ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

One Man's Encounter with the Mysteries of UGG

Updated on October 4, 2015
UGG catching some rays at the beach.
UGG catching some rays at the beach. | Source

UGG Bootoid

The UGG boot is simply defined as a sheepskin boot in the Macquarie Dictionary of Australia.

It's a Pair of UGG, Not UGGS

I used to try to complement people's boots, "Those are a nice pair of UGGS," I said. Then I was corrected by my girlfriend. "No, Mark, they are UGG, not UGGS. There's no "S" at the end of UGG." My girlfriend would know; she must have fifteen pairs of UGG in her closet. There's slippers and black leather boots and flip flops and chocolate brown boots and boots with special girly designs and low boots with hippie frills, and other colorful UGG shoes like pink and blue and purple. She has a regular UGG wonderland in her closet. By far it's her favorite shoe.

Another faux pas that I made was to tell my girlfriend that she should wear socks with her UGG because it was cold out. "Mark, you don't wear socks with UGG," she said while sucking her tongue. "You wear them au naturel." I did some research and confirmed that she was right. UGG was originally made for surfers in Australia who wanted something warm when they got out of the water and something that would keep the sand off their feet. So they stuck their hairy footsies into sheepskin boots with no socks. Nowadays, it is an attractive American woman, like my girlfriend, who gently places her clean and pedicured feet into the soft inside of an UGG.

Times have really changed. UGG used to be for the grungy and the gnarly surfer dudes, now they are for the ultra feminine and sophisticated boot connoisseurs.

It started with the surfer dudes
It started with the surfer dudes | Source

UGG Bootoid

The UGG boot is a twin-faced sheepskin with fleece on the inside and a tanned outer surface.

Men Need to Get it Together

Watching women for the past twenty years wear UGG, I always wondered if their feet would get sweaty with all that fur inside. I thought about how smelly the boots must be and how do you clean them when they get so grimy? My sneakers don't have fur inside and they get really stinky if I wear them without socks. So I asked my girlfirend, "Babe, don't your UGG get smelly inside from your feet sweating?"

She laughed at me. I should have realized once again--I'm a guy. I don't know anything about the shoes women wear. I have a guy's mentality. She was patient with me and, thankfully, not condescending in her response.

"Your feet breathe in UGG. They stay at your normal body temperature. In a real sense, the fleecy lining breathes with you so your feet don't sweat and your boots don't get smelly."

Geez, I thought. What an amazing concept. The person who invented this shoe must be a real genius. Although, it was unclear who actually invented the boot. Was it a guy from Australia in the 1950s or some shoemaker in New Zealand? The Australians didn't even like the boot; they just saw it as functional and warm. But the women here are much more discernible. They know a good boot when they see one. Most of us guys are Neanderthals, still wearing Florsheim ankle boots and those stiff, uncomfortable Dingos. I'm beginning to believe that men are stuck in the Stone Ages with their clothing choices, especially their shoes and boots are way out of date.

We need to catch up to women--and fast!




Source

It's More Than Just a Shoe

UGG has become more than a boot for women, and more than just a symbol of being a free spirit. It has become something magical. The magic starts when they buy a pair. They are transfixed trying them on. Their eyes are glazed and they can't speak in complete sentences or in English for that matter. Their whole body tingles. There is a sparkle in the eye and a noticeable glow to the skin. There's some kind of full body transformation that occurs once the sheepskin hits the female foot. It's unexplainable; it's like what Cinderella must have experienced when she tried on the glass slipper. But I'm sure that Cinderella would have preferred a soft fleece-lined slipper over a shoe made of glass.

If you are a man reading this Hub, I urge you to take your favorite female UGG-shopping. It will make your jaw drop. It will be an event that you will never forget as long as you live. You will thank me for giving you this advice, even though it might cost you $150 or more for the experience--but it's absolutely worth it.

Women become so ecstatic. It's a joy to watch. They become so proud of their UGG like it is the perfect wedding dress; like they have found Prince Charming. It's almost as if they discovered the most delicious sushi of all time! It's almost as good as a hot, sweaty and vigorous Bikram yogi class.

UGG is Better than the Best Sushi Ever

Source

Men, Get Your UGG On!

