ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Oversized Onassis Sunglasses | Be An Instant 10!

Updated on June 23, 2010
New School...
New School...
Old School...
Old School...

Sometimes we want to look good, but our faces didn't get that memo. You know how it is, you spend 56 hours straight watching E! and by the end of it, you're almost convinced that you too are a beautiful little starlet, flitting amongst your incredibly handsome and gorgeous celebrity friends. Then you happen to glance at a reflective surface and become instantly crushed that you have not had the benefit of three hours of professional hair and make up making you look your best.

Never mind! There is a way to transform yourself from a mere mortal into a glamor queen in an instant, and that's by putting on a pair of sunglasses that instantly cover your face, not to mention, cover the flaws the good Lord saw fit to bless you with. (God may have created the world in 6 days, but would it have killed him to spend a little time on your face instead of wasting all that time planting fossils to confuse creationists?)

Onassis glasses (originally worn by Jackie Onassis back in the 1960's) are the perfect glasses for women who don't want the world to see who they really are. Today, these sunglasses are worn by celebrities, teenagers, middle aged mothers with three children and a gambling habit that's slowly tearing the family apart, pretty much everyone. If you're not wearing them then you're not only exposing your eyes and the skin around them to dangerous UV radiation from the giant ball of fire that hangs in the sky, but to cruel observation from fellow humans who may see your face and feel compelled to blog about it on their iPads.

'Well that's great, Hope,' you might say, 'But what about the rest of my face? How can I cleverly use accessories and make up to hide from the world in plain sight like a fashionable ninja?' That's a very good question, and fortunately, one that I have the answer to.

If you want to complete the look, try some bold lipstick, which will distract attention from the small portion of your face not yet covered by the sunglasses. When you have your sunglasses on and your lipstick is firmly applied, you will instantly become totally indistinguishable from the hordes of hipsterish lasses out there. Remember to wear some leggings as pants and compliment them with an oversized t-shirt to complete the look. Oh and straighten your hair. Curls still aren't back in yet. Boo.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)