Sexy Summer Stockings and Shorts For Guys And Gals
Katie, you've done it again!
Cut off shorts and stockings are so in right now. How do I know? Well, Katie Holmes is wearing them, and much like her previous trend setting moves involving boyfriend jeans, Scientology and marrying rich older men, I know she's on to a good thing. Be honest with yourselves, who amongst us wouldn't marry the charismatic Tom Cruise and have his babies? Hmm? Anyone who ever watched Top Gun has harbored feelings of undeniable lust and longing since that fateful day sometime in the 80's, so don't pretend the religious zealotry puts you off. Religious zealotry is the black of the new millennium.
So anyway, if you're wondering what to wear this summer, if you happen to be sitting there absolutely paralyzed, unable to go outside to see what the cool kids are wearing, take my advice, slip into some stockings and desecrate the nearest pair of old jeans by turning them into hip shorts. If you team them up with high heels you may even look slightly glamorous, in a derelicte sort of way.
If you happen to be a man, you can also get in on this style by wearing slightly longer shorts (say ending just under the knee for that 'skater guy' look, or above the knee for that 'school boy professional' vibe. Slip some stockings on first of course, the whole look is pointless if you don't get any stockings on. Why not try a vibrant red, or eco green? Match the shoes to the shorts. If you were going for the ever young skater look, skate shoes will do, if your shorts are more corporate make your leather shine with kiwi shoe polish. World famous, that stuff is. Kiwis make the best shoe polish, but you have to make sure you dry them out properly first and pluck all the feathers.
Once you're wearing your stylish shorts and stockings combination, then what? Are you doomed to sit about sweating, waiting for the great fire ball in the sky to dip below the horizon? No! No I say!
Summer is a great time to cut your hair short, then regret it and spend the next three years growing it back, to have a summer romance with someone very inappropriate, to have Tom Cruise's baby, to go on the road and live as a hobo, to consolidate all your payments into one easy loan, to try Prozac, to try out for the local choir, to take up the ancient art of home brewing, to undermine the status quo, to get a tan, to avoid the sun, to swim with the dolphins, to become Lord of the flies, to become a vegetarian, to lose your religion, to find yourself, to overcome your ego and to collect nuts and berries for the winter.