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What Panties Would Neo Wear? Latex Lingerie From The Matrix

Updated on October 12, 2009

The Matrix is all around you. It has you. You're a little copper top powering a race of evil robots, but you might as well enjoy the benefits of your situation, access to some digitally sweet lingerie. (And Rob Zombie remixes which are most excellent also. Edgy, yet very mainstream.)

The chosen material of lingerie in the matrix is latex. It's stylish, futuristic, and you can peel it on and off whilst bathing in the opulence of a red goo bath. With latex lingerie, there's no need to get pulled aboard a ship, full of metallic holes and butt naked.

Without further ado, lets explore the latex offerings I have discovered on the interwebs as a little location called Eros Boutique.

Red Light Latex

Perfect for distracting the machines and insulating against unexpected shocks when tampering with damp computers and telephones, wearing this latex lingerie would make one the proverbial lady in red. You know the one. The lady in red who distracts Neo at a crucial moment during his training and could have gotten his head blown off. That's right, this outfit represents terminal hotness.

Latex Pirate

I didn't see any pirates in any of the Matrix movies, but that doesn't mean that they weren't there. In fact, I think the fact that you couldn't see any pirates is strong evidence for their existence. After all, if there weren't any pirates, then.... ooh shiny latex!

This isn't technically lingerie either, so we're really off to a bad start here, but I reckon if Trinity had dressed this way, there would have been more chance that Neo's theoretical attraction to her would have seemed likely. (Seriously, has there ever been a more flaccid onscreen romance? Neo seemed more attracted to Morpheus than Trinity, and who could blame him, that gravelly deep voice coupled with a slow and thoughtful delivery won him the US election in 2008. Or was that Obama? I forget. Latex fumes will do that to you.)

And now for an unholy matrimony...

Latex Corselette

What is a corsellete? I don't know, but I think it is the latex love child of Trinity and Lady Gaga. Observe my pictorial evidence which supports this fact. At any rate, it is indisputably the most matrixy piece of latex lingerie I've seen today, and that is evidence enough to suggest that this is the lingerie Neo would wear. Look, there's even a special place for stockings to attach. The savior of mankind and machines alike would never go anywhere without his stockings.

Outside of this article, there is a lingerie scaffold. Go to it. Get your lingerie. See you on the other side.


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    • 50 Caliber profile image

      50 Caliber 8 years ago from Arizona


      Once again you have delved a subject I find great pleasure in. Any one who adores new sensations, should consider the indescribable sensation of rubber and pvc.

      You have an uncanny ability to light up my inbox with profound views of my personal interests.

    • profile image

      Gunnau 8 years ago from Central Coast NSW Australia

      Ahhh. Latex

      The most sensual and yet most understood of all the fabrics. it looks smooth and sexy yet so many think if you wear it, you must be seriously kinky and should be avoided.

      I think Neo may have worn clear latex panties with a frill on the edges so they didn't cut in while he ran around. and if he got frigtened enough it would hold in any unfortunate liquids.

      I have worn latex and have a lovely pair of pink ones. They are not for long periods but are for fun times.

      It's just a shame latex is so expensive or i may have a LOT more.

    • SatinJenni profile image

      SatinJenni 8 years ago from Burlington Ontario Canada

      I have never worn latex rubber nor viynal I would think