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Men's Swimsuits: Some Things Never Change

Updated on April 26, 2012
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Unlike women, most guys don't care THAT much about what they wear when swimming. I guess the one thing they DO care about the most is the amount of exposure their groin area has to avoid those embarrassing moments when the elements combine to create a hard-on. It happens without much warning and when it does, depending on the swimsuit, can be AWKWARD! Sure, the opposite sex no doubt notices and grins while trying not to stare. Other than that one item, most men consider length of the suit and pattern.

If the awkward moment occurs while in a bikini or brief swimsuit style (think Speedo), well, because of the material, it is nearly full exposure depending on the size and hardness. A quick dip into cold water will solve that! Using your towel also helps. Those swimsuits expose most of the man's body. Back 20+ years ago, men who wore them were stereotyped as being queer. Yeah, it was a stereotype.

Then, there are the long, baggy board suits that are excessive in length (think 1-2 inches BELOW the knee). Heck, you might as well long pants! I've have always hated those because they look ridiculous and take forever to dry. No thanks.

The short swimsuit, popular in the 60-70s, remain a decent choice. These suits are much shorter with the hem a good four inches above the knee, cut square, unlike the brief suit, which is similar to underwear in cut. The more popular are the suits I call "surfer suits". They usually have a hem about at the knee or 1-2" above it, which is a good length. They have tie strings in front with zipper-like seam. Most of these are made narrow in the leg to prevent ballooning when getting in the water. Another good suit for those with "love handles" in the gut area are suits with elastic waist bands. The elastic band will allow expansion and make your handles not appear to be that bad.

At the extreme end are swimsuits that simply barely cover the man's groin area with a small fabric cup and connected by a tie string. Like for women, any guy wearing these in public are simply doing for attraction. But since for both women and men, it is the body that makes the swimsuit look more appealing, this may not be a good thing.

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    • perrya profile image
      Author

      perrya 6 years ago

      I agree with the previous two.

    • profile image

      Hans 6 years ago

      Also, I have to admit that speedos can't really hide an accidental boner; I usually either flee in the water, or start tanning my back, but calling me gay for this... I don't get it.

      I think shorts beat swimsuit only at the "boner-hiding" category. For things like tanning and swimming speedos are definitely better. Too bad they`re gay :)

    • profile image

      Hans 6 years ago

      I'm from eastern Europe, and when I went to work as a lifeguard in USA, it was my first time there, so I didn't know speedos are considered gay. On top of that, I was kind of athletic and my whole body was shaved to the skin, so...

      So, in order to express my true sexuality I had to buy a new shorts. Cool!

      In my country there is nothing wrong about being athletic and wearing comfortable-for-swimming garments, while on the beach. I don't understand why people prejudice about that. Swimming with loose shorts, I feel like bubbles all around my arse, and that's definitely not good for swimming.

      Also, I want to ask what is the big deal in exposing partly my bits? On the beach, exposed female breasts are exposed on a regular basis these days... Or at least where I live. What about those bits? Or, what about old obese women, brimming over with "bits"?!

      P.S.: never really studied the language thoroughly, so don't mention it. Studied it mostly from Hollywood movies. Hastalavista, I'll be back (badASSery expression)

    • perrya profile image
      Author

      perrya 6 years ago

      Ha, ha, ha

    • profile image

      Cindy 6 years ago

      Yes, Buck, speedos are an integral part of the gay costume. But far from being just stretchy beach attire, speedos form an essential part of gay communication. In fact, you might say that speedos are like a homosexual CNN.

      It works like this: The minute gay men get off work, they change into their speedos and head over to the nearest gay neighborhood. There the streets are filled with other men similarly clad. The men separate like the sexes at an Amish dance: the dominant men (known as "Butch" in the gay community) on one side, the submissives ("Mary") on the other.

    • profile image

      Buck 6 years ago

      I fear you may be one of those butt pirates perrya.

    • profile image

      Buck 6 years ago

      Ok, just 99.9%

    • perrya profile image
      Author

      perrya 6 years ago

      men in speedos are not always gay, LOL

    • profile image

      Buck 6 years ago

      And why are you spending so much time checking out what guys wear?

    • profile image

      Buck 6 years ago

      It's not a stereotype. Men who wear Speedos are in fact gay.

    • teaches12345 profile image

      Dianna Mendez 6 years ago

      Interesting view on men's (and women's swimsuits). We live near the ocean and see lots of different styles out there. As you mention, they peron makes the suit even better.

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