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How to Appear Like You Have Dry Pants When You Wet Your Pants

Updated on September 10, 2014
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Wet Pants

The situation may vary from one person to another, but the response remains the same: devastation! Your pants have gone from dry, to awry, and your mind is now flying at 100 miles per hour in an attempt to recover from this greatest of travesties.

You have wet your pants.

Preparing for an "accidental wetting" is something that all intelligent socialites should do. You never know when the situation may present itself and having an emergency plan in place will save you from years of embarrassment, failed relationships, and a shattered self-esteem. If you wait until their wet to start planning, a disaster is sure to ensue.

How do you prepare for such a colorful, stinky, and moistening predicament? By knowing why accidental wettings take place, what preventative measures to have lined up, and how to react when the situation is at hand. After reading this article you will never again feel uncomfortable meeting new people or spending time with old friends because this embarrassing, age-old predicament won't catch you off guard.


Why People Wet Their Pants

Everyone knows why a baby wets her pants - she's not tall enough to sit on the toilet. We are all also aware of why elderly people have accidents - they feel like they need to go to the bathroom, but then they forget about it until it's too late.

However, why would you, someone old enough to read this article and young/active enough to be traversing the internet, end up feeling as if you've just stepped into a warm pool? There are three common situations in which an accidental wetting can happen to someone who would otherwise be seen as living at the height of dryness.

1. Laughing Too Hard

Though more common among women then men, it is still not unheard of. A friend tells a joke, at first you don't get it, and then, as if a dam of humor has just broken, you collapse to the floor in a flood of laughter. Sadly, simultaneously, another dam breaks, and you also end up in a flood of, well, unpleasantries (I just made that word up).

If you would like to see a situation in which this took place, notice Ardie's comment on my article A Flawless Way to Meet Women. Apparently reading this article caused her such a horror - but please, don't judge her too harshly, it is a pretty good article.

2. Trying to Hold it In to Avoid Awkwardly Having to Say that You Need the Restroom

Maybe you're walking through the mall with new friends, driving down the road with an angry relative, or sitting at a restaurant with a hot date. Regardless of the exact scenario, the point is, you're too embarrassed to suggest your need to let loose. Therefore, you continue sitting, holding, holding, holding, until alas, one can hold it in no longer.

While the average reader is probably thinking, "Man up! Say what you're really thinking!" Allow me to suggest that you refrain from making judgements... Many people have gone into a job interview, taken the window seat of an aircraft, or attended a concert with date, confident in both themselves and their ability to make it to a restroom in the necessary amount of time - only to, aghast, cry themselves to sleep that evening, embarrassed, wet, and alone. Never judge others!

3. Falling Asleep Unplanned

Sleep - it's how we spend nearly a third of our lives, and it's bound to catch us unprepared at some point. The most common close calls take place if one goes over to a friends house to pull an all-nighter watching the Lord of the Rings Trilogy, ends up stranded in an airport with an extra long layover, or is riding on a long train across Europe.

The best preventative measure here is to practice the "wake-and-hold". This is the process of always waking up with a tightened bladder. If the "wake-and-hold" becomes instinct, when you suddenly wake up because you're about to go, your body will have already taken control and you won't have to panic about what to do.

Again, this is a situation that most people have probably experienced at several points in their lives. Even if you've been victorious up to this point against waking to wet pants, it's never a bad idea to develop a strategy in case next time you wake up just a little too late.


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Before the Flow

Once you know when accidental wettings most frequently occur, it is a good idea to approach any activity that may lead to a wetting, well prepared. Here are five preparatory steps to keep your guard up:

1. Go Before You Get There

If you play with fire, you are definitely going to get burned. Use it before you lose it in public. This is common knowledge and the first step to avoiding an awkward situation. Just go before you get there!

2. Know the Location of the Nearest Facility

A map isn't necessary, but a keen eye is. Although few of us can have the observation abilities of Jason Bourne, we can still keep our eyes out for a restroom. If a sudden disaster approaches, you don't want to run in the opposite direction of safety.

3. Have an Exit Strategy

A solid backup plan is always a good idea. Constantly be thinking, "what would I do if it happened now?" This kind of thinking, and the brainstorming that ensues, will prepare you for when the disaster does strike.

