Looking Good or Being Good - Which is Better?
Look Good Outside or Feel Good Inside - Which is Better
Does it matter whether or not you feel good on the inside as long as you look good on the outside?
It is real easy in today's world to think that the way you look matters most. Look around and see what the focus is on...TV ads show the gorgeous gals and guys...young, slim and tanned. The subtle message is... this is how you look when you are successful, popular and attractive, but I have yet to see an ad focus on how kind someone is, or how much fun they are to be with.
Which one do you think would be more important to you..your friend looking good, or being good to be with?
Let's take a look at what attributes are present when the focus is on 'Looks' versus 'Personality' ...
Looks vs Personality
Focus on Outside:
Focus on Inside:
Hair style, colour
Learning - education
Body shape - cosmetic surgery
Body weight - weight loss
Good communication skills
Sense of humor
Caring for self and others
Be yourself, know who you are
Thoughtful of others
Takes time to develop
Not Everyone is Blessed with Looking Good
On the same Dr Phil show, was a lady who had been changing the way she looked for most of her life with all kinds of cosmetic surgery. Admittedly at one point in her life, she had a real need for plastic surgery (as she had begun life as someone we would all call attractive) and she had been beaten and had her face severely damaged.
But there are those of us who might be considered plain or perhaps even a bit ugly, and we might be forgiven for wanting to change the way we look.
Is this something that needs to be done surgically though? Will continually focusing on how we look really satisfy the need to be liked and to be happy with who we are as a person?
Someone once said, " If you're gorgeous when you are young it's not because of anything you've done, but if you are gorgeous when you are older, it's all because of you!"
And..."There is no excuse for any women to look ugly...if she does, it's because she's lazy."
What I think these sayings are saying is that your looks are greatly affected by who you are on the inside, (which anyone can achieve) and that with modern beauty techniques anyone can maximize their 'good bits' and look good (it doesn't need to take much).
Looking Good - What's Important to Me
What is more important to you - how you look or how you feel, or both?
Outside and Inside - Looks and Personality
Yes, we can change how we look and we can get stuck there too.
But... attractiveness is not always about how we look on the outside..
What actually makes a person attractive?
Is it her spotless skin or her generous smile?
Is it the shape of her eyes, or is it the twinkle in them when she sees you?
Is it her perfect hour glass figure... or her heart for those much less fortunate than her?
Some would say that Julia Roberts was not the classic beauty, her mouth appears to be too wide and had she been a mean resentful person, it would have certainly changed her face to be quite ugly (what is in your heart comes out in your face), but because of the other attributes I've mentioned above, she is one very gorgeous looking person...
I believe that what truly matters is what is on the inside, who you are, what you think and how you care for yourself and those around you.
Every person on this planet is different in some way, shape or form, and each person has something to contribute in their life. Every one of us will influence at least one other person in the world - be it for good or bad - and therefore we all have value, we all have something of value to give away.
It is easy to think, and believe, that some of the things others can and will say about us are true, but really... ask yourself if what they say actually makes sense. What others say usually tells us more about them than us... and this is one thought for you to hold onto.
Look at it this way...what is it you most think about? - "What do others think about ME?"
Someone who says something negative about me, may be struggling with that very thing in their own life... They say that the things that bug us most about other people, are the things that we do not like in ourselves...another thought to hold onto.
Always ask yourself why someone would say what they do? What is in it for them, to point out your failings for example... or something else...
Those who learn to truly love themselves ( and not in a 'big-headed' way) will ultimately learn how to truly love others. Imagine how that will make that other person feel...to know and experience that you love them.
Find the special 'jewels' that are placed in your 'crown,' the special things about you that make you unique and precious to others, and you will discover that looking good will become a part of feeling good about yourself, and that when you focus only on looking good, you will eventually lose even that.