Is Dressing Modestly for Grandma?
Where does modesty begin?
Modesty begins in the heart. Yes, the most important part of you that has to be addressed is your heart. That's where all of our desires hide, including the bad ones. Often, women who expose their bodies think that there is nothing wrong with them. They feel that they should still be respected, and that is the truth, but it does not happen that way.
Before becoming a Christian, that was my case, I use to show my body and I would do it on purpose. I wanted the attention, but then I felt guilty and dirty because I knew that I was provoking men and getting the wrong type of attention. I knew deep inside my heart that they were ignoring who I was, my values, my intelligence and everything else, and were simply numbed by looking at my physical beauty. Many of those men never knew the pain I had in my heart. How could they when they were focused on the surface?
If we were to speak to women and ask them the reasons why they dress the way they do, it is likely that many of them are clueless, they will simply say that it is in fashion and some will say that their friends wear that or this, but the reality is that it is an issue of the heart. Deep in the heart, they feel as if they won't be accepted or appreciated if they don't fit the "mold".
A change of heart
If a woman is going to be modest then there must be a change of heart. She needs to evaluate where her heart is inclining or what her heart is desiring. If she feels that what others think of her is more valuable than what she thinks of herself, or that which God thinks of her, then it will be impossible for her to feel comfortable being modest. Remember modesty is not only shown in how you dress, it is also shown in how you speak and how you act. Proverbs 4:23 is a constant reminder of how powerful our hearts are in determining how we live our lives and the choices we make.
Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.
Then and Now
Years ago, it was believed (it was my case) that being and dressing modest required dressing like a grandma. Yes, long skirts, long sleeve shirts, and pale and lifeless colors. Today I realize that is far from reality. We can be fashionable and modest. Many women across the globe are embarking on the fun journey of mixing modesty and fashion.
What are the reasons women want to do it?
There are many reasons a lot of women, including myself, have chosen to not lose our fashion sense as we dress modestly. For some, the reason is religious beliefs, others want to project themselves in a respectful manner because they find that not dressing modestly gets them the wrong type of attention. Others feel that society has focused too much on outer beauty, ignoring our values and gifts and as a result women are seen more as a sex symbol than for what they are really worth.
When it comes to my personal reasons, I truly believe in dressing modestly no matter who you are. First, I believe in what the Scriptures say about me, and I believe that it gives me a guide not only how to dress, but also how to behave in a way that honors God.I also think that in my desire to honor God, I can be creative and have fun, this is the reason why I intend to be fashionable as I dress modestly.
The word of God encourages us to dress and act modestly:
1 Timothy 2:9-12
I also want the women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, adorning themselves, not with elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, 10 but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God.
Clearly, the Scriptures put a higher value on the things unseen than those that are seen. To God, the woman's good deeds are far more valuable than a hairstyle or dress. As human beings, we tend to focus so much on outward appearance that it sometimes takes away our focus from what is true. I find that to be the case in our present society, women have to have their bodies "made" to fit the mold of celebrities and have gone to the extremes of losing their own lives. Society has a mold that we can't fit into and when we try to, we end up hurt and humiliated.
I want to encourage women to learn to love who they really are without "damaging" their image and without forcing themselves to be like everyone else. The key is to find your own identity and embrace it.
One of my Church Outfits
Steps to Begin the Process
This is probably the best advice I can give you, no one can help you understand the importance of modesty more than the Holy Spirit. Pray to find within your heart the things that need to be changed. Pray to discover your identity and to connect with your creator. He designed a perfect mold for you and He can tell you what is best.
There is really no trick to dressing fashionable and modest, but you will need practice. You need to be flexible!
Flexibility is key because you may like something that is fashionable but not modest, and at times it will require that you compromise.
Don't punish yourself when you feel an outfit doesn't look good on you, or if it didn't turn out to be what you expected. Remember it is better to live and enjoy life than to worry about what you are wearing.
In order to dress modestly and fashionable you will need the following items:
- Cute Accessories Your outfit is not complete until you add the right accessories. Make sure you have colorful and fun jewelry, scarfs, and hair accessories(if that's your thing). Also, don't forget to have pantyhose around or you can use tights for cold weather.
- Have the basics You will need fashionable shoes to match your outfit. Make sure you have a variety of them. Don't forget to also have pencil skirts in your wardrobe. Always have a black dress and a black skirt as these items can be easily put together with any shoes and basically any accessory.
- Layers You must always have those things to layer your outfits. You will need cardigans, vests, and anything you can find to put on top of a tight dress or shirt.
No More Lies
In conclusion, many women are awakening from the lies of what the world calls "beauty", they are becoming more appreciative of who they are, they are respecting themselves more, and they are also redefining beauty. My hope is that in a few years, modesty can be more appreciated and that women who choose to dress modestly for whatever reason, can be respected for their choice.