Things to keep in mind when planning an exit strategy: how to face away from the crowd discretely, know the location of furniture that can be used for shielding purposes, and observe any drinks or other water sources that could quickly be thrown on oneself as a coverup.

4. Avoid Wearing Pants Magnetic-to-Water

There are some pants that you could fall into a lake wearing, and still look dry. Meanwhile, other pants get soaked if you walk next to a drinking fountain. Buy the former and avoid the latter. Don't be embarrassed to ask the cashiers at the department store which pants hide moisture most frequently. Rest assured, this is a common question and it is highly unlikely that strange faces or assumptions will be made. But even if they are, you'll be the one laughing after successfully hiding an accidental wetting.

5. Have Backup Britches

This is a very obvious statement, but so few people heed to its common sensitivity. When taking a test, one regularly has two pencils. When driving a car, one has an extra tire. Why not be smart and do the same with your pants? Carry an extra pair and life's little surprises won't be surprising you.


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In The Heat of the Moment

It's happened! The Japanese were sure to bomb Pearl Harbor. The American auto companies were guaranteed a bail out. It was only a matter of time before that accidental wetting was going to take place... and that time is now.

I highly recommend that you print out the following steps, place them in your wallet next to the one hundred dollar bills, and never go anywhere without your wallet.

Whether reading these six steps as a preventative, or during the moment itself, remember that failing to follow them in this precise order could lead to an unattractive outcome. Never has following directions perfectly been of such great importance.

1. Smile Calmly

The natural instinct is to widen your eyes, open your mouth, and make some form of a gasping sound. This would be similar to a movie doing a flash-forward, completely giving away the end and defeating the entire purpose of the production.

No, the necessary response is to smile calmly. This will help you relax and prevent anyone from suspecting what you already know to be true.

2. Take Cover!

Now that no one is suspecting, quickly find something to cover yourself with. Find a blanket, napkin, small child - anything really! Just get that spot covered. This step, though obvious, must be done with tact and precision to prevent the situation from taking a turn for the worst.

3. Point Out a Distraction

"Look! A plane/dog/car/woman/bug/elephant/tv/iPhone/book/drink/old-friend/favorite-food/flying-hippo!"

The exact item is of little importance. The key here is to get the crowd looking at anything other than you. Find something this is A) of interest to those being distracted, and B) capable of absorbing a significant amount of time. Doing this smoothly and calmly will provide the wettie with ample time to determine the next step of action.

4. Add More Moisture

Although not always necessary, most situations will call for this activity. Find the nearest beverage, fish tank, or peeing dog, and flock to it like peanut-butter on bread! By adding more moisture and pointing it out, yes, you may be slightly teased and embarrassed, but trust me, the pain will be far longer lasting if the original cause of wetting is discovered.

5. Extract Yourself from the Situation

Now is when you find that restroom, your car, or a guest room. Get AWAY from the crowd! It will be far easier to think when able to relax and not feel the pressure of those around you - even if they don't know what's going on. Your social life is too valuable to hide something that could destroy it under a table.

Relax, think, and prepare your last move.

6. Change Your Pants or Flee

If you've already read my preparatory steps, and abide by them, then the last step is easy - change your pants! This will allow you to go back out to the fun and enjoy life once more. People might wonder why you changed. The answer is up to you. Comfort, to be different, for the sake of mystery, or even jokingly say you wet your pants (this will get a laugh and allow you to still be honest!).

However, if you have failed to heed my previous advice and keep a backup pair on hand, I'm afraid the only solution you have remaining is to run like the dickens! Find a window to sneak out of, leave items in the other room behind, and run, run, run. At this point Forrest Gump is your one and only role model.

Yes, it is sad that you will probably never see the people you ran from ever again. But remember this, losing a few friends is a small price to pay for the security of knowing that you won't spend the rest of your life wet, alone, and mocked. Just make sure you get that pair of backup pants now - or else, eventually, you will run out of friends (quite literally because you are constantly running away from them).

How would you describe your pants wetting situation over the past year?

See results

Summary

Fortunately, accidental wettings are few and far between. This is something to be thankful about because, when one does it, it leaves a trail of nightmares one might never forget. To stay safe and dry remember:

  1. Know if you will be in a situation where a wetting could occur.
  2. Come prepared.
  3. Practice with imaginary scenarios.
  4. Enjoy life with dry pants!

