Winkers | Jeans Guaranteed To Make People Stare At Your Butt
I don't know about you, but I'm often disappointed when I go out in public and people don't all gasp and stare at my butt. Fortunately, some clever chaps have put their heads together and really come up with a way to solve not only my problem, but the problems of mildly socially retarded attention seekers everywhere – 'Winkers'!
What are winkers? Winkers are jeans designed to make it look as though one of a variety of animals or inanimate objects are 'winking' as you walk down the street. The general premise is this. A pair of eyes is painted into the area of the jeans where your thighs meet your buttocks. As you walk, this area folds up, creating the illusion that your butt is inhabited by an evil and fairly lascivious genie.
Check them out for yourself!
There are several types of Winkers jean styles to choose from, each more awesomely fantastic than the last:
BUT HOW MUCH DO WINKERS COST? I MUST HAVE THEM, HAVE THEM NOW!
Well, if you're willing to send in a pair of your jeans, then you can transform your derriere into a tourettes afflicted jungle lion for just $569.00! That's right, for under six hundred dollars you can turn what used to be a perfectly respectable pair of jeans into a giant flashing 'look at me' sign that is sure to garner you all sorts of attention. If $600 is a bit much, then you can always get the budget low end version, a simple pair of eyes painted onto your jeans for a mere $149.95. What a bargain.
HOW TO ORDER YOUR WINKERS
Winkers require you to send in a pair of jeans yourself. After all, with bargain basement prices of over a hundred dollars, you can hardly expect the jeans to be included in the price of the service. Winkers' creator warns that baggy jeans may not 'wink' as well as tight jeans, so you should keep that in mind before sending your clothing and your money off to be defaced. Winkers' ask that you ensure your pants are clean before sending them in, as they certainly aren't going to take the time to clean them either. That sort of thing costs money.
EVERYONE LOVES WINKERS!
The Winkers site is a great place to find other people who also like Winkers. The comments and feedback section is a testament to how popular Winkers are and will be:
“Great artwork and creatively fun idea! “