10 things I hate about the Internet
I hate the Internet! (sometimes, that is)
It provides hours and hours of fun. It gives you an answer to every question in 0.08 seconds average. It lets you have your say, whatever the subject. It connects, promotes, enlightens. Gosh, the Internet is great. But it also gives you moments when you simply want to crash your computer against a wall. Let me give you 10 reasons why.
All pictures come from this source.
1. The Internet is full of rubbish
Everyone can be an online writer. To publish, all you need is an Internet connection. This means that a lot of talented, smart people get to spread their views or knowledge. This also means you're more than likely to get across tons of literary disasters, because not all Internet authors are talented and smart. Let's face it - some of the content out there is simply complete and utter nonsense. And we have to live with that.
2. The Internet is full of sugar
Let me illustrate. Visit Etsy or a similar page. Choose the ugliest, kitschiest, the most awful item you can find. Go to comments page. Read. Puke.
For some reason criticizing anything on the Web seems to be a terrible, terrible faux pas. Ok, I do understand to some extent, venomous judgement hurts everyone. But is it technically possible to criticize something without the poisonous edge? I browse and I doubt.
There are two points I'm trying to make here:
1. It doesn't feel real. The world where everybody loves everything is just as convincing as Hollywood superhero movies, it's nauseating and personally it turns me into an aggressive, all-hating monster. Allergic reaction to sugar overdose, I suppose.
2. How can someone get better if everything he or she does is called bloody fantastic for political correctness or Internet etiquette? How can they know they NEED to get better?
To add some weight to my words, let me officially ask you:
IF YOU DON'T LIKE SOMETHING IN THIS LENS, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE TELL ME IN THE COMMENTS SECTION.
No venom, please. But you're allowed not to like it. You're allowed not to agree with me. It's ok, you know?
3. The Internet is full of people who want to sell you something
Hahaha, what a thing to say on Squidoo!
I have no doubt that selling stuff online is a cool way to make your living. I'm trying to do the same, although I would much prefer to do it by writing, not selling. Ebay etc. are extremely useful and shopping online saves you time, money and traffic jams, but sometimes it gets tiring. It all blew out of proportion. These days a webpage that doesn't sell a single thing should be given an award, I don't know, a Golden Trolley or something. Just to show it's special.
I'm cool with pages saying - Hi, it's a shop, you can buy this and that here, and we'll deliver it to your door.
But when I see 'Everything you need to know about tomatoes' including two sentences about tomatoes and 77 tomato products for sale I start frothing with rage.
Am I the only one?
Note 1: I've made the tomato website up. Just if you were wondering.
Note 2: I'm not adding a single selling unit into this lens, just to show that I mean it. Anything ad-ish here is automatically put in by Squidoo.
4. The Internet is full of misinformation
One day I wanted to find out what were the 10 greatest earthquakes ever recorded. I asked Google the Omniscient and...
Got about 20 different answers.
This applies to anything you want.
I have this tiny little dream that one day someone will come up with The Internet Credibility Check. So that if something is not true, it will be marked as such.
Hey, I know that's not possible. I'm only dreaming, right?
5. The Internet is an inspiration killer
I really don't know how it works. The more you browse stuff that other people wrote, the less you're able to write your own. I am, anyway.
I think the phenomenon is amazing and worth studying if it proves to be more common.
Psychologically, it seems to be this stupid feeling of invisibility - there's so much content out there, you'd never be able to create something to stand out.
Energetically - well, energetically the Internet is just this big, bottomless, energy-sucking vampire. If you believe in such things, that is.
6. The Internet is a time thief
Ok, so you're sitting down to do a decent day of publishing work. Only you need to check your emails first. Oh, look, you need to answer to at least this one and this one, too. And you need to check the recent news, after all it's important to know what's happening in the world. Someone's commented on your lens, well, you gotta check back, right? What a good material, keep on reading, commenting, polling, quizzing... While we're at quizzing, hell, you're only 124 points away from the next squidlevel, it's a shame not to kick it up. Oh, and there was this link for this fabulous pasticcio few clicks ago, you need to go back and check it out, and while you're there, they are recommending this cooking forum, and recipes there are said to be absolutely amazing, so you spend some time there, and...
After seven hours you realise it's getting dark and you didn't put together a single paragraph.
7. The Internet is full of freebies you need to pay for
This goes especially for computer software. Download x program absolutely free!! So you clutter your disk with some more stuff and only then you find out that while downloading it is really free, you need an expensive licence to actually run it.
Or 'register for free' services which surprise you with a bill two weeks later. I KNOW this one is illegal, but it doesn't mean it doesn't happen!
Or 'Three weeks in Caribbean absolutely gratis!!!*"
*Only if you buy a battleship first. Special offer, only $18,000,000,000...
8. The Internet is full of members-only websites
I know that most of those memberships are free. So what.
At the moment, I think I'm using about 30 different platforms I need to log onto to use. It's 30 different usernames and passwords and I'm running out of notebook space to write them all down.
I'm also not a member of about a 100 of various pretty useful platforms. I came, I saw (the 'register' bit), I ran like hell.
9. The Internet is full of people who crave your personal data
What is your occupation? Your name? Your address? Your email? Your favourite colour? Your teddy bear's name, if you still have one? Style of your knickers today?
In my last job, before we hired anyone, we typed their name in Google and usually we found them on Facebook. Together with their favourite food, band, pyjamas and pictures from this last pasty where they danced on a table topless...
Just some food for thought.
10. The Internet is full of scammers
Everybody knows it. Nobody stops it.
You know those 'I have $6,000,000,000 to give away, please relieve me of this burden' letters?
Or 'I'll pay you $1000 per click' schemes?
Or 'Hi, it's your bank calling, please confirm your account access codes' emails?
Or 'You'll earn thousands not moving your ass if you only buy this first' announcements?
Or 'Wow, you are 10000th visitor to our site, please claim your free trip to the Moon' offers?
Is anyone ever buying this crap?
If not, why is it still there???
Letting steam out helps!
Oooff, I feel so much better now!
Every psychologist will tell you that venting off your anger relieves it. Some other day I will write an article on 10 things I love about the Internet, but now...
BACK TO SURFING!
Am I all alone?
Or any of the things listed above piss you off too? If only sometimes?
How many of my complaints make sense to you?
Or rave. Whichever you choose.
Please keep your language civil. This page is G-rated and I need to keep it that way. I'll be forced to remove comments with adult vocabulary even if I agree with the sentiment expressed - not fun!