While it has been a few years since my last wetting, and although I had not thought of what I would do in such situations until writing this article, I am confident that the knowledge stated in the article has the ability to save lives - socially.

Have you wet your pants? Do you have a plan? Share your thoughts in the comment section below.

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    • Robert Erich profile image
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      Robert Erich 21 months ago from California

      Hahaha. I appreciate you thinking so. :)

    • profile image

      hi 2 years ago

      you are great

    • Robert Erich profile image
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      Robert Erich 2 years ago from California

      Thanks all for your feedback. And yes, it's always a good idea to be prepared (with this article in hand).

    • profile image

      amairani 3 years ago

      This hub could come in handy when you wet your pants: )

    • profile image

      npj 4 years ago

      I certainly support the suggestion of adult nappies/diapers. People might think they are obvious but they're really not, certainly compared to wet clothes if you're prone to this sort of accident! Nobody knows you're wearing a nappy, nobody knows you're wet, nobody knows you're basically going to the toilet in your pants as you talk to them! It's just your own little secret.

    • frozenink profile image

      frozenink 4 years ago

      Three words. Hilarious, enjoyable, informative! Thanks for sharing!

    • Robert Erich profile image
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      Robert Erich 4 years ago from California

      Yes, I thought that made the most sense. After all, it is generally fashionable for men to keep their pants dry.

    • lizlauder profile image

      lizlauder 4 years ago from Western New York

      I think my favorite thing about this is that it's categorized under "Men's Fashion and Clothing Styles."

    • JanMaklak profile image

      JanMaklak 4 years ago from Canada

      I just take after my dog. Smell, Point and FIRE!!!

      Oh and what was that about Kegels SQUEEZE 2,3,4...

    • Robert Erich profile image
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      Robert Erich 5 years ago from California

      I am glad that it kept you laughing! One of the primary goals of this article is to indeed give people a taste of how one can nearly wet her pants unintentionally. ;) I wish you the best as you continue life as a dry-panted person.

    • healthylife2 profile image

      Healthy Life 5 years ago from Connecticut, USA

      I'm not sure why but I couldn't stop laughing while reading this and glad it didn't lead to an "accident". Thanks for the great tips to handle a potentially awkward situation.

    • Robert Erich profile image
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      Robert Erich 5 years ago from California

      Hi Maggs! I will contact you directly. I cannot find my contact button on this new HubPages profile page either. I am excited to see this picture!

    • maggs224 profile image

      maggs224 5 years ago from Sunny Spain

      Hi Robert I have taken a photograph that I thought you would like I cannot find the contact button on your profile page so I can't send it to you.

      I caught this lady just as she had come up off the beach and she has the wet patch from her wet swimming costume or has she? Maybe she just wants us to think that Lol...

      If you would like that photograph give me a way to send it to you. Maggs

    • Robert Erich profile image
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      Robert Erich 5 years ago from California

      Thank you for sharing so much valuable information! I must say you have provided some good points to ponder. I shall avoid holding my bladder too much for those health benefits.

    • mcleodgi profile image

      mcleodgi 5 years ago

      Thanks for being so brave to write about something that's embarrassing. I've been exposed to many maximum care nursing facilities in my life (including now since I'm volunteering for a hospice). I'm convinced that the part of the reason why especially many of those women (for the most part, the WWII generation is the one that's still dying off and now the first of the Baby Boomers are starting to go into care) are incontinent is because that was back before women were told to do their kegels after birth (the bladder flops a little during and after a natural birth because of what the woman's body goes through and kegel exercises helps to tighten it again. Kegel exercises is when you deliberately contract your muscles to stop to flow for a couple of seconds a few times). And some of the WWII generation women gave birth multiple times. In my grandmother's case, my dad was the only one she ended up having biologically but she nearly died having him (this was back in 1946 right after the war ended) due to a medical condition and the fact that her doctor wouldn't do a C-section. That said, if incontinence is the issue, most doctors recommend kegels-and probably some exercises to tighten the abs as well.

