ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel
  • »
  • Fashion and Beauty»
  • Clothing

Monty Python and the Holy Grail T-Shirts

Updated on November 30, 2012

You can wear them anywhere! Never be mistaken for someone uncool again!

Monty Python and the Holy Grail t-shirts are the perfect gift for the son who hates everything you buy him, or that hard-to-buy-for husband or gamer wife. Beloved by gamers, geeks, and anyone under the ages of 33 and over the ages of 36, this hilarious film following the exploits of the various noble knights of King Arthur as they search for the Holy Grail has created an entire culture of compulsive quoters.

And there's nothing worse than forgetting the exact instructions for the Holy Hannd Grenade of Antioch. So make sure that doesn't happen and buy the t-shirt (and a spare, for when the first one starts smelling).

What Is The Number Thou Shalt Count To?

See results

Swallow and Coconut Weight Ratios T-Shirt - Listen. In order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings forty-three times every second, r

Guard: Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?

King Arthur: Not at all. They could be carried.

Guard: What? A swallow carrying a coconut?

King Arthur: It could grip it by the husk!

Guard: It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a one pound coconut.

King Arthur: Well, it doesn't matter. Will you go and tell your master that Arthur from the Court of Camelot is here?

Guard: Listen. In order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings forty-three times every second, right?

Holy Hand Grenade Instructions T-Shirt - Never forget the number that comes between two and four again.

And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three. No more. No less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once at the number three, being the third number to be reached, then, lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it."

Monty Python and the Holy Grail Holy Hand Grenade Instructions Men's T-Shirt
Monty Python and the Holy Grail Holy Hand Grenade Instructions Men's T-Shirt

Ever wonder how to make the most of your Holy Hand Grenade? Well, look no further! This Monty Python and the Holy Grail t-shirt, with front and back print design, provides full instructions as seen in the movie. Print has gold sparkle detail. 100% cotton. Officially licensed.

 

Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch T-Shirt - HALLELUJAH! HALLELUJAH! HALLELUJAH!

Monty Python and the Holy Grail Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch Men's T-Shirt
Monty Python and the Holy Grail Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch Men's T-Shirt

An olive green shirts with a picture of a monk holding the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch. Captioned with one of the greatest scenes in any Monty Python film - a bit of the scripture surrounding the use of the Holy Hand Grenade. "Oh Lord bless this, Thy hand grenade, that with it Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits, in Thy mercy." Monty Python fans shouldn't miss out on this! Standard mens size tee. Shoulder-to-shoulder taped, sleeve and bottom hem are double-needled. 100% cotton. Officially licensed.

 

Monty Python Killer Rabbit T-Shirt - With nasty big pointy teeth!

Balzout Men's Monty Python Killer Rabbit T-Shirt
Balzout Men's Monty Python Killer Rabbit T-Shirt

On the front is the text "It's just an ordinary rabbit, isn't it?" along with a little graphic of the rabbit. On the back are the words "We shall not risk another frontal attack. That rabbit's dynamite!" along with a large image of the killer rabbit. Standard mens size tee. Shoulder-to-shoulder taped, sleeve and bottom hem are double-needled. 100% cotton. Officially licensed.

 

Knights Who Formerly Said Ni T-Shirt - Now they are the Knights Who Say "Ecky ecky ecky ecky pakang zoom boing"

Knights Who Formerly Said Ni
Knights Who Formerly Said Ni

You know those holiday gift lotteries where everyone pulls somebody else's name out of a hat and tries to figure out what to buy that person that isn't, say, a set of festive holiday salt and pepper shakers or mulled cider potpourri? Well, if you drew one of the knights who until recently said "ni" as your choice, you'd be in luck. The whole scene is basically one long wish list. You could deliver the mightiest tree in the forest, wrapped up in a bow, or possibly just the herring, which is easier to transport. And, of course, shrubberies. You can never go wrong with a shrubbery (one that looks nice but not too expensive). Or, if you knew the knight's size, you could get him a shirt honoring his profession. One very much like this one.

