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Defriended On Facebook? 8 Ways To Lose Friends

Updated on July 9, 2011

8 Easy ways to lose Facebook friends

By now, most of us all know the incredible story of one young man’s rise from college student to social media mogul. Starting with a fairly simple idea, Mark Zuckerberg was able to build an enormously popular, extremely profitable website used by millions of people all over the world. At its initial inception , I doubt even Mark expected it would become what it is today. Originally, it was a way for college students to keep in touch and share information. It’s now the most popular social media network on the web, attracting new users of all ages, places, backgrounds, etc. every day. Many of us couldn’t imagine life without Facebook. But as with many things in life, there comes a certain amount of etiquette involved with using social networking sites. And if a member doesn’t follow some basic rules of etiquette, he or she might be facing the dreaded consequence of being defriended. After being part of the Facebook community for a few years I’ve noticed several reasons why someone might be deleted from a friend’s list.

1. Too many darned posts. Every time you post a new status it becomes visible to all of your friends. It’s nice to know what’s going on in people’s lives, but do we really need to know every single time someone goes to Wal-Mart, eats lunch or sees a new movie? No, we do not.

2. Too many picture updates. I love my kids. I think they’re the most beautiful beings on the face of this planet. I also know not everyone appreciates this. Constantly being bombarded with cutesy pictures of someone’s children or grandchildren is about as interesting as watching someone else’s home movies. Save the picture updates for photobucket or another picture sharing website. If I want to see your pictures I’ll make a special visit there.

3. Too many adorable kid updates. This goes along with #2. We get it. You think you’re kids are delightful, amazing and every endearing thing they do or say is remarkable. But you’re most likely the only one who does. Get a blog or journal and share little Johnnie or Susie’s pearls of wisdom there.

4. Too many adorable pet updates. See #3.

5. Too many relationship status updates/changes. Okay, we get it. Your girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/wife is being a jerk, you’re mad at him/her and have either broken up permanently or temporarily. But do we all have to be privy to your relationship discord? Are you trying to get your friends to take sides? Are you soliciting new mates? Keep it private and work things out (or not) between the two of you. Facebook is not a substitute for marriage counseling or dating services.

6. Political and/or religious updates. There’s a reason why it is a well-known fact you should never discuss politics or religion with friends and family. Someone always gets angry. I personally know of several long-term friendships and family relationships that have been irreparably ruined because of political discussions-turned- arguments on Facebook. Join an online discussion or message board of like-minded people and discuss your political/religious pet peeves there.

7. Inappropriate or just plain ridiculous posts. Posts about how wasted you got the night before or how hung over you are now is, well, stupid. I’ve actually seen posts saying how wasted someone is/was and in the same breath talking about how they’re on their way to a job interview. First, how well is the interview going to go? Who doesn’t see the writing on that wall? And, second, don’t people realize potential employers are actively checking social networks to peruse profiles before hiring someone? No matter how cool you want to appear to friends and family (although I doubt Grandma would approve) keep your drinking exploits out of your status updates.

8. Too many game invites, updates or requests. I get it. You have fish and you like feeding them. Your zoo has a billion visitors, your crops need harvesting or you need someone to whack a mafiaso. But I really don’t care. I don’t want your constant updates about what level you are, if you need a starfish, or are giving away free strawberries. What I’m really more interested in is how in the heck you find time to play all these dumb games?

Facebook friends a measure of worth?

Some people have thousands of friends. Do they really know every single one of them? Is the process of accumulating friends on Facebook a measure of your self-worth? An esteem builder? A ploy to make you look popular? It’s difficult to notice that you’ve been defriended when you have close to 2,000 friends on your list. But when someone realizes they’ve been deleted from a friend’s list it can sometimes be upsetting. You may wonder what you’ve done to cause them to decide you are no longer friend worthy. If you actually know the person personally it could perhaps lead to an argument.

If you can't beat 'em, block 'em

Before resorting to defriending someone you should realize there are other things you can do first. The most simplest being to hide posts from a particular user. I’ve actually done this, without letting the person know. Then no one is the wiser. Or you can be a good friend and gently tell them their Facebook friend etiquette needs some work and tell them why. Remember, friends don’t let friends make stupid posts.


Have you ever...

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    • Sherry Hewins profile image

      Sherry Hewins 

      5 years ago from Sierra Foothills, CA

      I have never defriended, nor as far as I know, has anyone defriended me. I have blocked my viewing of several people, including my own sister, because of just the sheer volume of updates they post. It was totally crowding out everything else. I actually do love pictures though, I don't mind how many pictures anyone posts.

    • lovesleftovers profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago from Texas

      Andrew, I've lost "friends" on FB for seemingly no reason. It made me wonder why, but then I realized it wasn't that important. If I posted something they didn't like or agree with and decided it was so bad they no longer wanted to be my FB friend over it then so be it. Thanks so much for your comment

    • profile image

      Andrew Kim 

      6 years ago

      My WORST nightmare is losing friends for no reason; Facebook made this nightmare come true at least 20 times. Using Facebook is equivalent to playing with matches in a pool of liquid gas.

    • lovesleftovers profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago from Texas

      Kathleen, Facebook certainly has its good and bad points. I've also been able to get back in touch with friends and family members and that's always a good thing :) Thanks so much for your comment!

    • Kathleen Cochran profile image

      Kathleen Cochran 

      6 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

      I've experienced all these things too. But then I've also reco nnected with long lost cousins, old friends of my parents, folks we knew from our early days in the Army and on and on.

      I worry I post too much so I try to limit myself. I'm afraid those who do post too much, don't worry about it either.

    • lovesleftovers profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago from Texas

      Thanks so much Talullah! You're so right, FB is filled with a lot of inane nonsense :)

    • Talullah profile image


      6 years ago from SW France

      I really enjoyed this hub. There is such a lot of mindless stuff on FB that I can rarely be bothered with it.

    • ripplemaker profile image

      Michelle Simtoco 

      7 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

      Hmmmm I guess when you look at it that way, it is called gossiping? Your hub made me ponder. Anyhow, my internet connection was down for the past few days and so haven't updated my facebook. But guess what? I was fine! LOL

      Congratulations on your Hubnuggets nomination. Read this week's hubnuggets and vote right here:

    • lovesleftovers profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago from Texas

      Thanks for your comment ocnbreez! I appreciate the positive feedback :)

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      Right on. With rapid advances in technology and younger genereations -ahemmm ... - coming in to their own, etiquette and consideraton for others has become an issue. You've hit upon many issues dealing with the current "facebook - all about me" generation. Thank you.

    • lovesleftovers profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago from Texas

      Yes, this is very true Jean! Thanks for your compliment and comment :)

    • profile image

      Jean Baker 

      7 years ago

      I think a few people could take these things into consideration! Very funny and well said.


    • lovesleftovers profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago from Texas

      I agree Lowell. I recently deactivated my Facebook acct. because of some silly goings on. But I realize it can also be a powerful business tool so I'm considering reinstating it. How wonderful that you were able to reconnect with a childhood friend! Facebook does have that positive (most times) aspect as well :)

    • profile image

      Lowell D. Glady 

      7 years ago

      I really like your view on 8 way/ facebook. I look it as a business promoter if not used to the point where it is annoying and I ran into a girl I knew when I was 8 yrs old. That was quite exciting... I am 77 so you can imagine.


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