Top 10 Reasons Suspenders are Attractive
The Day I Became a Blubbering Fool
Most of the time, I am quite an expert at talking to members of the male species. I mean, I have flirting down to a science. I know when to tilt my head, how to laugh, what to say, when winking is okay...seriously. But the other day, I turned into a hopeless, blubbering, love-stricken mess. Why? Because he was wearing *suspenders*.
Which are, unfortunately, unbearably attractive.
After I was finished making a total idiot out of myself, I staggered away and sat down on the nearest park bench. And then I thought. And I thought some more. And I realized exactly why suspenders are so attractive.
Top 10 Reasons - 1) Suspenders aren't boring.
Suspenders are like sprinkles on a cupcake. They take something that is good and make it even better. Boring is no fun. Interesting is good! If chosen carefully, suspenders can add a whole new dimension to a man's outfit. By wearing suspenders, a man can accessorize yet still maintain his aura of 'manliness'.
2) They remind us of the 'good old days'...
You know, the days Grandpa and Grandma talk about. When a lady acted like a lady and a man had an air of dignity and honor around him. To be anything less than a gentleman was a disgrace. Perhaps I am romanticizing this too much, but I think that good manners are very attractive.
3) They have a rugged feel to them.
Lumberjacks chop wood. Lumberjacks are usually pretty fit. And attractive. I can hardly imagine a self-respecting lumberjack wearing a flannel shirt and chopping wood without a pair of suspenders on. Chopping wood is pretty manly. Men are supposed to be manly. See where I'm headed with this?
4) They keep your pants in place.
Pssst! Hey...guys. Quit walking around with your pants either two sizes too small or three sizes too big. Waddling like a duck (either because of pants that are too tight or too large) is NOT going to get girls. All that does is make you look like a duck. Or a penguin. They both waddle. Say no to sag. It doesn't give you swag.
5) Instant Model
Let's be honest. Guys, if you are going to wear a light green V-neck tee shirt or a pink dress shirt, you have to be somewhat attractive. Otherwise you will just look..awkward. Some guys can pull it off- most can't. But suspenders? I'm pretty sure that every guy (providing he is not absurdly over or underweight) can pull off a white dress shirt, suspenders, dark jeans and some nice shoes. Instantly, the suspenders bring the whole outfit together, and it goes from 'okay' to 'va-VAOOM!' at the speed of light. If you have a beard or a mustache, extra points for you!
You can never have too many suspenders.
You won't regret getting these.
If you're a guy, buy them now. Consider it an investment for your future. If you're a gal, buy them for your guy.
I think you could pull this off.
6) That finger loop thing.
Yeah, you know what I'm talking about. When a guy like, loops his thumbs under the suspender strap and then just kind of looks at you.
7) Suspenders could potentially save you from a rabid dog.
It's not as crazy as it sounds. Hypothetically speaking, if you were hanging out with a suspender wearing guy and you happened to come into the vicinity of an evil, rabid dog, suspenders could save you. Because, as we all know, dogs like to chase things. All you would have to do is rip off his suspenders and throw them as far as you can. And I'm willing to bet that dog will be off and running before you even have the time to stammer out an apology.
8) Suspenders could possibly save you from a rocky death.
Say you were standing on the very brink of a cliff, admiring the view below...when suddenly you started to slip off the edge. (Bet you didn't see that one coming.) As you begin your descent, you reach out and grab a small bush that happens to be protruding out of the side of the cliff. For a total of three seconds, you are dangling comfortably. And then the roots of the bush begins to give way. Your suspender wearing man gets down on his knees and tries to grab your hand- but he can't quite reach. Suddenly, he whips off his suspenders and dangles them over the edge. The added length is perfect, and you transfer your weight to the improvised rope. Bam. Saved again by the mighty suspenders.
9) Suspenders promote love (not war.)
Because how can us ladies not love a guy that looks like that? If all men wore suspenders, all men would be loved by their women. Because they would be busy being admired and adored, they would have no time for war.
10) Suspenders make the world a better place.
And as we all know, a guy that takes interest in the betterment of the world is automatically awesome. By wearing suspenders, guys are playing an important role in making the world a happier, more attractive place.
Make an investment for your future. - And the betterment of the world.
Buy them for yourself. Buy them for every guy you know. Spread the love.
Yup, these are pretty much fabulous.