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Funny OMG Status Updates and Quotes

Updated on March 9, 2019
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StricktlyDating is an Australian writer who creates pages of original funny quotes and status updates.

A page of funny OMG status updates and quotes.

Funny OMG Status Updates And Quotes:

  • Stop looking at me... OMG.
  • Just a little late for the gym today. OMG that's one year late.
  • When your boyfriend has bigger boobs than you. OMG.
  • OMG, hair on your head should be called public hair.
  • OMG, outdated meme's should be called memeries!
  • OMG, pregnant woman should be the ones called body builders!
  • OMG, bedrooms should be called restrooms, not the toilets!
  • Trying not to spaz out after being swooped by a magpie. OMG.
  • 9am can I please fast forward to 5pm. OMG.
  • I'm so clumsy I've started using paper plates and plastic cups at home. OMG.
  • The sign on the footpath says DON'T WALK so I ran. Fast. OMG.
  • I love seeing men cleanly shaven, style hair and wearing suits. OMG.
  • OMG. I love being stuck between bikini babes lining up for hot chips at the beach.
  • Oh. Em. Gee!
  • OMG, you're wearing complex Instagram double braids and painted in eyebrows at 9am when I've barely had time to wash my face.
  • OMG, that made me laugh so loud I spat coffee all over my keyboard!
  • OMG, I cannot unread the Tweet I just read.
  • OMG! The rain is wet.
  • Selfies with a toilet seat in the background! OMG so classy!
  • OMG! Volcano's should be called mountain fountains!
  • OMG! There is 86,400 seconds in a day. But who's counting...
  • What's she got that I don't? OMG.
  • OMG. I'll have whatever Miranda Kerr is eating, drinking, wearing and putting in her hair.
  • When your celebrity crush has more problems than your ex. OMG.
  • STOP IT!... I refresh the page, your tweet appears, I fall off my chair laughing! OMG.
  • So, school uniforms include high-heels these days, OMG.
  • My 8 year old cousin got an iPhone for his Birthday. OMG.
  • Although I'm here at my desk, In my mind I'm in Paris. OMG, and a French man is feeding me croissants and Champagne for breakfast.
  • Dreamed I was in a room full of Play Bunnies. And they were hopping around after me. OMG.
  • Slept 12 hours. Still tired. OMG.
  • 3am still wide awake. OMG.
  • OMG I hate it when my underwire bra breaks out and stabs me in the armpit.
  • OMG! It's my Birthday and I don't feel a day over fabulous!
  • Every single channel is on a commercial break. OMG.
  • OMG! Sorry I didn't return your call. I don't use my phone for that.
  • Forgetting to set the alarm clock on a Sunday night. OMG.
  • I just tried to answer the phone with the remote control. OMG.
  • Forgot I was at work and answered the phone with "Hiya!" OMG.
  • When you meet someone for 3 seconds and then they add you on Facebook. OMG.
  • I brought a new dress. He called and cancelled our date. OMG.
  • Left my phone in the office and it beeped all night. OMG.
  • 40 degrees today. Left my Tuna sandwich in my boyfriends car. OMG.
  • Home dye. Yellow hair. OMG MAKE AN APPOINTMENT!
  • $5 for bottled water. OMG beer is cheaper! Beer please!
  • There is no more food. OMG.
  • I am feeling Fridaylicious! OMG!
  • "I want to live in your socks so I'm with you every step of the way!" OMG.
  • "Hey look! Even the leaves are falling for you!" OMG.
  • OMG there is something wrong with your cell phone! It doesn't have my number in it.
  • Wearing purple with orange today, only clothes that didn't need ironing. OMG.
  • OMG. Wearing that purple and orange outfit LIKE A BOSS!
  • Being at a party with 3 of your ex's in the room. OMG not fun.
  • "Do you like whales? Because I would like to free your willy". OMG!
  • When your taxi driver has bad B.O... OMG. Windows down please!
  • OMG I cannot sit down. Cheek sunburn!
  • Realising you've found true love is an OMG moment.
  • OMG. Did I just log into Sookbook?
  • OMG he's hotter than a volcano.
  • OMG I hate you. I wanna be you.
  • OMG the smell of mom's cooking. Priceless!
  • I can still fit into the earrings I wore in high school. OMG!
  • Waiting for the weekend. OMG I hate Mondays!
  • Just read the texts I sent when I was partying last night. OMG.
  • Last night was wild! OMG.
  • Boyfriend shaved his entire body. Not happy. OMG.
  • I've found my dream girl. OMG. She plays heavy metal in her car.
  • I hate slow laptops... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... OMG.
  • When your crush wants to date your mate. OMG.
  • When there's a spider the size of a cat inside your car. OMG, that's when you know you're Aussie.

