile image

      ILoveLingerie 

      8 years ago

      @Mark: PayPal for the win. I use that for almost everything online!

    • profile image

      Shadyterri 

      8 years ago

      I have mine mailed to a PO Box.

    • profile image

      Mark 

      8 years ago

      While I know your tongue is firmly in your cheek, Hope, you forgot using Paypal, a wonderfully convenient way to pay for items purchased on-line. More than one pair of panties has visited my mailbox thanks to this system.....tho, since I'm not a secret panty wearer, my significant other was instantly jealous upon opening the mysterious package!

    • artrush73 profile image

      artrush73 

      8 years ago

      one could hide whatever they like in the place where everyone knows about. It's just there with all the belongings. If you will put for example "Lingerie" in a special place, it will be discovered. If you put it with the rest of you panties :), nobody will pay any attention :)

    • Hope Alexander profile imageAUTHOR

      Hope Alexander 

      8 years ago

    • foxxyz69 profile image

      foxxyz69 

      8 years ago from Niles Ohio

      One might get away with the purchase, but trying to find the perfect hiding spot, without the items being found, is the real drama.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)