ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Fragrance and how NOT to wear it.

Updated on February 23, 2011

Are you the perp or the victim?

We all know a little dab of love potion can go a long way when dating, working, playing or just wanting to feel sexy. Notice the aforementioned "dab?"

I am writing this not to offend anyone, yet to educate them on proper fragrance usage. If you work in a cube next to woman who smells like she was fumigated with even the nicest scent, it's way too much. You can almost see a haze surrounding the person because they smell like they will explode near an open flame. Many people suffer in silence on a day to day basis. Having to choke back the tears (due to either sadness or pungent fumes), grabbing the aspirin in the first aid locker by the water cooler because you feel dizzy and sickly from the overwhelming odor.

We all know it can be very difficult to bring a subject up like this in the workplace. Are they doing anything wrong? Well, yes.

I walked into a Radioshack the other day and almost collapsed and shit myself. The entire store was marinated with Armani Code. Normally, a beautiful and complex fragrance, this was pure torture. It was as if all three employees were wearing it, washing their hands with it and using it as air fresheners in the wall sockets. I couldn't handle the odious olfactory sensation another second and bailed.


Why do some people think that dousing themselves with a cologne or perfume will make people flock to them? It does the exact opposite. I want to share with you my very own personal techniques to wearing your favorite scent, okay?


you see?! This is what happens when you shower yourself with cologne!
you see?! This is what happens when you shower yourself with cologne!

My personal fragrance wearing tips

I'm gonna make this really simple. Here are the unwritten rules to cologne/perfume wearing.

1) NEVER more than 3 sprays.....ever. I don't care if you didn't shower this morning. I don't care if you're 7'3 and weigh 500 lbs. 3 sprays is all anyone needs at any given 24 hour period. Trust me.

2) NEVER spray fragrance onto your clothes. Fragrances are bad for the fabric and can cause discoloration. Spraying the fragrance onto your skin will warm it and cause it to exude a slight variation of the scent that is unique to you. Cool huh?

3) NEVER....and I mean NEVER (and guys, I'm talking primarily to you) ever do the "Spritz to the crotch." This is flat-out ridiculous. I have only seen this done in the movies, and if you're doing in real life, stop. If you really think your crotch needs a blast of cologne, you really need to just shower instead. Case closed.

you're welcome!

The purpose of fragrance

Fragrance was originally created by alchemists hundreds of years ago for the general population . The original reason behind it was to mask the natural odors that spring off of the body after weeks of not bathing. This was common back then because bathing more than once a month was only for the elite.

As time has gone by, bathing has become (thank goodness) much more accessible, and the need for body fragrance has become an additional option only. Like with every other nice thing in this world, we have our abusers. These people stink.

As the human evolved, and we became cleaner and cleaner, perfume had a whole new meaning. It turned into a love potion, of sorts. A way to lure a desired partner in and seduce them. Make sense, right? But you don't want to have to smell these people from across the room. You're supposed to catch a glimpse of their odor if you're close enough, and then want more! You're wanting to move in your target so you can marinate your nostrils with their intoxicating aroma. Not run for the hills! Again, you're welcome.

Aww, you stink!! I told you not to spray more than 3 times, damnit!
Aww, you stink!! I told you not to spray more than 3 times, damnit!

MEN: Try these nice alternatives to traditional stronger colognes. (Your friends, coworkers and family will thank you)

A perfume poll

Are you affected on a daily basis by a perfume/cologne offender?

See results

Leave your comments. Share a story! Do you work with a "stinkie?

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)