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Cheap High Fashion, Socks And High Heels

Updated on April 6, 2010

Socks and sandals are a no no, socks and jandals are a hell no, but socks and heels might just be the next big thing, if copying whatever Rihanna does could be considered 'the next big thing' in any universe. Here we see Rihanna rocking a pair of high heel pumps with metallic socks that sort of kind of match the pumps in a contrasting sort of way and make her feet sparkle like someone who is 1/64th Edward Cullen vampire.

Many fashion bloggers stopped there, but I am more intrepid than they. I am not afraid to travel thighward and see what else comprises this candy pink outfit of potential doom

In this picture we can also see her wearing what is most certainly a dress with shoulder pads, as if Rihanna had somehow been transported backwards through time to the 80's, stayed just long enough to wrench the shoulder pads from a coked out business woman still wearing them (she would have stopped Rihanna, but she had to use both her hands to hold onto the brick like cell phone she was using at the time,) and then was transported back to warp the minds of children who vote and watch things like the Nickelodeon Kid's Choice Awards, which, lets face it, is just a way of making sure kiddies are indoctrinated into watching pointless award shows in which celebrities gleefully inhale each others flatus for a good three hours.

Note too, the cross displayed prominently between that deep cleavage that manages to be simultaneously rather inappropriate and yet also some how demure. It's always good to cash in on the God crowd, even if the only way you do it is by wearing Christian paraphernalia in between performances of songs inappropriate for anyone under 16. 

If those shoulder ruffles were to fail for some reason, it would be an instant wardrobe malfunction. In fact, if those shoulder ruffles were to fail, we might see a corresponding unwinding in the space time continuum, because, as I mentioned before, Rihanna leads the world in quantum fashion. I did say that, didn't I?

At any rate, fashion pundits are picking up on the socks and heels look as being a potential winner. If they advertise the look around the time kids are taking their ADHD pills, it is sure to be a winner. There's no consumer like a consumer that's been drugged out of her mind since she was 8 years old.

Progress! Hell yeah!


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    • PerfumeFan profile image

      PerfumeFan 7 years ago from New Jersey

      The ankle high stocking with heels doesn't appeal to me that much. Let's see if this would indeed be the next big thing.