How To Warm Pants On Your Woodstove
The following suggestion is directed for use by householders who predominantly use a wood stove for residential heating purposes. It is recommended that the garment you try this with is at first of sturdy character until you become adept at managing the temperatures involved.
In a living without electricity situation, it gets mighty cold at night and so that first few hours of the day will be sparked with a chill in the air that wraps its harsh grasp around all hide, both young and old.
A refreshing way to begin one’s morning, starts the night before when you leave a lid covered tin, steel or large cast iron bucket 1/3 full of small clean round stones or pebbles upon your woodstove over night. Come morning, the stones will be warm or will easily re-warm if you’ve properly banked your coals so to be found still glowing by daybreak.
Once the stones in the bucket are sufficiently warm, set your pants in the bucket atop the contents and replace the lid. Give it about 10 to 15 minutes and then check the temperature of your pants. If you smell something burning, by all means rescue garment immediately and make a mental note that 10 to 15 minutes is far too long for the variables involved in this process. When sufficiently warm (positive circumstances assumed here), remove the garment and don it straight away. It will give your body a head start in the early morning against the chill if your clothing is pre-warmed.
If any of the garment, such as is common on blue jeans, contains brass or other metal accessories commonly used for buttons or grommets etc, then it is this author’s recommendation that care is used when first removing the garment from the heating container. This caution is intended to avoid burns caused by contact with the accessory parts which may be hotter than the fabric.
This author also does not recommend heating garments with plastic accessories such as buttons or clasps in this manner as the temperature variables are difficult to manage under the best of circumstances. The temperature variables are highly dependent upon the diameter and type of combustibles used in the wood stove, as well as the quantity of hot coals involved. Novices are advised to avoid exposing such plastics to this process entirely, as the mess and the smell of burning plastics is not only annoying but is also considered rather toxic.
One more caution is that polyester (being a fabric of plastic relation) is NOT recommended in any way for use with this warming method. Stick to cotton & wool fabrics and you should be relatively safe.
Other standard disclaimers include: do not leave occupied container unattended on wood stove. And do not allow children to remove the contents; either garments or stones. This process is not for use by persons under the age of 30 (30 is traditionally the age in which common sense returns to the hormone & adrenalin dominated physiology of homo sapien sapien).
And lastly, leaving the contents within for too long a period, on high or roaring heat, can cause adrenalin-overload and loss of eye-brows when it is suddenly exposed to fresh oxygen. Lift lid at own risk.