      Another thing I'd like to add is that holding your urine in for long periods of time, especially on a regular basis has also been known to lead to urinary tract infections (UTI's) and if left untreated, the UTI can travel all the way into your brain and become fatal. Also, since UTI's are caused by bacteria traveling up the urethra (the little line between your bladder and the small hole the urine is eliminated from), wetting your pants (and then wearing them too long afterward) can let to one as well.

    • Robert Erich profile image
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      Robert Erich 5 years ago from California

      @am: Glad you enjoyed the read!

      @maggs: It's great to hear that you have a solid strategy already in place for such a potentially hazardous situation. I think your advice is great and I will likely follow it. When I get to that point in my life, ocean resort town, here I come!

    • maggs224 profile image

      maggs224 5 years ago from Sunny Spain

      Hi Robert, I have had such fun reading this hub, unfortunately I am at that stage of life when knowing that I want to go and needing to go have become very very close together lol...

      I have not had the unfortunate experience of a full blown accident but if I ever do at least now I am prepared.

      Where I live you could perhaps get away with it better than in most places because we are a seaside resort and when folks come up from the front there clothes often have wet patches because they have put them on over their swimsuits.

      So if you come here just tell everyone that the sea was nice today and they will assume you have been for a swim lol...

      Voting up and hitting buttons as I go :D maggs

    • am301986 profile image

      am301986 5 years ago from New Delhi

      Great hub....and funny too....enjoyed reading. Cheers!

    • Robert Erich profile image
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      Robert Erich 5 years ago from California

      Well thank you Anjo, it was certainly fun to write. I appreciate your compliment!

    • Anjo Bacarisas II profile image

      Anjo Bacarisas II 5 years ago from Cagayan de Oro, Philippines

      very funny hub! HAHAHA .. I enjoy reading the content of this page, you did a bang-up job! :))

    • Robert Erich profile image
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      Robert Erich 5 years ago from California

      Thank you all! I am glad you've enjoyed and I find it hilarious that you all have helped me make this my most read hub. Ridiculous. But impressive.

    • profile image

      bedwetter2 5 years ago

      I bedwet every night. If I go to the pub & drink a lot of beer I will wet my pants thoroughly & then the bed.

    • yougotme profile image

      Renz Kristofer Cheng 5 years ago from Manila

      This is so darn funny Robert! Great hub! Now, I will have things to do in case this happens to me.

      And I noticed that you are now an apprentice in Hubpages, that's super great! I just applied yesterday, I hope I'll get into the program too after some time.

      Anyway, great work!

    • brsmom68 profile image

      Diane Ziomek 5 years ago from Alberta, Canada

      Voted up, useful, interesting and soon to be shared and pinned. I can't say as I have ever been in this particular situation in my adult life, but it is a good article to keep in mind. I am getting older you know! :)

    • profile image

      Lynn S. Murphy 5 years ago

      oMG! hysterical. Great tips that will help avoid twirling about and needless panic.

    • Glimmer Twin Fan profile image

      Glimmer Twin Fan 5 years ago

      Ha Ha! This is very funny. Thanks for the great laugh. I always have to be on the lookout for sneezing and coughing! Voted up and funny!

    • Jeannieinabottle profile image

      Jeannie InABottle 5 years ago from Baltimore, MD

      This is very useful information. It is important to always remember to go when you feel the urge before getting on an elevator, too. You never know when it might get stuck and then you might have to make an important potty decision. Voted up and shared!

    • dwachira profile image

      [ Danson Wachira ] 5 years ago from Nairobi, Kenya

      Wow! this is very true, how often do we find ourselves in such situations. I really like the tips in here especially places like meetings can turn out to be such places where you wish you had sat at the back for easier exit. Voted up , useful and shared.

    • Robert Erich profile image
      Author

      Robert Erich 5 years ago from California

      I am glad you both enjoyed this article! And if it made you wet your pants, well, it was worth the writing! ;)

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 5 years ago from England

      The one that made me laugh even more was head for a fish tank, anything with water! I was laughing so much I nearly, well, you know! haha!

    • jennzie profile image

      jennzie 5 years ago from Lower Bucks County, PA

      Very funny article! I never thought much about preparing for this type of situation before reading this- thanks for the great advice!

      Voted up and funny, as well as shared!

