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Saucy Spy Lingerie | GPS Tracking Lingerie

Updated on November 22, 2009
Look at the manic smile she has on her face, just knowing her every move is being monitored.
Look at the manic smile she has on her face, just knowing her every move is being monitored.
Oh wait, the marketing picture doesn't have the ugly black rectangle of the GPS unit in it, I wonder why?
Oh wait, the marketing picture doesn't have the ugly black rectangle of the GPS unit in it, I wonder why?

Brazilian lingerie company LindeLucy Lingerie has released the next generation of lingerie, lingerie that not only makes the wearer look alluring, but that tracks the wearer anywhere on the globe via the use of GPS technology. The line, called “Catch Me If You Can” and not “Hunt Me Down And Take Me” or “Arrrggh! There's A Decapitated Sheep's Head In My Bed, How Does My Psycho Ex Keep Finding Me?” is apparently a playful nod to the insane surveillance society we're moving towards living in. Once we're all RFID chipped, this sort of thing is going to look so clunky and last millennium, it's almost embarrassing really. If you're going to buy GPS tracking lingerie for a girlfriend or wife, save yourselves both the trouble and just have her tagged and tattooed next time you go to the vet.

But back to this tracking lingerie business. The designer, Lucia Lorio says: "This collection is a wink to women and a challenge to men because, even if she gives him the password to her GPS, she can always turn it off. She can be found only if she wants to [be]."

This, of course, assumes that there is no way for men to buy the lingerie, turn the GPS on and give it to the lady in question without her actually knowing that it is there. There are few pictures of this lingerie as yet, but I would imagine that the GPS device is not a large black box located at the front of the knickers with the words 'GPS Tracking Device' and flashing lights all over it.

Being vaguely journalistic, I tried to find a picture of this alleged lingerie on the website, which, I warn you in advance, will play Elton John and Bryan Adams at obnoxiously loud levels through your speakers, and which seems to be largely made in Portugese, just perfect for the international market. No sign of the GPS lingerie there as yet. Maybe it's all a lie and a scam.

Wait, I found actual pictures from the AP and it turns out I was wrong, it is a massive black box after all. How very very stylish.

I don't know in what insane, yet deliciously twisted mind the act of handing over an electronic leash could be considered 'a wink to women and a challenge to men,' but I can tell you right now that this will come in very handy when I try to keep tabs on my international army of panty clad men. It's been so hard sending satellites and spy goats after them thus far.

(Thanks to Manny for sending me this tip.)

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