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If He Wears A Skirt, Who Wears The Pants?

Updated on March 17, 2010

Now here's a question that besieges men who like to wear skirts and other items of women's clothing, if a man is wearing a skirt, who wears the pants? Is it the woman? Is the woman to be forced to wear the pants? What if the woman doesn't want to wear the pants? Clearly, in any relationship, there can only be one skirt and one pair of pants, it has been that way since time immemorial, indeed, many scientists believe that the big bang erupted into a pair of pants and a skirt, from these two natural elements, all other things are derived. If one wishes, one can create a new atomic model, where protons become pants and electrons become skirts and skirts rotate at high speed around the central sphere of pants.

If men wear skirts, women will be forced to wear pants. And then what?! Will women also be forced to put up shelves, grow beards and learn to drive? Well I never! The next thing you'll be telling me is that women are to be expected to receive education in subjects other than sewing and the piano and go out into the workforce where they will be forced to learn how masculine machinery works.

If men wear skirts, the entire fabric of society breaks down. It is dreadfully important that we keep the gender lines clear. Little girls will play with dolls and be taught how to smile whilst they plot the downfall of other little girls, and little boys will be given trucks and taught how to punch other little boys in the face.

For little girls are made of sugar and spice and little boys are made of puppy dog's tails. Which makes no sense, of course, but sense and reason cannot be our guides in these matters. Instead we must be guided by convention and a deep seated sense of guilt and self loathing.

It is important that men are taught to act like proper men and women to act as proper women. Men must wear pants, smoke tobacco and wear slippers after work. Women must have a preference for pastel colors, enjoy cooking dinner and feel shivers of delight when they are permitted to do the dishes.

This is how a great society is made, by forcing every member to dress, think, and behave in predetermined ways that turn thinking human beings into units that function with the efficiency of an ant colony shortly before petroleum is poured on it.


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      8 years ago

      I think men in skirts should look as nice as possible. And that means no hair legs or mannish looks. ewwww...

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      8 years ago

      Maybe he can wear BOTH a dress and Pants, but it gets hot in the summer. Women used to wear pants called "bloomers" under dresses. And women still wear shortened versions of pants under dresses, called "panties".

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      8 years ago

      The big bang erupted in a pair of pants and a skirt? Oh my, I'd never have imagined that.

      Your humour is awesome!

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      Remember, in the words of T.H.White: "All things not forbidden are mandatory. All things not mandatory are forbidden."


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