    • Robert Erich profile image
      Author

      Robert Erich 5 years ago from California

      Thanks for the great suggestions Mayre Poole! You should write an article on this topic. And yes rob, diapers would be a wonderful thing to add as well. I suppose that would eliminate many problems.

    • profile image

      rob 5 years ago

      wear a diaper..

    • profile image

      Mayre Poole 5 years ago

      Thanks. I loved your post! i can relate to too much of that, lol. i have always had a weak or small bladder, very accident-prone. i have used some of your methods and found a few of my own. my favorite one is to spill water on my lap after an accident at a restaurant, or a soda on my lap if i soak a car seat. I have even gone as far as to drink most of the water then just spill a little bit, and everyone thinks I silled the whole glass. When you are in the car there is nothing you can do, especially if there is a crazy driver, or if you are the driver, lol. I hate getting up at a food place if everone is eating, and usually wait too long, but I always have that glass of water handy.

      One time I was outside at school, sitting in the grass in a skirt and had to pee. Just as I was about to get up, the guy I had a crush on finally came to em and sat down. The short of it, I had to chose between peeing my panties in the grass and talking to this hot guy, or getting up and missing out on him, maybe never have that chance again. Well, lets just say I didn't have to pee anymore, and I let him get up first and I kept my bag in front of me or behind me whichever was most needed. No one ever knew!!

      As for Rachel, I have some good ideas. girlfriend, you gotta e-mail me, mayre_p4@yahoo.com. Anyway, I often wear doark shorts or a skirt, and its easy to hide an accident or a on purpose that way. Also, a good thing it to get wet however you can, like spilling water on yourself, or faking it, making your whole shorts or pants wet so the wet spot is not noticable, fall or slip in a puddle, stream, or pool, or even in the snow, and blame the wet on that, or just a sink or hose to spalsh water around your wet spot so it looks like something other than pee.

      Hope these help!

    • profile image

      Awesome 5 years ago

      Thank you Lord for the Hub

    • Robert Erich profile image
      Author

      Robert Erich 5 years ago from California

      That's a great question! I would say your best bet is to wet your pants in the comfort of your own home or room - that way, no one else ever knows! ;)

    • profile image

      rachel wilsone 5 years ago

      whate if you licke peeing your pantse and you go on purpise howe do you keep it frome beeing noticabule

    • Robert Erich profile image
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      Robert Erich 5 years ago from California

      Thanks lindacee! I'm glad you enjoyed the read. And I'm glad Depends in creating a product to solve this very serious (in a joking way) issue.

    • lindacee profile image

      lindacee 5 years ago from Arizona

      Hoot of a Hub! The Depend people must have read your Hub and seized on the opportunity to market their product to a new demo. Now they have a commercial featuring football players and absorbing undergarments designed to fit comfortably under a pair of jeans. :/

    • Robert Erich profile image
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      Robert Erich 5 years ago from California

      Kent Bob, that sounds like a novel idea. Why not just soak them through and through? My only concern would be having to wait for a couple hours while they dry.

    • profile image

      Kent Bob 5 years ago

      When i get a wet spot on my tie.. i wet the whole tie. Poof.. dry tie.. can you soak all your pants in the sink in the bathroom?

    • Robert Erich profile image
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      Robert Erich 5 years ago from California

      I'm glad you enjoyed! Good luck with life's many struggles.

    • Millionaire Tips profile image

      Shasta Matova 5 years ago from USA

      This is great - another situation for which I will be prepared.

    • Robert Erich profile image
      Author

      Robert Erich 5 years ago from California

      @DzyMsLizzy: You are incredibly funny and insightful. I am certainly looking forward to reading your entertaining articles! Thanks for commenting and have a great day.

      @leenamarth: the comment you quoted was supposed to say "Actually, this ARTICLE was written after someone read another one of my articles and stated that it made her wet her pants from laughing". I apologize for the poorly written previous comment. ;)

    • leenamartha profile image

      Leena Martha 5 years ago from USA

      Actually, this comment came after someone read another article and said it made them laugh....

