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The Panty Pyramid

Updated on October 13, 2009

Not all panties are created equal, and panties, like many other elements of the world, have a natural life cycle. As wearers of panties, it is our responsibility to organize our panties in the most advantageous fashion possible.

As this diagram demonstrates, all panty drawers have a natural hierarchy. In order to truly understand the way of the panties, one should learn the intricate ways in which they relate to each other, and to us, their human masters. The panty pyramid is a simple way of beginning to understand, and is the first step along the path to the 'way of the panty'.

New

You bought these and didn't wear them for a while, so they became 'special panties'. You're just waiting for a suitable occasion to wear them. If they've been there for more than six months, its time to break those babies in regardless! Most new and unworn panties become 'pretty panties' very quickly, or else are discarded for being too imaginably uncomfortable to stand wearing for even a short period of time

Pretty Panties

The pretty panties category refers to items of lingerie that have been worn, but only very rarely. These are the items of lingerie with the power to turn you into a seductive beast just by slipping them on. Every lingerie aficionado should have several items of lingerie like this.

Favorites

Favorites are every day wear, the ones that you'll pick first if given the choice. They may not be the sexiest items of lingerie, but they make you feel good. Favorite panties tend to fit well, be flattering to your figure, and though you might not pick them out for a sexy date, you wouldn't die if you were caught with them on.

Limbo Panties

These are the comfy panties, the ones your mother bought for you, or the ones you bought when you were feeling particularly bland. These are the ones you reach for on workdays, when you know there is no chance that anyone will see what you're wearing underneath the bland workaday clothing you're forced to climb into before commencing your daily toil.

Oldies

Oldies are ex favorites which have begun to lose their charms. Loose elastic, worn patches, discoloration in key areas are all factors which can turn a favorite pair of panties into 'oldies'. Only favorite panties or pretty panties will turn into oldies, as the 'here nor there' panties are thrown out when they become a little damaged. Oldies tend to have fond memories associated with them, and will often remain lurking in panty drawers for years after they have lost all practical application.

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    • profile image

      fancy panties 4 years ago

      I am male gender and I also have panties they are very comfortable and I wouldn't where anything but panties how they make me feel emotionally I feel more female then male and I accept myself for Who I am with wearing panties if men would just try them and not fear how people think its just who you are inside when I did it totally changed my life and now I feel happy about my panties

    • profile image

      cdc 7 years ago

      I Have Over 100 panties to pick from oldies to new I always wear them in an condition

    • profile image

      pantied bill 8 years ago

      Right on again hope

      My panties definitely have a hierarchy going on. I have many different types from thongs (gasp) to full cut briefs and I love them all. The different choices and styles definitely give me more selection depending on the mood:)

      Keep up the great work.

    • Cherry Sissy profile image

      Cherry Sissy 9 years ago from New Orleans, Louisiana

      I think you've been peaking in my panty drawer !

    • profile image

      DaMaGeD_GooDz 9 years ago

      I had to laugh when I read this becuase it's so true. My panties have their own heirarchy happening. But here's a question: In what category do you put the women's boxer briefs and boy-cuts? I'm guessing somewhere between favorites and limbos depending on if they're lacy or cotton.

      Dale, all I have to say is ouch!!! Personally I think g-strings are more comfy than thongs. I guess it's just a little less floss for the bum. Am I alone on this one?

      I eagerly await the bra hub..haha!

    • Dale Dalece profile image

      Dale Dalece 9 years ago from Lakewood Oh

      I wear what I'm comfortable in and yes I have my just for sex ones and what Ilike to wear to bed. Even have some fanny floss (thongs) i wear at times but love the hub. I also wear them to work under my uniform

    • Sally's Trove profile image

      Sherri 9 years ago from Southeastern Pennsylvania

      @Seabastian...I had to chuckle at your comment.  I heard the same broadcast, but only in bits and pieces.  I did not take away the information that Victoria's Secret had anything to do with the Queen's undies (so thank you for that).  What I did come away with was that the Queen was even more stout than historically recorded.

      Hope, panty organization is an obsessive-compulsive affair.  I think we all share in that to one degree or another.  I had a friend years ago who organized hers alphabetically, by color.  Amber, Blue, Chartreuse, you get the idea.  And this was before Crayola came out with their extraordinary range of crayon colors and associated names, so I don't know what my friend did for D, E, F.  Then there was Green.

      And no, I'm not telling anyone how I organize mine.

      Very cool Hub!

    • Seabastian profile image

      Seabastian 9 years ago from Raleigh

      I came across your hub and it seemed that you would have the necessary expertise to answer whether a story that i heard today is true or false.

      It was on an NPR game show of picking the right item that was currently in the news and the correct news item was about an auction of a pair of Queen Victoria's panties for an exorbitant amout but that is not what interested me.

      In the associated commentary that was part of the banter/commentary it was stated that the queens panties were somehow responsible for the "secret" in the Victoria's Secret chain of stores.

      It seems entirely incredible to me given the description of the queen's undies..ie 50 inch waist with open crotch and drawstring (it was unclear where the drawstring was). The moderator claimed that this was a popular model in the queen's day. Can you shed any light on this story?

    • guidebaba profile image

      guidebaba 9 years ago from India

      Wow. Sexy Hub.

    • profile image

      likewhatiam 9 years ago

      Hi there Hope I have two drawers full of panties in every style you can think of,I have my work panties and leisure panties and also my frilly sexy ones.I wear what ever I want depending on how I feel that day.The only thing I wish is that someone would start making camisoles that fit men.

    • profile image

      jeimy lacy 9 years ago

      I fully agree with your views. However, what has to be taken into account is that panties are over any other elements of the world. Their life cycle rules many other life cycles, including, not surprisingly, the life cycle of panty wearers themselves.

      It is a matter of panties dialectic 101. Pure Science.

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