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How To Secretly Buy Lingerie

Updated on March 15, 2010

There are many reasons why one might want to secretly buy lingerie. Perhaps it is intended to be a present. Perhaps one is living under a cruel, anti-lingerie regime. Perhaps one simply likes to be stealthy in the way that one makes one's purchases. A great deal of emphasis is put on being open and transparent in one's activities these days, so much so that there is little room for the quiet joy of having little secret nooks and crannies in one's home, mind and soul. These are tips for secretly buying lingerie, because not everybody needs to know every time you purchase a pair of panties.


Using Your Credit Card Online

This is an excellent way to have lingerie delivered wherever you want it. Really. If you want, you could have a nice package of lingerie delivered to the Sultan's Palace in Bahrain. It will, however, show up on one's credit card bill. So, if one is perhaps purchasing lingerie without one's significant other finding out about it, then one should probably avoid using joint credit cards, or credit cards the statements of which will find their way into the hands of one's partner.

Cash

If you purchase lingerie with cash, discard the receipt by eating it, and hide the lingerie in a bunker under your greenhouse, nobody will be the wiser. Buying things with cash is an excellent way to keep purchases secret. In fact, it is so good that I'll warrant a time will soon come in which cash will be declared obsolete and removed from circulation and all purchases will be made via EFTPOS (electronic funds transfer at point of sale) or credit card. Take advantage of the freedom of cash whilst you can!

A Crafty Disguise

If you really want to ensure that your purchases are secret, then you should perhaps consider a crafty disguise. A false mustache, a pair of glasses (they worked well for Clark Kent), perhaps a false nose. It is not recommended that you wear a mask, balaclava, or stocking over your head as your intentions may be misread by people not sufficiently broadminded enough to consider the possibility that you wish to conceal your identity for entirely benign reasons.

A Third Party

Though this makes your lingerie purchase something of a non secret, or rather a secret shared between two people, having a third party make your lingerie purchases for you puts distance between you and the aforementioned transaction. It is almost impossible to detect a third party transaction, especially if the third party is not known to the party you wish to keep the lingerie secret from.

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    • foxxyz69 profile image

      foxxyz69 7 years ago from Niles Ohio

      One might get away with the purchase, but trying to find the perfect hiding spot, without the items being found, is the real drama.

    • Hope Alexander profile image
      Author

      Hope Alexander 7 years ago

    • artrush73 profile image

      artrush73 7 years ago

      one could hide whatever they like in the place where everyone knows about. It's just there with all the belongings. If you will put for example "Lingerie" in a special place, it will be discovered. If you put it with the rest of you panties :), nobody will pay any attention :)

    • profile image

      Mark 7 years ago

      While I know your tongue is firmly in your cheek, Hope, you forgot using Paypal, a wonderfully convenient way to pay for items purchased on-line. More than one pair of panties has visited my mailbox thanks to this system.....tho, since I'm not a secret panty wearer, my significant other was instantly jealous upon opening the mysterious package!

    • profile image

      Shadyterri 7 years ago

      I have mine mailed to a PO Box.

    • profile image

      ILoveLingerie 7 years ago

      @Mark: PayPal for the win. I use that for almost everything online!

    • profile image

      Sherman 7 years ago

      Or just unabashedly buy the panties in person. Who's to know whether it's a gift or for yourself -- or a gift for yourself? Confidence gentlemen!

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