    • DzyMsLizzy profile image

      Liz Elias 5 years ago from Oakley, CA

      Hahahaha! Yes, as I've aged, the problem has arisen, although never (knock on wood) to to a full emptying..only an "oopps! Warning! Warning! Get thee to a toilette!" situation. There is a medical term for wetting oneself while laughing/coughing/ sneezing: "stress incontinence." And you are right--it's far more common among women. Luckily for us, they now make tidy little and aptly-named, "bladder control pads," to forestall a full-on embarassment.

      However, I do like the peeing dog or handy drinking fountain dodge. ;-)

      There is another possible culprit involved in the "while asleep" moistening, and it can be downright ugly. This usually happens when you need to go, but you are so tired that you don't wake in time, and simply dream you are in the appropriate spot, and waken to discover Nature's dirty trick.

      Other times, you may wake in time, by virtue of a crazy dream in which you have to "go" but something is always very oddly wrong with the facilty. You then awaken to discover that the dream was trying to tell you something, thus leaving you time to actually get to the correct room of the house. ;-)

      But the best advice remains, as you wisely suggested--remember what you mother taught you, and "Go to the bathroom before you leave the house!"

      Well done, and you've got a new follower. Voted up, funny, & shared

    • Robert Erich profile image
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      Robert Erich 5 years ago from California

      Thanks Joe! Actually, this comment came after someone read another article and said it made them laugh so hard they almost wet their pants - and I thought "aha!"

    • joecseko profile image

      Joe Cseko jr 5 years ago from New York, USA, Earth

      Voted up. WHERE did you get the inspiration to write this piece? Flexibility is what you have, sir. Oh, and my apologies for my behavior :)

    • Robert Erich profile image
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      Robert Erich 5 years ago from California

      @bettybarnesb, I'm glad you made in home! Many are not as fortunate... haha. Thanks for the comment, have a great day.

    • bettybarnesb profile image

      bettybarnesb 5 years ago from Bartlett, TN

      Hi Robert! Truly, it has almost happened to me. Recently, i was in the in line at the store and "boy" was I dancing wait to get checked out. I made it home but bearly. Good article.

      Be Blessed

    • Robert Erich profile image
      Author

      Robert Erich 5 years ago from California

      That's hilarious Ercolano. You truly have a talent. And yes, Hubpages has a plethora of topics. It's great to have this much flexibility in what you can write.

    • Ercolano profile image

      Sam Walker 5 years ago

      Hmmm never fails to amaze me what people think to write about. Who knew there could be so many tips on this widespread problem. Very funny, but I think I might just stick to my Depends for Adults. I have a good friend Vanessa, and I can always, always make her pee her pants, without fail. Last year in Vegas, she had to go knickerless, having discarded them in the Venetian because of the hilarity we were having walking down the street. Very good. Well done, and very nicely presented.

    • Robert Erich profile image
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      Robert Erich 5 years ago from California

      Yep Kara, I know you loved that magical moment in Majuro... lol. Good times for sure - I bet we could get a lot of entertaining stories and philosophies out of that year.

    • profile image

      Kara Ackerman 5 years ago

      All I could think about while reading this were the rocks and small bowl that one night in Majuro. . .not really a wetting your pants story, but pretty much just as good - at least in my memory.

    • Robert Erich profile image
      Author

      Robert Erich 5 years ago from California

      Hahaha! Thanks Robin. She definitely did wet her pants... Maybe I'll try sending this article to her as fan mail. Some prep for the next concert.

    • writingfrosh profile image

      writingfrosh 5 years ago from Philippines

      @Robin, thanks for the link, I did not know about that, too bad for Fergie, it is quite difficult to hide that though...

    • Robin profile image

      Robin Edmondson 5 years ago from San Francisco

    • Simone Smith profile image

      Simone Haruko Smith 5 years ago from San Francisco

      Next time I wet my pants from laughing too hard, I'll know what to do!

    • Denise Handlon profile image

      Denise Handlon 5 years ago from North Carolina

      @Robin: WHAT???!!! I haven't heard about that one, NO WAY, LOL

    • Robert Erich profile image
      Author

      Robert Erich 5 years ago from California

      @Denise: I'm glad you were entertained! And yes, you ladies do have a one up on us men - "a la natural" seems like a smart move. And great description of those hand-driers, I know the exact ones you're talking about. I'm pretty sure they could dry you off after a shower in a matter of seconds. lol

      @Robin: Thanks! And yes, unfortunately for Fergie, she didn't make the necessary preparatory planning... Hopefully the rest of us can learn from her mistake! lol. Thanks for reading and have a great day.

