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Why Appearance Doesn't Really Matter

Updated on June 29, 2009

Every day, I'm faced with at least one person, one gorgeous person, whose expression or air clearly says, "I know I'm beautiful, look at me all you want." Whether it is someone on a magazine cover or a runway-worthy beauty walking down the street in heels and a mini, I can't help but often feel plain, boring, and utterly undesireable.

The thing is, though, that no matter how much hot, attractive, gorgeous people may have worked out to get the body they have, the bottom line is this: at least they were born with the capacity to become that beautiful - because let's face it, most of us will never be cover-magazine worthy, even if we worked out six hours a day. Our nose is too big, our eyes are too close together, we're too short, our teeth are crooked, we have cankles, the list goes on and on.

My point is, no one chooses their appearance when they are born. No beautiful or handsome person was born that way because they worked hard for it, or studied hard, or did good deeds.

So how in the world can you beat yourself up for not being as attractive as people who are born naturally beautiful? I mean, some beauties don't even work out. Are you letting these good-looking people make you feel bad about yourself because they shove their alluring selves in your face, like those bikini-clad models and celebrities on magazine covers?

The truth is, beautiful people who are vain about their appearance and make plain-looking folk feel like tofu are the most shallow fools in the world. I know it's said a million times that vain people are shallow, but it's really true. It's because their good looks come not from hard work (at least, not the starting point), but from something they were just lucky to get. It's like a lottery-winner believing he is more talented or skilled than the non-winners. It's just silly.

I'm not saying all good-looking people are vain and shallow - what I'm saying is that in life, there will be many vain, self-obsessed people who might make you feel less about yourself. But if you don't want to constantly feel ugly around beautiful people, change your habit. The next time an attractive person's attitude or behavior towards you makes you feel worse about yourself, instead of listening to the voice that criticizes your appearance and agrees that you deserve to be treated like a pauper because you supposedly look like one, show that gorgeous person that you don't even care about what they look like - that you refuse to think of him or her as better or more interesting than you simply because of their looks. Act casual, and in the beginning, if need be, act like you even think you're better than that person. This will help you gain confidence in yourself, especially when you realize that that beautiful person starts treating you with equality and respect. Another reaction, though, might be that that person loses interest in you simply because you don't play along with their game of worshiping them, or mild frustration. This is the only medicine, though, that will help truly vain people get off their high horse and see that in real life, they will not always get their way simply because they are "irresistibly" beautiful. The sooner the better they learn, because those who don't learn age disgracefully - either by becoming depressed or angry about the natural aging process or by turning to lots and lots of plastic surgery.  And still having to deal with their beauty aging anyway.

So this article is about two things: not to let good-looking people make you believe you are less important or valuable as a person, and to help vain, gorgeous people see that there are those who refuse to even care about how good-looking he or she is. Once you truly grasp this concept, you'll find that there may be many people in your life you consider a "friend" because you are awed by their amazing looks and with the fact they that notice your existence and - shock - talk to you, but who, if they weren't born with such good looks, are actually very dull or dumb people who don't make your life better at all.

If you are an attractive person, bravo, you were lucky to be born that way:) I am not writing this to put down all attractive people, and I'm not saying all attractive people are vain. I'm saying that I have dealt with self-esteem issues based on appearance for many years of my life and it's because this world glorifies attractiveness so much. I know that someday we will live in a world where beauty is appreciated but cannot be used to get special treatment, and where looks, good or bad to any extreme, will not be any kind of barrier or mask in getting to know a person's character and personality.


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      Deborah 3 years ago

      Amen, sister. I'm ready to put away the make-up and enjoy life. What a sad way to walk through life, worrying about what you and what others look like. I have been shamelessly vain for too long; worried about hair, clothes, skin, and even my boobies! I am 24 years old and ready to enjoy life. I'm tired of worrying about how I look in a bikini. Of course, I want to take care of myself, but I'm ready to throw away the scale. What a ridiculously vain world that we live in. If all of the money that is spent on plastic surgery was spent on helping others in need, just imagine how much better this world would be. Very well written article. I enjoyed it :)

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      SimpleMuslim 7 years ago

      Interesting article, a good read.

      This is why in Islam, although beauty is appreciated, it is never a means to discriminate against. For example, ever wondered why women are told to cover up, wear the hijaab? The whole celebrity culture that has arisen, discriminates against women, through no fault of their own.

      Women are appreciated for what they say, their chartacter, their intelligence, for who they are, and NOT judged on appearance !