E-Mail Forwards: The Spice of Life

There is no greater feeling than to open your e-mail box and see it full of chain mail. You know that you're in for some fun. You know that you're going to cry. You know that the next thirty minutes or so are going to be the most informative, well-used moments of your day.

• In one e-mail, you are thrilled to find out that your buddy's wish will come true. She forwarded the email to five people and now the wish fairy will work her magic.

• After reading another, you're filled with relief. Your money problems are over now because, out of the goodness of his heart, Bill Gates is offering you some cash.

• Oh, look, a friend survey. I always wanted to know what cookie my friends think they resemble.
  
• Thanks to this next e-mail, I'll finally get to know, through a series of questions, what animal my personality looks like. I have to concentrate because I don't want to give the wrong answer and get crummy results.
  
• An angel just informed me that, if I forward this e-mail to ten people, Jesus will know I love him. I didn't know Jesus doubted my love. I guess I'll have to buy him flowers or something.
  
• Can you believe this? Little Jimmy has been diagnosed with a rare illness that can't be found in any medical book. He needs your help! If you pass his message along, money will be raised to pay for his treatment. (On a serious note, that sick child forward always gets to me. Who thought it was cool to joke about illness, especially about a sick child?)

I know that these forwards aren't supposed to be taken seriously. Using our common sense, we should realize that wishes aren't granted based upon how many people we know to bug with forwards or that Bill Gates has or will ever place a check in the mail for us. Yet, people continue to send out forwards. Besides for entertainment, why? Is it because they are so down on their luck that they'd do anything to have a wish granted? Is it because of a belief in a higher power? Is it because they know a sick child and, on the off chance that Jimmy is real, don't want to ignore it because they don't want their own child to be ignored? Are people wanting to communicate, but are unable to think of words of their own? Regardless of the answer, these forwards will never disappear. In-boxes will continue to be overrun with e-mail weeds till the end of time (or the end of the internet, which ever comes first).

I hope you will forward this piece along to your friends and family. If you do, I'll put in a good word for you with Bill.