    • Robin profile image

      Robin Edmondson 5 years ago from San Francisco

      Very funny! It reminded me of Fergie of the Black Eyed Peas wetting herself on-stage. Poor thing will never live that down. This is incredibly useful for new moms, too! Cheers!

    • Denise Handlon profile image

      Denise Handlon 5 years ago from North Carolina

      LOL I laughed so hard I peed my pants!

      Seriously-I was laughing out loud, Robert. Great humor here and especially since it is true life.

      Well, there is one solution for ladies who wear dresses-remove the wet pants and leave them in the trash then go a la natural! LOL

      If no dress: take a friend to the b.r. with you, post her / him outside of the bathroom and have them 'guard' the door prohibiting anyone from entering while you remove the wet pants and blow dry them. It works double quick with those ultra forceful blow dryers that try to take your skin off when you use them, LOL

      voted up/funny/useful!

    • Robert Erich profile image
      Author

      Robert Erich 5 years ago from California

      @Steve: haha! I hope you don't have any more elementary school experiences after you retire... And yes, it's something you rarely forget - so it's best to be prepared! lol.

    • Steve LePoidevin profile image

      Steve LePoidevin 5 years ago from Thailand

      This may come in useful as I am nearing retirement age lol. Oops be back in a minute! Still remember giving a speech in front of the class in elementary school and ...yep you guessed it...nervousness overcame self-control!

    • Robert Erich profile image
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      Robert Erich 5 years ago from California

      I am very happy you all enjoyed this. I was hoping to provide people with a laugh while discussing an issue that has been avoided for far too long...

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      Cathy 5 years ago from Louisiana, Idaho, Kauai, Nebraska, South Dakota, Missouri

      First thing I actually was able to sit down and read after a long day at work. Very, very creative and witty and intriguing and touched with some satire. Very imaginative subject. Thanks so much. Keep on with the writing.

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      Jean Bakula 5 years ago from New Jersey

      Good one! I know the location of every bathroom everywhere! Really! You never know......Thanks for the funny and realistic hub that we all have to face at one time or other.

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      Elizabeth James 5 years ago

      Laughing to hard..............

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      f2pmmorpgs 5 years ago

      Nice hub! I will try out these tips for sure

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      Author

      Robert Erich 5 years ago from California

      Hahaha. Thanks TToombs08! I will have to check out your hubs here too. And great display picture with the horse. Have a great day!

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      Terrye Toombs 5 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map.

      Tooooo funny, Robert! Love it! Now I have to go read your other hubs! :o)

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      Author

      Robert Erich 5 years ago from California

      Thanks everyone for the comments. I'm glad you enjoyed! And I definitely hope that this savings you from some rather embarrassing situations in the future...

      @Ardie, hahaha. Yes! That story is hilarious. I didn't even consider the plethora of ways that ones pants could be wetted by OTHERS. Oh man. And thanks for the compliments - you're an incredible motivator!

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      Sondra 5 years ago from Neverland

      Oh my word! I just did it again :) This is by far THE funniest thing I've read in AGES. I love the serious overall tone of the hub with the subtle humor.

      True story - my best friend peed MY pants one night...yes, it's possible. We passed out drunk, she woke up to pee, put on the wrong pants (MINE) that were too small for her, got stuck half in/half out of them, couldn't move and peed MY PANTS! I'm voting this up and sharing to my Facebook :) Excellent, excellent, excellent.

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      Jodi Sykes 5 years ago

      I have had this happen a few times from fits of laughter! Great Hub!

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      Elaina Grinias 5 years ago

      This is actually pretty funny. I really enjoyed reading this. My cousin laughed a little too hard once while we were at a graduation party. This article would have came in handy. haha!

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      writingfrosh 5 years ago from Philippines

      Great hub! Hilarious way of presenting a potentially embarrassing situation.. :)

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      thesingernurse 5 years ago from Rizal, Philippines

      Hahaha! Very nice hub dude. The idea is like nursing a potential incontinence. :)