No Man In Lingerie Is An Island
Since I have begun exploring the themes of gender and dress, I've occasionally received feedback from readers who are disappointed at the breadth of the issues these articles cover. 'I thought this was just for men who liked lingerie' is the most common of their refrains.
Men who fall into this category get their panties in a knot every time issues like wearing women's outerwear or gender neutral people arise. The sentiment behind their annoyance is that they don't like being lumped in with 'the others', the others being men who wear women's clothing obviously and openly, who sometimes wear make up and wigs and who occasionally embrace their feminine sides.
Some men who wear lingerie believe that because they 'only' wear lingerie, they're somehow different than the 'freaks' who wear women's clothing. I doubt I need to point out how much a case of the pot calling the kettle black that is.
Just because you've restricted your activities to one particular style of woman's clothing does not mean that you are not, by the definition which you use to define others a 'cross dresser'. The fact that we have a term 'cross dresser' and that it usually only applies to men and not women, is, in itself a sign of bigotry. If I go out wearing a man's jeans and hoodie, I'm not called a cross dresser. If my boyfriend goes out in a skirt, suddenly he has crossed a line. Buying into that silly, silly idea and using it to try and defend your behavior is counter productive.
It's bad enough when these senseless and hurtful stereotypes are perpetuated by people who are 'normal dressers'. I can understand that, because its simply a norm they have no reason to challenge. But when men who know exactly what it is like to want to wear women's clothing demonize and try to separate themselves out from other men who wear different kinds of women's clothing, then I'm saddened. Saddened because you would think that if having the desire to wear women's clothing taught a guy anything, it would be that it is okay to wear whatever you want. Instead however, there are some men who are still deluding themselves that panties are okay, but anything else is 'weird'. Get over yourselves.
You're not 'better' because you've fixated on lingerie rather than skirts, okay? You're not 'better' because you don't have a feminine alter ego. You're not helping matters by tearing other men down to try and make yourself more normal. It's childish, immature and does nothing for you (aside from make you look like a jerk.)