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Sexy Bodystockings: Do's and Don'ts

Updated on August 24, 2011

I am a very big fan of bodystockings. So much so, I’m always amazed when I meet a woman who’s never owned one. These babies can look good on almost any body type, and every female should have one in her lingerie collection. That said, not all bodystockings are created equal – some of them are just plain hideous. Seriously, I’ve seen some that couldn’t possibly redeem themselves, even on a Bardot-like body.

Therefore, I’m going to give you a basic guide for sorting through the uglies. If you're a man, it may be in your best interest to keep reading - bodystockings are very inexpensive gifts and are, essentially, one size fits all. Which means, if you get a classic style, she will probbaly love it. Unfortunately, most of the pictoral examples I'd like to share with you aren't really suitable for all viewers, so I'll leave you to google "bodystockings" if you'd like to see the really hot stuff.

Certainly, some of you could pull off most of the styles and colors available. This article isn’t for you. This article is for the average Jane who wants a classic look that will look good on her no matter what, enduring slight weight fluctuations and water retention that us non-supermodels have to put up with every month. There are 4 major bodystocking materials: Sheer, Opaque, Fishnet, and Lace.

Sheer

These are my personal favorite for a variety of reasons. Typically fashioned from nylonesque materials, they tend to feel lovely. Better still, they do the same thing for your body that pantyhose does for your legs – they cast a sexy shadow and give a man a glimpse of what lies beneath, without showing too much.

The result is far sexier than just strutting around in something completely see-through. Men like to be teased, taunted and invited to discover more on their own. In addition, most women are not comfortable prancing around in something entirely see-through. This is an excellent way to show your body off and still feel semi-clothed – which means you will be far less inhibited than you might be with other types of lingerie.

Opaque

I’m not too enthusiastic about opaque.

I’ve seen a few I’d describe as appealing, but for the most part, they remind me of something you might expect to see in Mary Lou Retton’s underwear drawer.

If you really want to wear this style, save yourself some moolah and buy a leotard from your local gym, cos I think they have about the same measure of sex appeal.

Note: There ARE some sexy opaque bodystockings out there, and you might be the proud owner of one – but for the masses, I recommend against these.

Fishnet

Fishnets can be pretty sexy. They can also be pretty unattractive, especially if the size is slightly too small. Have you ever seen those cuts of ham with the cord wound tightly around it? Yeah, that’s what you’re gonna look like if you’re not careful. No, I’m not saying avoid these. I’m saying pay attention. You want something that doesn’t dig into your skin. Cos even a skinny girl can look like she’s got some pudge popping out of a tight fishnet, and that is not sexy.

Lace

These look fantastic, but tend to itch like hell. I had one I loved, loved, loved, but I couldn’t stand having it on for more than 20 minutes. I know what you’re thinking – it’s supposed to come off, anyway. Well, let me just tell you how difficult it is to feel sexy when all you want to do is scratch every inch of your body. I recommend against this style, unless you have very tolerant skin.

  • Sleeveless: These look best when the lines are simple. Don’t go for something with 50 crisscrossing straps, that will just be ridiculous. You want his attention drawn to your breasts, not the straps holding them up.

  • Open back vs Closed back: Unless you really don’t like idea of having your back exposed, I’d recommend open backed. Women don’t always realize the appeal this area can have for men. If he’s kissing you and puts his arms around you, it’s far more sexy for him if his hands come in contact with your skin, as opposed to just the material covering it.

  • Patterns: Some patterns, as you often see in the lace and fishnet styles, can be very distracting. They can also be unflattering. I’ve seen a few that make me feel like I’m looking at an M.C. Escher piece. Do you really want to give your man a headache as you’re climbing into bed? Choose your pattern carefully!

  • Cost: Bodystockings tend to be cheap. You can get them for 10-20 bucks a lot of the time. No doubt the sexpots have already sussed why… if the event was worth remembering, the bodystocking was probably ripped off. Which makes the price very convenient! I recommend buying several, just in case.

  • My brand recommendation: Leg Avenue - they are inexpensive and have the best selection I have seen. So there you go, Isabella’s guide to bodystockings. I truly believe most women can pull these off if they put a little effort into selecting them. Now, go get sexy, ladies!

Other things to consider:

  • Color: You cannot go wrong with black. Red, maybe. MAYBE. But only if you’re a bona fide sex kitten and have the body to match. White, eh, ok. You can probably pull this off, but remember white makes you look larger.

  • Intact vs Crotchless: I’m sure we can all see the merits in the crotchless variety – but I can’t say I find the style sexy. If you want to let it all hang out, go for it. Most women tend to feel uncomfortable with that, so they wear a pair of panties under it. Let me tell you, it’s not so easy to find a pair of panties that really look sexy under a bodystocking.

  • Peekaboo: This is just stupidly unsexy and makes me wrinkle my nose every time I see women modeling this. Peekaboo breasts are silly. Do you want your man thinking you’re sexy, or silly?

  • Full and ¾ Sleeved: These are my personal favorite, only because I feel most comfortable in them. I like the occasional sleeveless, but its rare I find something of that nature appealing. Just make sure they don’t fit you like a gym leotard, you don’t want it too tight against your wrist and ankles, or you’ll look a bit strange.

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