FINDING BIG SUNGLASSES TO MATCH YOUR WIDE FACE
Sunglasses For Wider Faces (or The Quest for Bigger Shades)
Fear not my friends! For lo, if the sunglasses realm has left you feeling downtrodden, battered, beaten and defeated, I have come to you with advice! If your head is wide, tall, big, wonky, janky or any other type of BIG AND/OR STRANGE, I have come to you with advice. Hear me and obey!....not really, but please do read through here and see if you can take home a lil' somethin' somethin'.
Introductions Are In Order...
(aka the Finding's of a Dude with a Big Head)
Do you struggle to find comfortable shades? Something that doesn't make you look like you should be in a bad 80's movie or a rap music video? Yeah, I thought so. Well the truth is we all go through that at some point (at least anyone who gives a damn about their sunglasses' does). What really makes it tough is when you have a BIG HEAD. And I don't mean 'oh, hes got a cute pudgy baby face' big. I mean watermelon on a toothpick big. I personally have that problem. My face is so wide it's what the people who can't hit the broad side of the barn CAN hit. Have I struck home to any of you, readers? Well fear not! I have come to guide you through the woods and to a sweet set of stunners that will feel oh-so comfortable and make your friends spout envy-laden encouragements like 'nice Oakleys bruh!'.
Let me preface by saying (if you haven't figured as much already) my noggin is massive. I have a very wide face and (even more tough for fitting sunglasses) a big nose. Combine these two together and you get a tricky situation (and no I'm not talking the dude from Jersey Shore). I am very picky about sunglasses I am looking for. If the arms/temples feel relatively tight at all, I put them puppies back down right away. Comfort is a huge factor, and while being too tight on the sides of your face is a huge problem you also don't want to allow them to be too loose either. This immediately limits what brands you can shop from, as some are just made naturally narrow. You know when you put some new locs and the arms stick out to the sides, making you look like you just dropped your alien antennae down to the sides in passive mode? Yeah, those aren't good. Let me break it down a bit for you here:
(aka The Enemy of Fat Dudes)
Okay so maybe not all fat dudes. But if you have a wide face, YES. Ray-Bans are the absolute narrowest shades on the market. Someone may want to dispute this. And I just wish to inform those person(s) I am a black belt in tae kwon do and have no qualms about tracking you down....just kidding (about the tracking down bit anyway). Look, everyone's face is going to fit their spekkies a bit different. In my experience (not just personal but with other people I have spoken with this about as well) Ray-Bans fit super tight. The fact is that the frames just sit very cramped on your face. I have tried on several pairs of Ray-Bans, including the Large Aviators, the Outdoorsman II and the Wayfarers. And they all feel VERY constricted, not only on the sides but on the nose and face as well. My advice? Avoid these babies if you can. The fashion statement is not worth a squished face.
Also, those little round lenses you see? You know, the ones that you saw a lot of in the seventies and were worn by guys who who said things like 'woah', 'far out' and 'trippy man'? Yeah, don't do that. Picture Andre the Giant. Now picture him wearing a size medium shirt. Those little round sunglasses look something like that. I would definitely suggest avoiding that unless you like looking like your lenses are going to pop off and strike the nearest pedestrian at any given time. Just saying.
OAKLEYS AND ELECTRICS AND SPY'S OH MY!!!!
(aka WHAT"S REALLY GOOD)
Yes, it is no secret that I play a slightly biased view of Oakleys. Besides just liking their style best, I find they offer the widest line of sunglasses for larger faces. I have several sets of the Dispatches (see link below for images!) and they are single handily the best fitting pair of maddogers I have ever owned. And trust me there have been PLENTY. The are incredibly light weight, block any and all glare and fit just about any face shape there is. It gets better even. I can dig the wider frames and the large lenses on them (aviators get on my level). But the key selling point after the comfort factor is the changeable icons on the side. WOWWEE!!! (Nah, but they are super cool.) Definitely the top brand for wider frames.
If you can't really get with the Oakley look, I have found Spy and Electric to make sunglasses that fit a lot more wider faces than narrow. The Bloks by Spy fit pretty similar to the Dispatches. Comfortable and trendy, these bad boys are a good pair to settle on if you need something a bit more comfortable for your facial structure.
By Electric, I would recommend the G Six. They come in a variety of different colors and designs as well as fit most size faces (my big head included). They probably have one of the most comfortable feeling set of limbs on them ever as well. I barely noticed I had them on once I became accustomed to the polarization. Another good selection for the picky and wider faced fellow.
The Fat Lady Is Singing...
Look, I'm no expert on sunglasses. I didn't go to Shades College and I don't have a degree in Facial Structures. However, I do know what I do know from personal experience, something I can physically trust in. Everything in here is a recommendation off of what I have physically felt and seen trying on said sunglasses. This is what it breaks down to with wider faces:
Avoid Ray-Bans unless you can physically try them on to confirm they fit. They have plenty of models that you could look at and think 'oh that looks plenty big enough'. Lemme tell you, it's probably not. But hey, don't take my word for it. Buy a pair, see how they fit. I hope I am wrong and you can rock out with your Ray-Bans all night long. Also, avoid smaller lenses on goggles. Square or rectangle frames are probably okay, but tiny round frames on a wide face look dumb. Trust me, I've been told as much (I went through a Morpheus phase, it was bad).
Oakleys are a great brand for wider faces. So are Electric and Spy. However, the best way to guarantee a good fit is of course to try them on before purchase. I am telling you this because I don't want to get hatemail from people who bought Oakleys and they don't fit quite right. Again, I'm just telling you what I know. And since you do not have the exact same face as me (that would be creepy) they won't fit exactly the same for you as they did me. I can, however, promise that these brands will fit wider that most other brands of sunglasses.
And that's it everyone. Some not-so-quick advice on sunglasses on wider faces. I hope you enjoyed the ride as much as I did. And remember, you don't choose the shades. The shades choose you.
Some Recommendations For Youse Guys - (cause you know you want 'em)
Because pictures are worth a thousand words (okay maybe two thousand of mine).
Look I'm new at this and people like funny. But did you find anything actually useful?