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Asking a Girl Out on Facebook is not Really a Good Idea

Updated on February 1, 2013

In this day and age, have you ever met a girl where you managed to talk to her and that she has talked to you back and all of a sudden it has turned into a good conversation for a short period of time. And the next day you see her again and you join in another conversation. This keeps going for a few more days and then the big one comes: you exchange your names to see each other on Facebook so that you can add each other and become Facebook friends. When you go to your computer, it is usually you who adds her to your friends list. She accepts it, and now you feel like something good is going on. Next, you exchange posts or messages or better yet chat online with whatever you two talk about. This goes on for awhile and then one day, you decide that it is time to ask her out on a date. You don't have her phone number but lucky for you, you're friends with her on Facebook. So you think this will be easy right? Well let's move forward. You ask her to go out with you by sending her a message and not on her wall post because you don't want to let other of her friends see your conversation. You write her a nice message, you try your best to write one without sounding awkward because you were thinking what to write before you started. You finally put all the words together the way you want it and then you click send. It says "message sent" and now you wait, really hoping that she will reply to you soon or the next day. When the next day comes, you check your messages and you find out that she hasn't replied to you yet. Now your thinking maybe she's just busy and she hasn't had the time to check it. The next day comes, still no answer. The next day comes and she still hasn't replied. Now you're wondering if you said something wrong in your message. You go back and check if there was something that was not supposed to be there or that if it was right to put that statement. Either way, you're trying to figure out why she just hasn't replied to you. You know you meant well and that you want to get to know her more. Then comes the day where you're going to see her in person again. You see her, meet her, talk to her and, here's two scenarios:1) you ask her why she hasn't replied to you or 2) you don't ask anything but she hasn't said anything about getting a message from you and just completely discusses another topic. If it is the first scenario that you do, she just apologizes, gives the excuse that she just didn't know or did not get a chance to see it. If it's the second scenario, you're just hoping that she would bring it up or you feel tempted to bring it up yourself. Now you don't feel comfortable asking her out in person just yet but you try to ask her out on Facebook again. In general, the many girls you meet and add to your friends list, you ask them out and yet, almost all of them either do not reply or just give the excuse that they are busy and don't have the time. Here's the real answer: they don't think they should go out with someone asking them through Facebook or worse, they just get turned off. If you're one of the many people that feel comfortable doing this and having high hopes, as a person of this particular experience and that has gone through with this and learned from the mistake, your chances are slim.

Here's the truth.

No matter how many ways we connect with people through social media, when asking a girl out on a date, girls still want guys to ask them out in person because they want confidence from them. They want confidence so that they know that the guy they go out with can protect her from many circumstances. That's just how it works. When I started to ask girls out on Facebook, I had the same results where they just gave the excuse that they are busy or they just don't reply at all. I learned that later on my junior year at college so I started to do the old fashioned way. At times, it was nerve wracking but in the end I got better results than in Facebook. I even asked many girls if they would prefer to go out with a guy who asks them in person than on Facebook, and honestly, many of them said that asking them out on Facebook makes them think that the guy is simply not confident enough. Sometimes they said that it's stupid. You will be lucky if there is that one girl that accepts and you managed to spend time together. That's good. If it lasts long, that's even better. If you got engaged after many years of courtship, well congratulations, it just happened. But to many people, it just doesn't happen. It is about time that you build up confidence and ask the girl that you like in person. But you say you get nervous all the time and you think right away that she will be turned off when you stutter a bit. Here's something you should know that I don't think many guys know: girls find it a little sexy when being asked out on a stutter. This may sound weird you say but at least the girl will know that you have managed to build up confidence to ask her out and when she finds that out, she will also respect you more. There are times that when you ask other girls on how you can reach the girl of your dreams, they will suggest Facebook messaging. The reason, in my opinion, they would give that advice is probably because they can't think of other good ways to help out. They want to mean well, but they probably don't realize themselves that it is not the good way. It may sound contradicting for a girl to suggest that and yet they don't think it's a good idea when it happens to them. But trust me, you are better off asking the girl out in person than on Facebook. Because if you do ask on Facebook, you will just be more disappointed. You can ask your guy friends to hang out through Facebook and that's ok, and it's vice versa for girls. But for a guy to ask a girl like that, it is not.


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