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Rihanna Dresses Like A Man Dressing Like A Woman Dressing Like A Moth

Updated on May 7, 2009

10 points to anyone who can tell me what this is...

This has to be a homage to the great Julie Andrews, surely. That, or a joke designed to confuse Chris Brown's manhood and hopefully redirect his rage towards the nearest creature that actually looks female. Perhaps a blow up doll, or a river full of crocodiles. Preferably the latter rather than the former.

In a previous article I mentioned my theory that all fashion designers deserve to be headbutted, well, here's further proof of that particular concept, if you needed any. Rihanna stepped out onto the red carpet recently wearing an andrgynous ensemble that looked not unlike a suit which had unfortunately been stretched by its previous owner – Mothra, the giant moth creature. The reasons behind the outfit were unclear, but unless there was hydraulic machinery in the shoulder giving her the strength of a hundred men, I'd say it was probably overkill.

It's a fashion disaster, isn't it? Or perhaps, it is simply a cunning ploy to draw attention away from all the attention given to her recent unfortunate and disgusting domestic violence incident. Perhaps Rihanna now plans to wear anything fashion designers / stylists / blind clowns / homeless people on street corners throw at her.

But I jest, really I do, because heck, why not? If men can wear panties, then Rihanna can certainly wear.. whatever this thing is. She actually looks rather stunning in it. In fact, I think she may have just heralded in the 21st century that we've all been waiting for.

Sure, it would nice to have gotten jet packs, or even a hover car, but young female starlets wearing silver make up and dressing in outfits which were clearly designed somewhere outside our usual space time continuim will have to do.

I only hope that this trend does not catch on like the big sunglasses did. Contending with hordes teen girls clogging the streets with oversized eyewear is one thing, if they all start picking up jackets with these types of shoulders, well, public transportation is doomed. Doomed I tell you.

(If the reference to Julie Andrews was in any way unclear, please note that I refer to her groundbreaking role in Victor / Victoria, in which a young, down on her luck singer is convinced by an older gay man to pretend to be a man pretending to be a woman in order to make some money in Paris, where that sort of thing did rather well. If you haven't seen it, I highly advise it. Romance, crossdressing and bugs in salads, there's something in it for everyone.)


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      8 years ago

      "10 points to anyone who can tell me what this is..."

      Hmmm... The seemstress got confused between the trouser legs and the jacket sleeves?


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