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3 Indicators that You May be Male but May Not be a Man

Updated on May 5, 2014

In the past few years, I’ve noticed some males just absolutely fighting off being a man. Actually wait, that doesn’t make any sense because men would fight, but anyway. - I don’t mean to be a man you have to start fights, fight like Chuck Norris, Bench 315, have a jacked up truck, watch NASCAR, hunt, watch football every weekend or even arm wrestle; but just have some man points on the board. Below are 3 “you are male, but not a man!” warning signs!

1 – Your Jeans are Tighter Than Your Girlfriends!

Okay, tight jeans on women, great! - Tight jeans on rockers understandable, tight jeans on men making beer and/or doing graphic design? - Wrong! - Always. This tight jeans problem has been going on for some time now. - Men in tight jeans with certain parts that shouldn’t stand out standing out, what the hell? – There may be children around! Put on some regular jeans!

2 – You Have a Beard But…
Yeah, so beards are manly as hell! The SEALS have them, Special Forces have them, truckers have them, bikers have them, rednecks have them, and men driving prius’ have them. Okay, which one doesn’t friggin’ fit here? If you are driving a Prius with your “coexist” and favorite unknown band bumper stickers! We get it; you brew beer and love Obama. However I’m pretty sure there are strict rules on when you can and can’t wear a beard. – FOR EXAMPLE, WHEN YOU ARE DRIVING AROUND IN A PRIUS!

3 –You Have Never Fired a Gun
Firing a gun! It’s awesome sauce! It’s powerful! It’s liberating! It’s effin’ manly! It’s KER’POW! So if you are walking around talking about how dangerous guns are, how they make you feel uncomfortable and/or you flat out have never shot one. – Well it’s time to put on your Tom’s underpants and go fire a few rounds! Nothing will make your “pair” go into activation mode more than this one.

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