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Bubble Skirts | Skirts For Men

Updated on October 16, 2009
Courtesy of Yahoo answers...
Courtesy of Yahoo answers...

Very few people know this, but the Apocalypse won't just be all about plagues and famine and tsunamis and other cheerless events. No. The majority of suffering is destined to be caused by fashion, or rather, the lack thereof.

Just as some people claim that Swine Flu and AIDS are signs that the biblical Apocalypse is nigh. (Because the evolution of viruses should always be attributed to a vengeful invisible man in the sky where possible.) I maintain that the bubble skirt is one sign of the fashion Apocalypse.

For those uninitiated, a bubble skirt is a skirt which is designed to puff out around the ass and thigh area of a woman, making her look less like a person and more like a toilet roll holder. Much like the infamous harem pants, they are capable of making any woman look fat. This is especially bad news for women of Caucasian, Negroid or Hispanic descent. (Asian women, you get a free pass this time, but don't think you get away scot-free by any means. The fashion Apocalypse will eventually come for you too, trust me.)

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According to Yahoo trends, “Bubble skirts look best worn high waisted with a blouse and heels.” Once again Yahoo gets it wrong. Bubble skirts look best smoldering in their own ashes and floating in a bath of concentrated HCL (Hydrochloric Acid, for those of you not forced into high school science classes, or planning a gristly string of murders.)

Yahoo trends also informs us that one can transform any skirt into a bubble skirt simply by adding elastic to the bottom hem. You can also allegedly give yourself a lobotomy by poking yourself in the temple with a knitting needle. I don't recommend you try either practice.

Before we leave Yahoo's take on the bubble skirt, there's also this inexplicable quote, which I could not in good conscience, leave out:

“The bubble skirt can be especially flattering for the stylish tranny accentuating the hips for that full feminine look like T.R Annie is showing here.”

I'm not sure if Yahoo is actually advocating for transsexual fashions or if some idiot woman has decided to reclaim the title for women. I can't really be bothered finding out either.... Holy hell. Yahoo answers does indeed have a transsexual fashion columnist! You can find her blog here.

So ladies, does this make bubble skirts more or less attractive to you? Inquiring minds want to know. (And no, that's not a biological woman posing so alluringly in the picture above.)


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    • profile image

      T.R. Annie 8 years ago

      Excellent articel - but I have to say I enjoy wearing the bubble skirt......!



    • profile image

      Newbie 8 years ago

      I like my skirts to have a hem-line and must say that I really don't get much of a rush from the bubble skirt design. Admittedly it does show off the legs but a mini-skirt does the same job and I think looks so much better. Of course this is my own personal preference and no doubt some guys will love to wear them. I do feel sorry for the girls though, it does seem to me like a bit of a fashion faux-pax.

      Thanks for the insight into what's coming up Hope.

      Love & Kisses


    • Hope Alexander profile image

      Hope Alexander 8 years ago

      Well apparently they're perfectly fine for men, it's women who have to worry about them...

    • Komara profile image

      Komara 8 years ago

      haha you make me cry with laughter.

      I so knew you would hate bubble skirts... because I love them!! :D

      I have quite a few... and bubble dresses.

      The only thing stopping me from wearing them around in public quite proudly (even though they've gone out of fashion now), is the fact that I'm a man! Consider yourself lucky, Hope.