11 Facebook Personalities Everyone Has On Their Friend List
These people struggle to type a status update without starting or ending it with “FML”. Whether it's the latest tragedy to befall them, like spilling hot coffee in their lap, or sharing the latest doomsday headlines, these people will, ironically, never be happy until everyone else is unhappy.
Little Miss Sunshine -
Quite the opposite of Mr. Grumpy, Little Miss Sunshine is constantly vomiting rainbows all over her Facebook. Her profile page will be strewn with care bears, unicorns and notifications from groups like I ♥ MY BFF [ Best Friends Forever ]. You'll vom a little in your mouth as she writes 378 status updates in 24 hours about how much she “luvs” her new “boyf” and your toes will curl trying to decipher what the hell she's talking about when she writes like this: “MWAAZ y0 s0o ((cy00t)) 0n diz l0vly m0rN1N! Nj0y y0 d@y b@yb33 ♥”
Mr. Noisy -
He just loves to UNLEASH THE FURY OF CAPS LOCK! Perhaps suffering from a chronic case of SDS it seems like someone is always pissing on this guy's parade. Road rage for breakfast, loathing his fascist boss for lunch and detesting the result of a cage fighting match in the evening.
Mr. Daydream -
Filled with childlike naivete, this guy devours motivational books and spews out affirming quotes day in and day out. You'd think by now all of those books and DVDs would have spurred him on to a successful life filled with bountiful riches and supermodels, but he's still slaving away in a dead end job and remains hopelessly single.
This delusion spreads to all aspects of his life, so be prepared to hear about the latest conspiracy theory doing the rounds. Right now he's probably stockpiling canned goods in preparation for December 21, 2012, while you should be preparing a sarky remark for December 22.
Mr. Funny -
It's advisable to avoid taking a sip of your coffee before reading this guy's updates or you'll have it spewing out of your nose and onto your screen. A career in standup comedy has obviously eluded this guy as he brings forth such gems such as: “Mr. Funny hates it when people say stuff in their status updates that you really didn't want to know. I hate that. Anyway, I gotta go pooh.”
Yes, we're Facebook friends, but I've probably only spoken two words to you in public, which means that, no, you can't ask me about my sexual proclivities. Mr. Nosey, or more frequently Little Miss Nosey, wants to know everything about you, your dog, your job, your relationship, your favourite souffle recipe.
Mr. Lazy -
This guy wants to know where the local coffee shop is, or where to buy tires, or he wants to know what sesquipedalianism means. Quick hint -->> http://www.google.com
Little Miss Chatterbox -
OMG! Like guys, I just had my nails done and then I'm going for lunch and then like I'm gonna go home and bath and then I'm having dinner and then like I might watch TV and then I'm going to make some Chamomile tea and then...
This guy is ruled by his stomach. Each status update is about the food he's eating or the food he wants to eat or the food he is about to eat.
Making the rest of us look like losers. He's perfectly groomed, looks like he wouldn't go amiss on a GQ cover, drives an Aston Martin, works in a dream job and has a flourishing relationship with a swimsuit model.
Little Miss Vain
More than likely the aforementioned swimsuit model. Better known, however, as an Attention Whore. She probably has at least two profiles, since she's already hit her 5000 “friend” cap and had to open another profile to deal with the deluge of drooling suitors who can't wait for her to post pics of her latest lingerie shoot. She also has a fanpage, a blog, and a website. Every day she'll be begging her fans to vote for her in yet another crappy “Model Search” competition.