Five Reasons To Love Flannel Shirts
Joy of Flannel
No fabric epitomizes manliness so much as flannel. The cloth of choice of hipsters and lumberjacks alike, flannel is a fabric worth of awe and admiration. Once, while flannel hunting at Goodwill it struck me. "Why did someone donate this perfectly good flannel shirt?!" The only possible explanation was that the donator was an imbecile who did not give his flannel shirt the proper respect and treatment it deserved. The shirt obviously left him in search of a more accommodating owner.
To prevent this from happening to you, I'm here to give you a list of five reasons why flannel shirts deserve your respect. So next time you are shopping at the mall and looking at plaid flannel shirts, think of this article and the five reasons to love flannel.
"Those who deny flannel to others, deserve it not for themselves; and, under a just God, can not long retain it." - Abraman Lincoln
Moses and His Flannel Robe
1. Flannel Is A Gift From God
When Bithia, the Pharaoh's daughter, drew Moses from the well he was wrapped in a Levite cloth. It's obvious that this cloth was made of flannel since it's inhabitant grew up to be the liberator of a people. Moses's brought his flannel robe wherever he went. No matter if he was shepherding sheep or declaring his freedom from Egypt, Moses was wearing his flannel. It might be striped instead of plaid, but it's still legit. Plus Moses was wearing it in the desert! So hardcore.
If the Deliverer of the Hebrews wore a flannel robe, then it's a good bet that you should too!
2. Flannel Shirts Are Manly As Hell
Name a fabric manlier than flannel. I'd like you see you try, tough guy. And don't say leather, cause that's not a fabric and the dominatrices ruined the manliness factor of it anyway. Sorry, but the truth hurts sometimes.
Name a profession manlier than that of the lumberjack? He spends all day eatin' flapjacks, playing with axes and saws, and contributing to global warming! Guess what lumberjacks wear... flannel shirts. Plus the plaid pattern tends to make your shoulders look broader, guys. Hows that for a shirt?
3. Flannel Shirts Are Warm
In cold weather conditions there are but a few select types of apparel that can save you from the bitter cruelty of hypothermia. Flannel shirts are one of them. I once had a friend name Heinrich. Poor bloke got lost in a blizzard once and we thought we'd seen the last of him. Luckily though he managed to walk fifty miles to the nearest settlement. He attributed his survival to the hearty warm flannel shirt on his back, and who am I to argue with him?
4. Flannel Shirts Are Cool
Want to be the coolest lumberjack on the block? Well invest in a quality flannel shirt! Flannel is now the "in" thing in fashion, and all the coolest subcultures are wearing it. Skaters, hipsters, lumber workers, you name it! They all wear flannel.
5. Flannel Shirts Are Affordable
In this economy you can't afford not to buy a flannel shirt. Quality flannel shirts can be purchased for relatively low prices. Now I'm not talking ultra-fashionable Urban Outfitters hipster flannel here, but rather a quality thick fabric garment that you might find online or at sporting goods stores. So be recession chic and stick out the global recession in style! Buy a comfortable flannel shirt!
Why I Love Flannel Shirts
I've now given you five reasons to love flannel shirts, but why do I adore them so? Well it's real simple. Flannel more than just a fashion statement to me, it's a way of life. Whenever I go outside rockin' the flannel getup, I feel a sense of calm and serenity no other fabric can offer.
Flannel shirts are God's gift to man and we must treat them as such.