Knights Who Formerly Said Ni coat of arms printed on a tan, 100% cotton t-shirt. The coat of arms includes the head knight's helmet with antlers flanked by two herring. The central shield is emblazoned with either a shrubbery or the mightiest tree in the forest, depending on your interpretation, and bears a scroll which reads, "Ecky ecky ecky ecky pakang zoom boing." And don't argue with us about the words. Ain't nobody got a definitive version, so we don't want to hear it. Don't make us break out the herring on you, because you know we will

 

Knight Saying Ni from J!nx

Be careful when wearing this shirt, for the effects of even reading the sacred word (Ni!) can be agonizing. Many have fallen to these powerful knights and their evil ways. We have commemorated their reign of terror in a delightful T-shirt. The shirt is 100% cotton and completely spam-free

Shubbery T-Shirt - Oh, what sad times are these when passing ruffians can say Ni at will to old ladies.

Balzout Men's Monty Python Shubbery T-Shirt
Balzout Men's Monty Python Shubbery T-Shirt

Ni! This great tee shirt features a large front print of one of the fearsome Knights who Say Ni, demanding a shrubbery. Front screen print on a green 100% cotton t-shirt. Officially licensed.

 

Trojan Rabbit Plans T-Shirt - Bedevere's cunning plan for invading the castle.

Monty Python and the Holy Grail Rabbit Plans Men's T-Shirt
Monty Python and the Holy Grail Rabbit Plans Men's T-Shirt

Have you ever wanted to build your own ''Trojan Rabbit'', but weren't sure how to do it? Well, this cool Monty Python t-shirt will show you how! The large, easy to read front print demonstrates how the famous Rabbit is built and assembled - perfect for sieging castles of annoying Frenchmen or just striking fear into the hearts of your enemies as you seek the Holy Grail. Front print features the ''Trojan Rabbit'', back print is the Monty Python and the Holy Grail logo. Standard men's sizes. 100% cotton. Officially licensed. Imported

 

Brave Sir Robin Song & Shield Emblem T-Shirt - Brave, brave Sir Robin!

Bravely bold Sir Robin rode forth from Camelot. He was not afraid to die, oh brave Sir Robin. He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways, brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin. He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp, or to have his eyes gouged out, and his elbows broken. To have his kneecaps split, and his body burned away, and his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Robin.

Other Black Knight T-shirts

Monty Python - For No Man T-Shirt
Monty Python - For No Man T-Shirt

The Black Knight Moves For No Man.

 

Black Knight Tunic - Officially Licenced - It's... almost a t-shirt!

Other Holy Grail Clothing: Monty Python Slippers! - Cuddle your feet in some of the deadliest characters from the Holy Grail.

Toy Vault Rabbit with Big Pty Teeth Slippers--Fits Ages 14+
Toy Vault Rabbit with Big Pty Teeth Slippers--Fits Ages 14+

Killer rabbits for your feet, People love fuzzy bunny slippers but how does the rabbit feel about it? Now you can terrorize small pets and dust bunnies around the house with this high-quality, cuddly, fluffy footwear. Watch the killer rabbit's sharp-toothed mouth bounce up and down as you walk, these slippers are suitable for a wide range of foot sizes but they best fit men's sizes 8-12. Why not slip into a pair of your own

 
Monty Python Black Knight Plush Slippers
Monty Python Black Knight Plush Slippers

Our favorite black knight is back and this time ready to defend your feet to the bloody end. One thing must be said, though ignorant of pain and the tide of battle, the Black Knight would not surrender his post at any cost and, with a bit more intellect, may have made an excellent addition to the Knights of the Round.

 

So... What IS The Air-Speed Velocity Of An Unladen Swallow? - Saying 'I don't know" is an instant trip to the bottom of the...wait, no! Aaaaaaargggh!

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • gamecheathub profile image

      gamecheathub 5 years ago

      this lens is E.P.I.C. "your father smells of elderberries!" --- man I was so furious at the end of the movie. That was the biggest punchline of them all.

    • CozyKitty profile image

      CozyKitty 6 years ago

      What do you mean? African or European swallow? (bye-byeeeeeeeeeeeee!)

      ;-)

    • oztoo lm profile image

      oztoo lm 6 years ago

      Great t-shirts for Monty Python fans. I think my husband would love one of these. Ooh and sorry but "i don't know". Aaaaaaargggh.

    • BuckHawkcenter profile image

      BuckHawkcenter 6 years ago

      Well, of course, it's twelve times the tidal moon! Didn't we all know that? Love the T-shirts, btw.