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The Sinister Wonder of the Wonderbra

Updated on November 6, 2009

In a March 2008 survey of 3000 UK women, the Wonderbra was reported as the greatest fashion innovation in history, which proves that UK women take things like zippers entirely for granted and that Wonderbra is an excellent marketing company if nothing else.

The Wonderbra isn't for everyone. If you're already larger than a C cup, (or less than entirely concerned about the size of your bosom,) you probably don't need one, and you probably would have been left standing like an idiot in front of the surveyor saying things like 'zippers' or 'the polymerization of diamine and a dicarboxylic acid, in order to create nylon, an inexpensive substitute for silk.' What a petty fool you would have been!

Women in general, however, as a group, have always loved the Wonderbra for it has allowed them to portray a larger bosom than actually resides underneath their all too skimpy clothing. The fact that men will inevitably be disappointed when they discover that the attributes put before them to tempt them are about as real as a Krusty the Klown burger special is irrelevant, presumably because by the time a man goes that far he is hooked by other feminine charms that prevent him from dusting off his hands and walking out the front door in disgust.

The Wonderbra is a glorious form of lying, a form of lying only encouraged by and for women. You don't see men walking around with additional shoulder padding in order to look more broad and masculine, and in spite of the fact that male corsets do exist and can be bought, the majority of the male population doesn't wear them. Men expect to be taken rather at face value, however women, who presumably never really feel good enough about their bodies, will suck and tuck and strap and lift their bodies until they resemble something closer to the ideal body which could never be achieved by someone with their genetic profile.

We may appreciate the Wonderbra, but I cannot help but feel that underneath its soft, lovely and bountiful exterior lurks a darker truth. Any woman who wears a Wonderbra is attempting to attract attention to herself by silently making physical claims about her body that just aren't true. Why does she feel the need to do this? And why does a significant portion of the female population celebrate this as the greatest fashion innovation in history? Food for thought.


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      Sherman 7 years ago

      Very interesting, Hope. Good!

      How about padded push-ups and demi's? Or panties with padded cheeks? But perhaps most interesting is the 'minimizer' bra. Why? Why would a woman want to minimize themselves? Is the next technique wrapping chests to pass as a boy like in Shakespeare's plays? Our culture is curious. And marketing thrives on it. Does this indicate being embarrassed by natural assets? Should men be minimizing their crotch?