Even though it were men who wore the boots first in Australia and New Zealand and then Southern California--men just don't get it. They are just numb in the foot. But it will eventually happen. It just takes men a long time to catch up to women. Look at Yoga. Even though men started Yoga, only a few men did it and found meaning from it. But when women found Yoga, it really took off. It became an amazing physical and spiritual form of exercise and meditation. Now, more men are doing it and trying it and slowly discovering that women are right. Women are always right. Men may start things, but women know how to finish and develop things. Mark my words, eventually men will get the UGG thing and it will take off. Men will have the same feeling, the same mental climax as women do when they slip on a pair of UGG for the first time.

Just like yoga, men are just afraid of doing something labeled as being feminine. But just like yoga, things change and men feel safer and will eventually try something new. Men are like scared babies that have to be coddled and coerced into trying something out of the box or unconventional. It will just take a little time.

So men, get your UGG on! And listen to Tom Brady, he knows a good sheepskin when he sees one--just like he knows a good pigskin.

List of Things that the UGG boot is Better Than

UGG is better than
UGG is not better than
The best sushi in the world
A wedding dress
A Bikram yoga class
 
A kiss from Fresh Prince
 
Liposuction
 
A meal at Denny's
 
A good wax job
 
A big banana split
 
A gift certificate from Lululemon
 

Only a Wedding Dress is Better Than UGG

Source

UGG Bootoid

In 1978 Austrailian surfer Brian Smith arrived in Southern California with a lot of sheepskin boots ready to sell them in America. Male surfers loved them.

Is That an UGG or a FUGG?

It's not like I'm obsessed with UGG. I don't even own a pair yet but eventually I will. But I am very much aware of women wearing them in the malls and on the streets. I like to people watch anyway, and one of the things I like to do with my girlfriend is to identify UGG footwear. So we might sit on a bench in front of Nordstrom's and watch the women leave and enter the building.

I feel like a kid picking out types of sneakers or something, but I have gotten pretty good at identifying an UGG boot from a FUGG.

  1. The big UGG letters are always on the heel of the real boot so I never miss it.
  2. The FUGG boots seem to collapse around the sides of the boot and the suede looks cheap.
  3. With sneakers there is a different type of logo that has UGG in the middle of a spiral and they have a label on the tongue of the sneaker. I need my glasses for that one.
  4. Regarding the moccasin or slippers, I really can't tell unless the woman has her leg up in the air so I can see the UGG label on the bottom of her shoes or if she takes off her shoe, hands it too me and I can check the label inside. Don't worry, I never go that far to verify an UGG.


This Angel Troll is Wearing a Fugg

Source

I Don't Have an UGG Fetish

I think my girlfriend really prefers me to identify more masculine things like cars or football players. I think she feels more secure when I ask, is that a Maserati? Instead of pointing out a Mini Bailey or a Shiny Bailey or even a Bailey Button Triplet, she would prefer me to be pick out a Ford Escort or a Mini Cooper.

I assure my girlfriend that I don't have a foot fetish; I'm more of a leg man. I try to convince her that I'm a normal male. It's just something that I'm going through at the moment. I'll grow out of it. Not to worry. I promise.

Does your boyfriend look or stare at UGG boots a lot? Does you boyfriend have an endless amount of questions about the UGG boot? Can your boyfriend identify which is an UGG and which is a FUGG? If so, please let me know. I really don't want to be the only one. Your replies are welcome.


Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Mark Tulin profile imageAUTHOR

      Mark Tulin 

      3 years ago from Santa Barbara, California

      Thank you Marlene. You're lucky, your mother-in-law must really like you to get you a pair of UGG.

    • MarleneB profile image

      Marlene Bertrand 

      3 years ago from USA

      I use to think I would never buy a pair of UGG because they were so ugly to me. Then my mother-in-law gave me a pair of UGG (notice I'm not saying UGGS). Of course, I immediately put them on after unwrapping the gift box in front of her. "Thanks, Mom!" I said before slipping them on. It only took a second or two to realize those boots were the most comfortable pair of footwear I had ever worn. I started wearing them everywhere. I actually need a new pair. I really got a kick out of your list of things the UGG boot is better than. You're funny!

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)