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Suri Cruise Undermines Fashion As We Know It

Updated on August 18, 2010

Katie Holmes, owner of her entire fashion line, recently confessed that since her daughter was 18 months old, she's been acting as a fashion consultant both for her mother and herself.

Katie confessed the sorry state of affairs to New York Magazine, saying "Tom and I went to the Met ball a couple of years ago, and I had this beautiful red gown and these royal-blue shoes that I wasn't planning on wearing, but Suri made me put them on and so I was like, 'Okay, I trust you.'”

So basically, if you don't like what Katie Holmes is wearing, you can blame her toddler. And moreover, we can now all stop pretending like anybody in the fashion industry (aside from the seamstresses who are actually incredibly talented) actually knows anything about anything. When red carpet style can just as easily be dictated by a two year old as a highly paid consultant, you know your industry is floating along in a bubble just waiting to be burst.

Actually, that's probably a pretty good litmus test for any job. If you can easily be replaced by an over privileged toddler, then you should probably find another line of work, like pig farming. A two year old could never farm pigs. Two year olds are useless at farming pigs. If you don't put two year olds to shame every day of your adult life, you're probably doing it wrong.

Of course, Katie Holmes doesn't see it that way. Like all good mothers, Katie is probably convinced that her child is a blessed prodigy. Katie also revealed that "I grew up the youngest of five, so there were a lot of hand-me-downs that I would sort of change. And Suri and I do that now with her clothes. Or rather, she does it," said Holmes. "She says, 'I want this sleeve cut,' and it's like, 'Okay, we'll cut it.' She picks out all of her own clothes and has done since she was one and a half."

Most people couldn't afford to let their kids hack and slash at the clothes they slave to buy for them, but because Katie married one of the richest men in the world, she has the luxury of delusions about her daughter's talent more so than other souls who must crush their children's creative spirits so they don't shred $1500 worth of clothing before lunch time.

Life's just not fair.


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