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Snow White Dresses | Because Feminism Sucks

Updated on December 1, 2009
I'm useless without a man...
I'm useless without a man...

Snow White is a tale for the ages. It represents the value of beauty and purity, and reinforces the way that ugly people will always try and bring pretty girls down. It's a hard world to live in when you're a beautiful woman, and I'm just glad that we have fairy tales to impress the value of looking good on impressionable young females who will one day grow up to feel insecure about their looks and be hyper focused on beauty only to find that they are put out to pasture at the age of 25, when younger, hotter women come along.

If I was a parent, I would leap at the chance to dress my small child in clothing that affirms the importance of shallow beauty, and the misogynistic idea that every pretty woman is simply a waste of space until her Prince Charming comes along and saves her. In the meantime, of course, before she finds her prince, she should not be above consorting with multiple partners with epic personality disorders. She should befriend people who are chronically angry (Grumpy), who suffer from narcolepsy (Sleepy) , incredibly stupid people (Dopey), manic people(Happy), ones who are chronically ill (Sneezy), and shy and intellectual types (Bashful and Doc) just to round off all the dysfunction. A child that hasn't learned the value of living in a commune rife with testosterone and serving the whims of its male inhabitants has missed out on a valid life lesson.

So yes, why not purchase a Snow White dress for your child? She can enjoy imaging how fun it would be to be a real princess with no real skills apart from being pretty and kind. Allow her to escape from the horrid real world in which her intellect and various skills and talents might have to be put to some use for her to achieve anything of any note, into a lovely fantasy land in which lying down on her back and being found by a rich man will propel her into a lifetime of love and riches.

Some people might say that fairy tales are outmoded and perhaps even dangerous as they teach girls the fact that they are essentially useless and perhaps even evil if they are not pretty, but those people are idiots who will no doubt have children who grow up to poison pretty people with apples.

Buy a Snow White dress for your little vapid princess today!


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    • Philipo profile image

      Philipo 8 years ago from Nigeria

      Nice hub. Very interesting from the beginning to the end.

    • Hope Alexander profile image

      Hope Alexander 8 years ago

      Because Snow White was a useless retard and not a fit role model for female or male children.

    • profile image

      pauls_boat 8 years ago

      very funny but why no snow white dresses for your little boy if he wants one?