  • OMG. If you're going to be two-faced at least make one of them pretty.
  • When your blind date is someone you've already dated. OMG.
  • When your boobs creep out of your bra. OMG.
  • I'm flirting? OMG. I'm from the real world where people call it TALKING.
  • Just got asked out by someone who looks older than my dad. OMG.
  • When your date's dad asks what your intentions are with his daughter. OMG.
  • The shop assistant had just passed wind when I went up to him. OMG. Like salami. Up my nose.
  • Just flirted with a stranger because he looked like my childhood crush (The Cookie Monster). OMG.
  • OMG I was ironing in my underwear, too close to the window. Sorry Postman.
  • Accidentally sending a text to the wrong person OMG.
  • Relationship Status: OMG!
  • OMG. Just slapped my face, thought there was a spider but it was just my hair blowing in the breeze.
  • OMG. You update your status LIKE A BOSS!
  • OMG my heart drops when I drop my phone and I pray the screen doesn't crack.
  • When you're standing up on a crowded bus and someone pinches you on the butt. OMG.
  • OMG After Monday and Tuesday even my calender says W T F.
  • I just got caught in one of those OMG it's not what it looks like moments!
  • I said I "love you". He said "Okay". O M G.
  • When even the weirdest person you know has a boyfriend and you're always single. OMG.
  • Can we just be friends? OMG I hate when that happens.
  • I don't have ex's I have Y's. OMG Y did I do that!
  • Photos of celebrities without makeup. OMG.
  • When you're wondering if the person is a boy or a girl. OMG.
  • When you finally get to talk to your crush and accidentally say "I love you". OMG *runs away*
  • Oreo Recipe: Dip biscuits in melted chocolate, batter and fry...OMG.
  • When you're at a friends house and you've done a number two, and it won't flush. OMG.

Author: Stricktlydating Copyright 2013.

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That says PUBLIC... Not what you were thinking!
That says PUBLIC... Not what you were thinking!

© 2013 StrictlyQuotes


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    • Kenja profile image

      Ken Taub 

      7 years ago from Long Island, NY

      funny girl....

    • stricktlydating profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago from Australia

      Diogenes, you are so funny! You need to get some of those stories online here at Hubpages! And thanks for your comments DDE! I loved hearing from you both :)

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      The one that wouldn't flush reminds me of my days on the Cruiser, HMS Sheffield. I was the shithouse dodger for a month (cleans toilet). We had a "turd of the week" contest and a huge floater was fished out and varnished!



    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 

      7 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Cool so true and you did this hub so well the thought of OMG fits in anywhere these days.

    • stricktlydating profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago from Australia

      OMG! So lovely to have comments from some of my favourite's on Hubpages! Thank you acaetnna, kidscraft and Sunny River - Enjoy your weekend too :)

    • acaetnna profile image


      7 years ago from Guildford

      OMG ... just great!

    • Sunny River profile image

      Sunny River 

      7 years ago from A Place Without A Name which resides somewhere between Fantasy and Belief, just north of Reality

      Thanks for the laugh! That was great!


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